Can u grade my essay?

<p>The assignment is :
Is an Idealistic approach less valuable than a practical approach? </p>

<p>it would be great if someone can judge it^^many thanks</p>

<p>An idealist is hopelessly: if he was thrown out of his heaven, he will make an ideal hell. This is what Nietzsche told us. An idealistic approach, which blueprints the bright outlook with hope in mind, also has this trait. An idealistic approach, hence, is never less valuable than a practical approach. The founding of the United States and the paintings of Van Gogh, all illustrated the magnificent merit of the idealistic approaches.
In the movie The Shawshank Redemption, Andy Dufresne, a successful young banker who is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover despite his claims of innocence, is a daring man that ultimately succeeded by an idealistic approach. The circumstance in Shawshank prison is dark and gloomy: New prisoner is frequently threatened and bullied; the relationship among inmates is rotten; the wardenry is viperous and greedy. Most of the prisoners, like Brooks and Red, hope to receive a parole, which is the only practical method to regain freedom. Andy, nevertheless, always bears in mind that “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best thing in life, and no good things ever dies”. Life in Shawshank is much tale of misery, but for Andy, it still shots through with flashes of hope. So no matter how idealistic it seems to be, he spends two decades digging a hole, and successfully escapes from the hell. Andy’s escape from the prison, which is an idealistic way, is much more successful and remarkable than waiting till receiving a parole to get out.
An idealistic approach can rise from the wasteland, while a practical one can only be based on the current situation. Born from the ruins, by idealistic method, the great men in art field had left us opulent treasures.
Vincent van Gogh, poor in his real life but rich in his masterwork, is a brave man who insisted unwaveringly in an idealistic approach. In that period, the work of impressionism which concentrates on perspective and physical accuracy was highly commended. Artist who drew a painting resembled that of Monai was considered popular and acceptable. However van Gogh thought paintings should reflect the rural culture in which he was living. He used bright colors to demonstrate landscapes and scenes of country life. Despite rarely did people buy his work, he poured all his hope and power of life into his painting. Vincent Van Gogh abandoned the way and the objects that common artist used to illustrate and developed a taste for personalized brushwork and brilliant, unmixed colors. He devoted the whole life to his paintings, which were eventually recognized posthumously. The masterpieces of van Gogh are undeniably among the most valuable paintings, fascinating people all the time.
The difference between an idealistic approach and a practical one is that the former first sets up a goal, and then go for it with determination and perseverance; while the latter adapts to the reality to search the most effective way to advance. The fruit of idealism, containing sweats and blood, joy and sorrow, trails and errors, frustration and anticipation, shall never lost it endurable value.</p>

<p>8/12</p>

<p>I believe this essay to be severely unorganized. </p>

<p>You went too deep with your examples that you’re losing me as a reader. As a confession, I didn’t even read the whole thing. I read your intro, a few sentences into your 1st example, and your conclusion. Nothing impressed me and I even ran into quite a number of obvious errors: spotted one in the first sentence- big turn-off.</p>

<p>Don’t wander off-topic with your examples and make your thesis clear and obvious to detect. Also lower down the richness in your writing. You have many complex sentences that do not directly support each other. You forced me to imply this and that and made me give unnecessarily greater efforts in trying to follow your argument.</p>

<p>That being said, it’s an 8/12. Your quality of writing is at least a 10, but you need to work on making things apparent for your essay graders. Trust me, they don’t give more of a dam than I do. Fact.</p>

<p>Many thanks ~i’ll improve that</p>