Can someone rate my essay

<p>Apologize if this is wrong but here it goes:
i hate writing, especially in a short alloted time but tell me what i would get on a scale of 1-12
Essay - 25 minutes
Assignment: Are all important discoveries the result of focusing on one subject?</p>

<p>Important discoveries result from the focus on a specific subject. In fact, centering your focus on to one subject brings more clarity into a subject (or accomplishing more) during a period of time leading to more robust and valuable discoveries -- one to remember. Instead of multitasking which can ultimately failure or irrelevancy. One must show dedication and experience one's TRUE and only passion toward ONE subject in order to bring novelty into one's field. In this essay, I will use examples from history and life experience.</p>

<p>Inarguably, Thomas Edison was an absolute virtuoso in his field. He was definitely one of the many best, if not the greatest. He worked with electricity and worked with ways to innovate upon technology that was beyond his time. He had an unfathomable talent. One that would change course of history forever. Thomas Edison lived in a world where only candles existed. He was devoted to change all of that. In the means of even facing terrible accidents that are bound to set course in his way. His constant failures result in many attempts to discover something novel. Although, disaster and entropy set course in his way he never gave up... always saying strong in his field. Failure never fazed. He learned to persevere in to his field... knowing his talent would have something to offer in the world one day. Trying many times despite meeting failure in the eyes many times. He eventually invented the light bulb. An historical novelty which changed nightly and dark societies forever. Allowing us to stay up after evening even if it is dark. Preventing fires which candles tend to start and light bulbs shined even brighter than any candle. A fire that lasted much longer than one night... Powered by a type of source that is safe and is very generous in amounts is none other than electricity.</p>

<p>Writing seemed impossible for me. Even now, I struggle to write a strong sounding sentence. They always have a feel for constant errors and sound really horrible. It was even worse back then. I hated writing... even now. It gives me a constant struggle... I never understood proper rules of the English language... However, I decided to never give in even if the worst prefaces itself to you. So that is exactly what I did. Receiving my first English grade of C-, I decided to work harder than ever. Following the footsteps of the pretentious individuals (my cousins and older friends) I worked hard... reading books and reading grammar rules. Whatever it takes to renovate something weak and make it robust. My rusty writing skills. Something that can never truly be improved enough but however, after weeks of hard work... it paid off. My eventual grade skyrocketed from a C- to a A+. Although I felt i didn't deserve it... It always felt good to obtain a higher level. I attempt to achieve better writing skills by working on improving grammatical rules and errors. Eventual writing skills are bound to improve if one decides to work hard toward one subject until one's desire for the subject is fulfilled.</p>

<p>Conclusion:
Important discoveries are made from dedication and focus on to one important subject that matters at hand. Working on many subjects at hand may lead to ambivalence and insecurities. Never finishing what one started. Its far more difficult to master more than one field. As far as one should be concerned is one subject that one truly desires. Don't be a weak virtuoso that only knows so much about his many fields... instead be a robust expert and understand one field. Allowing one enough time and dedication to achieve novelty in ones field.</p>

<p>constructive criticism is nice
im bad at typing when im rushing my essay
i was copying off my paper
1st paragraph: ultimately lead to failure or irrelevancy*
2nd paragraph:
…always staying* strong in his field
Failure never fazed him*.</p>

<p>(this might be personal preference) but saying “As history and experiences from my life proves, one must show dedication and experience one’s true and only passion toward one subject in order to bring novelty into one’s field.” </p>

<p>is a much stronger thesis than:</p>

<p>“One must show dedication and experience one’s TRUE and only passion toward ONE subject in order to bring novelty into one’s field. In this essay, I will use examples from history and life experience.”</p>

<p>Also…
I would try to vary the sentence structure alot more. Your first main paragraph uses simple sentences repetitively. In your next essay, try combining them (make some compound and complex sentences). </p>

<p>I would give your essay 3-4. Probably 7.</p>