Can someone review my college essay?

<p>Hello, I am new to College Confidential. I am sending in my college application by November 15th, and I am having a few doubts with my college essay . Could someone please read it and let me know if I need a few revisions, or scrap the essay and start over. Thank you for your time:)</p>

<pre><code> When I walk through the threshold of this room, I am immediately drawn back by the myriad of items scattered throughout the premises. Drums, mallets, and bells line the back wall like a drum line marching in a parade. Chairs and music stands are aligned in curved rows with a great amount of precision and detail. The lockers on the wall are filled with instruments lying in their cases, waiting to be played by musically inclined students. Tables throughout the room are piled high with classical, modern, and contemporary styles of sheet music, some piles almost reaching three feet in height. Here is where art is created, where music flows through my veins and makes my heart beat to the rhythm of a song. This is where I uncontrollably shiver when the music reaches the climax of a song, where like minded students can join together through harmony and passion for music.

It’s the truth, my high school band room provides me with a place where I can feel perfectly content. No, it’s not a traditional teenage sanctuary, but I am not a normal teen; I don’t fit the mold that many others follow. I don’t listen to the music of Eminem, Taylor Swift, or Lady Gaga. I’d rather spend my nights lost in the sounds of Mozart, Holst, Hanz, or Whitacre, listening in complete awe of the talent and skill needed to create music from the black dots and lines on a piece of paper.

The band room has always been there for me, a constant in my life that I know I can turn to. In this room, this special room that I can leave all my stresses at is where I discovered the beauty of creating music. In that moment, I knew I had found something I could use to help me get through the tough demands of school and life. Sitting in my chair in the band room, I feel most at peace with myself and the world. Playing my clarinet provides a time during the day where I can relieve all the stresses of the day, each one released as the notes leave my clarinet. With each rhythm, I get more and more lost in the music, forgetting everything I have to accomplish that day and just focusing on that one task. It might sound crazy to some, but I feel that music has helped me get through so much in my life, in a different way than any human could help.

When I am in the band room, there are no set rules to follow, but rather I can make my own interpretations and still be correct. It’s where I am allowed to express myself in ways that other classes don’t provide. Like minded students join together in one room for 40 minutes a day, where no one is an outcast and everyone has the same appreciation for art. I feel like I belong, which is hard to say in high school when all you try to do is fit in. I am constantly called a “band nerd”, but I no longer mind that title. I’m proud of who I am, and I hope people continue to call me one.
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<p>@jeanster7 I enjoyed your essay. I sent you a PM with some edits for your consideration.</p>

<p>Thank you so much for the help! I appreciate the time you took to revise my paper.
I never even knew what passive voice was until you mentioned it in the critique. After looking up exactly what it was on Google, I now understand what it is and why I write that way. I have a heavy course load of science classes that involve creating lab write-ups, and a couple Google searches told me that passive voice is used when writing them. I guess writing this way for so long has transferred to my everyday writing as well.<br>
Thank you so much for pointing this out, and thank you again for your time. @HereToHelpYou</p>

<p>@jeanster7 you’re welcome and good luck.</p>