Can someone read/critique this short essay I just wrote?

Applying to College
1

I just wrote an essay to answer Princeton’s short answer topic: What talent, accomplishment, or pursuit has given you greatest joy or satisfaction?

Could I PM it to a couple of people here to critique my essay? Keep in mind that I tried to keep it as short as possible (it still turned out 330 words or so), so anything I don’t need tell me but it will be hard to elaborate on things unless others come out. I like it a lot more than hair essay, in my thread below. And I know I restate the question pretty much, in my last line of P1 so if someone could help me with another way to do this, that would be excellent…or if it’s good tell me too.

Thanks!

2

<p>You don't think applicants should write own essay? They do have an honor code. Although discussion is ok, what are you really asking for?</p>

3

<p>what i'm really asking for is for someone to read my essay in comparison with another one cos i am unsure which to send, i dont want people to write it for me..i hate it when people try and do that, but gen feedback (aka I liked it, i disliked it) was all i wanted. sheesh. i don't think asking someone to read your essay breaks the honor code...its still my work if someone tells me they liked it or not.</p>

4

<p>Yeah well. I'd do own essay if applying to P.</p>