Grade my SAT essay please?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Can you guys please give me a score out of 12 on the SAT essay? This is a practice one I did.
Also I filled up both front and back in 25 minutes. You don't have to be nice, just be honest.
This is my first ever essay I've written for the SATs and I have the SATs coming up in 9 or 10 days.</p>

<p>PROMPT:</p>

<p>Idealistic people, people who pursue great ideas in hopes of changing the world, often have ambitious plans that are difficult or even impossible to carry out. These people can claim few solid accomplishments. In contrast, practical people concentrate on workable ideas and goals, even though these may not meet an idealist’s high standards. Their approach is likely to be more valuable than the approach of idealistic people.</p>

<p>ASSIGNMENT:</p>

<p>Is an idealistic approach less valuable than a practical approach? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>MY ESSAY:</p>

<pre><code> A poet named Robert Frost once said "You can only change the course of the future so much." This adds on to the fact of idealistic people. Changing the world takes decades, even centuries. Practical people see from their eyes a realistic approach they can take. There have been many practical approaches done. Some have been exemplified by Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, and Jackie Robinson.

For example, a huge Civil Rights Activist named Martin Luther King Jr. knew what he could do and what he couldn't. King knew for a fact that segregation and the racism towards colored people was not going to disappear overnight. Instead of being an idealistic person, he became a practical person. MLK had workable ideas and goals that he implemented on the American Society. For example, he did boycotts of certain things. King knew that if the boycotts were successful that he would be one step closer to his ultimate dream. It would be absurd for King or anyone to think that a boycott or any act would automatically change the discriminatory ways of many people.

Another person who exemplifies a persona of being practical is Gandhi. Gandhi implemented new ideas into people's heads. Instead of always fighting back and using violence whenever you got mad or when you were in a conflict, Gandhi brought about something else. He brought to the world a way that no bloodshed would occur. Gandhi brought peace to the world. Through his actions and extreme discipline he exemplified many acts of nonviolence. People learned that you could take the high way and just talk things out, instead of causing bloodshed.

Another excellent example of someone who show practical thinking is Jackie Robinson. Jackie changed baseball forever, but at the beginning, he just wanted to play baseball. Robinson loved the game of baseball and wanted to play it. He was a very skilled player, but was still harassed. He was the first black person to play in professional baseball. His idea and goal was for him to play professional baseball. Little did he know, he would change the game over. Jackie singlehandedly broke the color barrier himself.

It shows that with practical ideas and goals, one can eventually change the world. One can't hit a grand slam with only one person on the bases. First, you have to get someone on first, second, and third base and then you have a shot at hitting a grand slam.
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<p>*You can tell me what I could've done better and stuff.
*Thanks for reading!! I really appreciate it!</p>

2

<p>I’ll give you at least 10 (out of 12).</p>

<p>Examples are good.</p>

<p>You should make your sentences more diverse.</p>

3

<p>Could you score my essay out of 12 as well?
Topic:Can what we value be determined only by what we sacrifice?
I agree with the motion that what we value can be determined only by what we sacrifice. Before I state my arguments, we have to understand that we as a species, tend to look for the easy way out when we are given a task to complete. In other words we are very lazy. This laziness often clouds our justice and causes us to do things we would not have done if there was something on the line. This just goes to prove the fact that we perform better when the stakes are higher. The world we live in consists of undeniable corruption on all levels of its infrastructure. Honest people find it hard to make a living, and in some extreme cases are subject to prosecution just because they did not want the unjust to go around with a broad smile on their faces. In the ensuing paragraphs I will attempt to elaborate on how this phenomena exists in our society by the adept use of personal anecdotes along with instances that have occurred in our society.
Last year, I had to encounter the dreaded Cambridge O’ Level examinations. My father had been a studious young man who had successfully tackled these tests and had proven him self a talented candidate. Now I was being pressurized to follow in his footsteps. My exam was in two weeks time and I had barely started studying. I was far from concerned, and was more interested in the patterns formed by clouds than in my studying. I used to play video games and watch television for most of the day and would talk over the telephone just to waste time. It was then when my father decided to take away all of my luxurious past times (given my test scores). At first I was outraged, I felt uneasy and light headed at the thought of having to study for more than an hour a day. I argued over this incident for two days. When it finally occurred to me that I would not get my entertainment back, I truly began to study. My attention span increased, and in a matter of days my test scores improved. I finally gave my O’ Level exams and was not so surprised to see that I had passed with flying colors. I gave up my entertainment and my social life to study hard for my exams, and in the end I succeeded in maintaining the good name of my father.
Now I will explain how sacrifices are made in our society. Recently, a huge scandal involving the Bank of Scotland was uncovered. It was revealed that three regional managers were proven guilty of stealing and transferring funds from customers. Over a period of two years they had successfully stolen over 1.75% of the bank’s total influx of funds. As heinous a crime as it seems, a lesson is to be learned from it. These thieves were uncovered and publicly revealed by none other than the Bank of Scotland itself, which stated that the only thing that it values as a firm, are the customers. They sacrificed their own good name and lost potential clients, just because they cared about honesty and the thoughts of the customers. They also returned (in full) the sums of money that had been stolen (which put them in loss) to their clients. And although it was predicted that clients would stop funding the bank. Funding and revenue actually increased, because the ordinary citizens saw honesty and morals and continued to fund them.
All in all I believe that I have firmly established the fact that people often sacrifice things for what they value. It is a truth that has to be accepted by our society on all levels.</p>