Can you please grade my essay? First time ever writing a practice one

Prompt - Is success the result of being extremely competitive?

Although many people believe success is a result of talent or utter luck, they are wrong; success is the result of being extremely competitive. It easier to just identify someone who is successful, rather than having to understand what characteristic helped them achieve their success. There are many examples of prominent political figures, athletes and even regular people that have achieved success through their perseverance and competitiveness.

Michael Jordan once said: “I’ve always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come.” He himself, was a wonderful example of how someone could go from “zero” to “hero” by being competitive and simply wanting success more than others. Michael didn’t make his high school basketball team in his sophomore year, the school’s coach had decided to cut Michael in favor of some taller and stronger kid. Jordan worked relentless hours in the gym over the next months, always being the last one to leave the gym. Jordan’s new found competitiveness was a result of his hard work and his newly discovered desire to succeed. The following year, Jordan made his basketball team and later went on to become one of the greatest basketball players in the history of the sport. Michael’s teammates were shocked at how competitive he was, he never backed down and always played liked his life was on the line. It is hard to imagine where Michael would be right now and how his career would have been shaped if he hadn’t developed this crucial skill.

In the book, “Pursuit of Happiness”, the main character is a homeless father who must look after his young boy. This true story shows how success correlates with the ever so important trait of competitiveness. The father was homeless,unemployed and unmotivated, but fortunately his circumstances put him in a position to fight for his life. He realized that if he didn’t do anything, he and his son would die. The father spent all his evenings dedicated to studying, while other people were relaxing, he was trying his best to learn as much as he possibly could. In the end, having beat all the adversity, he received a job at a very prestigious business firm. His inner drive for success was fueled by his extreme competitiveness and dedication to achieving his goals.

Success is a like a door, you need a key to open that door and the only key that will unlock the door is being extremely competitive. Although, others may tell you that they opened the door to success with talent or luck, they just happened to stumble across a perfectly eroded key, that just happened to fit. There are many paths to success, but the most proven and likely to get you to your destination is the path of being extremely competitive.