Can someone tell me what they think of my common application short essay?

<p>My most meaningful activity this summer was my Eagle Scout project. The project, which proved to be a test of both my abilities as a leader and organizer, was the final requirement I had to fulfill in order to receive my Eagle Scout badge. My project, which had to benefit the community in some way, entailed rebuilding wooden partitions used weekly by the local homeless shelter. Although I began the project, which I estimated I would finish within a month, two years before it was due, and finished it the day before the project’s deadline, I don’t regret a single moment spent on the project. For every moment that I spent gathering donations, drawing up plans, and recruiting volunteers I can look back on fondly with the knowledge that I made a difference in someone’s life; which to me is worth much more than just a meager piece of fabric.</p>

<p>well,
i'll take a shot at it.</p>

<p>1)THe first sentence is boring, write something that will grab their attention from the very beginning.
2)how was the project a test of your abilities as a leder and organizer? and show it, dont tell it.
3)also, maybe you dont want to say that you though you would finish your project in a month, i dont know much about boy scouts, but isn't the project supposed to take like forever? maybe you should highlight that you spent two years on yours, like to show that you're dedicated. (i dunno though, dont lie)
4)the ending is trite.</p>

<p>hope that helped!</p>

<p>in response to woohoo's review
1) It is boring, but it IS ONLY the short answer, so I don't know how exciting you can make it.
2) yes, show not tell! and woohoo, you spelled "leder" wrong :p
3) "Although I began the project, which I estimated I would finish within a month, two years before it was due, and finished it the day before the project’s deadline" -- I had to read over this phrase several times to actually understand what you meant.
4) the "made a difference" part is trite, but I think the "meager piece of fabric" part is okay -- or maybe I just have lower standards than woohoo.. 0_o</p>

<p>My most meaningful activity this summer was my Eagle Scout project. (wow...boring, restating the prompt like that hurts)
The project, which proved to be a test of both my abilities as a leader and organizer, was the final requirement I had to fulfill in order to receive my Eagle Scout badge. (We all know. Colleges know that)</p>

<p>My project, which had to benefit the community in some way, (get on with it, cut this out) entailed rebuilding wooden partitions used weekly (don't need the weekly) by the local homeless shelter. </p>

<p>Although I began the project, which I estimated I would finish within a month, two years before it was due, and finished it the day before the project’s deadline, I don’t regret a single moment spent on the project. (so it took you that month or that two years? don't be coy)</p>

<p>For every moment that I spent gathering donations, drawing up plans, and recruiting volunteers (comma) I can look back on fondly with the knowledge that I made a difference in someone’s life; which to me is worth much more than just (delete just, you have meager) a meager piece of fabric.</p>

<p>Err...wow. First draft dear? Cut out background, tell me how you did the donations, plans, anything that shows me how dedicated you are. Don't overword it, just state it simply. If you can embellish vocab or a couple metaphors go for it but don't spend 100 characters telling me how long it took you.</p>

<p>yes,
i have trouble spelling. lol, and i dont read over my posts before i post them.
which is why i'm bad at editing. haha.</p>

<p>I made a few revisions
Eleven years of emergency conditioning, rescue training, and trailblazing all led up to this, the zenith of my scouting career; my Eagle project. In order to receive my Eagle Scout badge I had demonstrate my abilities as a scout by planning, financing, and directing a project for the benefit of my community. The planning, which entailed signature gathering and supply estimating was the easiest part, financing however, was a different matter. My project, which entailed completely rebuilding wooden partitions used by a local homeless shelter, took seven months of cup shaking to fund. Directing the project was hands down the highest hurdle to jump; for it meant transforming over thirty friends and family members into expert carpenters and painters. Although at times it seemed like I would never finish my project, which took me over two years to complete, I don’t regret a single moment I spent on it.</p>

<p>what else does it need?</p>