<p>Can you give me some constructive criticism and please grade my two essays? I'm an international student who got a 4/12 on the essay (I took the SAT this December). My overall score was 2060 (720 CR and 740 Math), but my writing score was really low (600), mostly because of the essay. So now I'm practicing and doing one essay every day.</p>
<p>Essay 1 - does imitation demonstrate a sluggish imagination?</p>
<pre><code> Many people believe that imitation is something that only unimaginative, talentless people do, because they do not have ideas of their own. This is far from the truth.
In the Renaissance, it was considered tasteful to emulate the works of ancient masters, like Homer or Virgil. Artists from this time (such as Rafael Sanzio, Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo) produced beautiful, inspired paintings, sculptures and literature derived from imitation of Greco-Roman art. It is important to add that they did not blindly imitate what was already there; on the contrary, they maintained some aspects while altering others, coming up with works of art that were in some ways better than the original.
The process of writing also has a lot to do with imitation. How does one learn how to write? By reading. Through reading, one can incorporate, without realizing, an author’s style and vocabulary. Our writing is greatly influenced by the books we have read. By imitating the style of many different authors, you create your own personal style. Early writings from Victor Hugo show a definite relation to Chateaubriand. Later, he developed an original style, but this was only possible because he had, in the beginning, imitated and incorporated the work of a renowned writer. Hugo was perhaps the best French author, and very few people would argue that he was unimaginative, and his works, hackneyed. However, even he imitated someone else.
I have been studying the piano for years, and my teacher always recommended that I listened to many interpretations of famous pieces to assimilate certain aspects. Later, I would do my own interpretation based on what I had heard. Was I imitating? If I heard a musician do a certain section in staccato and I thought it sounded good, I did the same thing. By incorporating things from many interpretations and also adding things of my own, I created a personal version.
All learning involves imitation. In fact, the basis of art and science is replication, because we always start from where other people left off. True originality is very rare and difficult to achieve, and perhaps even undesirable. Imitation is not the sign of a poor imagination, although it might seem this way – it is a legitimate creation process that has been employed by everybody, even great artists, to produce great works of art. Of course, pure reproduction of someone else’s work should be avoided, and if employed too much, can in fact be indicative of a weak or sluggish imagination. The kind of imitation I am referring to, however, is different from mere reproduction: it is absorbing certain aspects of your models and creating something entirely new. This demonstrates intelligence, originality and creativity.
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<p>Essay 2 - Is it always best to determine one’s views of right and wrong, or can we benefit from following the crowd?</p>
<pre><code> Studying ethics in the modern era is something only a few people do, but if we want to avoid errors in judgment and unfortunate situations, we should take the time to distinguish between right and wrong. A moral conduct is an ideal forgotten nowadays, with more and more people giving little importance to how ethical their actions are. However, people should stop following the general consensus, and figuring out, on their own, what is ethical and what is not.
The end of World War II unveiled to the world the horrors of the Holocaust and the Nazi concentration camps. Amidst the general shock, a question stood out: Why did the German population not intervene? They certainly knew what was happening, for official government propaganda depicted Jewish people as pigs, and condemned homosexuals, gypsies and people with disabilities as inferior races. They heard Hitler say that Jews had to be eliminated to make room for the superior, “Aryan race”. Why, then, did nobody try do seriously put an end to this, but instead, quietly went along? The answer is simple. The population let the government dictate what was right and wrong, without questioning themselves. If they had, they would have known that the Nazi regime’s actions and speech were immoral. Rather than doing so, they just idly watched as the persecution worsened.
A (somewhat prophetic) book that also deals with this question is 1984, by George Orwell. It depicts a population that is completely alienated, and believes in every lie invented by the ruling party, personified by the fictitious character of Big Brother. There were some people, like the protagonist Wilson, who dared question the Party’s authority and claims, but they were invariably eliminated in time. A lesson we can extract from this novel is that following the crowd can be bad, because the crowd’s opinion is easily manipulated by a charismatic figure of authority. It is possible to notice that the public opinion changes immensely from generation to generation, and even on a day to day basis: at the beginning of the 20th century, abortion was something was considered by almost everyone to be a hideous act, but nowadays, most people would not condemn it under certain circumstances. Public opinion is very volatile, constantly changing, constantly being influenced by the means of communication and by charismatic, influential people (politicians, academics, scientists and even celebrities). Therefore, it is never trustworthy or consistent, and so it is best to follow your own convictions, based on your own values, rather than letting yourself be influenced by the opinion of the majority.
This is, of course, an arduous task, because one is always being pressured by others to accept the commonly held view, or to go with the common sense without questioning it. However, figuring out what is right and wrong by oneself is a rewarding endeavor and even a journey of self-discovery.
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<p>Thank you!</p>