Can someone please take a quick look at my essay?

<p>I'm taking the SAT on January 28 and I'm a little worried about the essay. I'd usually call myself an okay writer, but the time restraint and pressure always get me on the SAT. If someone could take a look at and suggest a score for this essay that I self proctored, I would immensely appreciate it.</p>

<p>Prompt: Is the world changing for the better?</p>

<p>-----Throughout history, there has always been that one group, be it a group of intellectuals or commoners, that incessantly insists that the new innovations and changes of the world are polluting the people of its time. In the 1800's, people attacked theaters and new innovations such as the phonograph as things that destroyed the work ethic of people. In modern times, some argue that new television shows such as "SpongeBob" are "scientifically proven" to reduce the attention span of children. These fears all stem from the uncomfortableness of the new; they are a result of the intrinsic human want to stick with the orthodox and shun the new. However, the changing world seems to, overall, be an optimistic one, no matter what some may assert.
-----There has always been that "irrational" fear of the doctor. It is found in children and adults alike. It can be argued that this is due to the atrocious medical practices of physicians in the past. These "old" physicians usually ended up ironically doing the exact opposite of what they were hired to do by making the condition of patients worse. One such instance occurred after president Garfield was shot in 1881. the wounded president's doctors inserted questionable objects of all sorts in Garfield's found, ranging from fingers to unsterilized equipment. In modern times, doctors would have been able to simply remove the bullet and stitch the wound right back up, all thanks to new technology.
-----One could disparage the conditions of the American city during the 1800's just as much as the practices of medical professionals of that time. As immigrants flooded into America to seek wage earning positions in factories, ethnic tenements and awful street conditions grew rapidly. Often times, thousands of immigrant Americans would be crammed into one city block in these tenements. To make matters worse, ten to fifteen families would often share one vile and disease ridden toilet. This toilet would act as a medium for sicknesses, leading to epidemics. The conditions of the city streets were even worse. Due to a lack of proper sewage systems, the feces of humans and animals painted the streets. If one were to look at American cities today, he or she would fail to find streets lined with human excretions or city housing without a private toilet or window. This could also be said about many of the other countries around the world.
-----Despite the abundance of whistle-blowers constantly insisting that the world is degrading into a primitive mess, the world is, in fact, improving almost daily. as people throughout the world gain more knowledge, they become further armed to combat the condemnable conditions of the past.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>