<p>Okay sorry if I'm starting a new thread or something I'm not exactly sure as to how it works but please help!
ALL constructive criticism is welcome. </p>
<p>Freshman applicants: Describe the world you come fromfor example, your family, community or schooland tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I am a Qurbawi kid I grew up in the outside world, far from my native people. I grew up with knowing who the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus were but also knew about the Xoor and the Caws iyo biyo ku nool figurative monsters who were used to scare the kids for staying up too late. But I didn't have any first-hand experiences of these stories in my country, that is, until I moved to Somalia when I was 8 years old.
When I arrived in Somalia, I was ecstatic to see a crowd of people shouting greetings like Salaamu Alaykum and Ma nabad qabtaan. I didn't speak Somali very well but tried my best to reply with the language I was familiar with. My father and mother had taught me much but it wasn't enough; I wanted to see my parents' world with my own eyes.
The scent of different spices, perfumes, and uunsi - a special Somali incense - filled the air. Eating breakfast with not only my nuclear family but also distant relatives - who didn't seem so distant, helping with the groceries and other daily activities, became more special to me. It was common for neighbors to buy presents and invite me and my family over. It was all good. That was until I saw the struggles my people faced daily.
Ever since the civil war began in 1991, the Somali people constantly faced daily struggles. Beggars filled the streets, millions of people were displaced from their homes, and the government collapsed. Internal strife tore the people apart and the once astonishing Somalia became known as a war-torn country. But it's not just a war-torn country; I know it's more than just a battle weary country and I want others to know. I want to educate people that although there's real, stark, damaging poverty here, it's not the only thing. There's similar poverty in Clichy Sous Bois in Paris. In Memphis. In Brooklyn. The outskirts of Amsterdam. I want people to know that Somalia has similar problems to those countries in the western hemisphere but also has similar certitudes. It's not all flies on babies. I hope to help my country show the world that it is more than a broken government but filled with people who have real goals, ambitions, and dreams. I want to show the world that I am also apart of them.
Even though I still might be a Qurbawi kid, my time of living in Somalia had greatly shaped me and the way I looked at the world. I don't see it through rose colored glasses, but saw both the bad and good sides. I want to aid my country be the flourishing nation it once was. Even though I cannot accomplish it alone, I want to be part of the people who ignite it. The compassion and dedication I have to offer is unique, and a community with support for diversity and mutual respect with result through my ideas.
Word Count: 503 words</p>
<p>Am I putting in too many foreign words? Does it sound like I'm attacking anywhere? I want to say that I'm both Somali and American too, but I'm not sure as to how I would put it... please help!</p>