Can you help me with my essay ?

<p>Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum). </p>

<p>1, 2, 3, 4… Do you feel a music inside you ? For myself it is turning continuously in my head, shivering my inner, and from the first time i took a guitare in my life, it never stops. Playing became in dribs and drabs needful. People talk about it like an extra curriculum activity, for me it is a romance. My progression was quicker than should be, and my courses, at first in groups of three or four, became a one to one. Weary of covers i did, i began to compose, and thanks to that, i evolved into a traveller, wandering in the perfect world i formed in my head. Alone, sad or happy, my guitare always supported me. My imagination make me feel i was living in a movie for the reason that my roams were always attended by the music i created, according to my humor. Congratulated by my highschool, i had the occasion to show, face to approximatively three hundred people, testing at last my level. Public acclamations, brought me the feeling of a winner wager, billions butterflies were tickling my interior.
(1012 caracters -_- )</p>

<p>Pretty good start. But I need to read your whole essay and see what it leads into. BTW, you have some run-on sentences. </p>

<p>PM me if you want me to comment on your whole essay. I am a very tough critique according to my daughter (and she is the editor-in-chief for her school newspaper).</p>

<p>BTW, what are you going to major in? Your extracurricular activities should reenforce your passion. If you want to major in Math, you should find a way to relate your music to math. :-)</p>