Can You Please Grade My Essay? (sat)

<p>Every important discovery results from patience, perseverance, and concentration--sometimes continuing for months or years--on one specific subject. A person who wants to discover a new truth must remain absorbed by that one subject, must pay no attention to any thought that is unrelated to the problem. </p>

<p>Adapted from Santiago Ramon Cajal, Advice for a Young Investigator </p>

<p>Assignment: Are all important discoveries the result of focusing on one subject? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading</p>

<pre><code> Focus is essential for a person to get what they want. A person's mind must be completely absorbed in the subject in which a person wants to succeed in. A person's mind must be in full concentration and should keep his or her goal within his or her grasp. There are no shortcuts-every little bit of focus must be used. This is the only way to succeed. Therefore, all important discoveries are the result of focusing on one subject.

My father only achieved his goal (of owning his own art company) by only thinking about art, and how he was going to thrive in that subject. Starting in high school, my father set his mind to completing his long term goal. To his peers, the fact that my father loved art was blatant. After countless nights of practicing, my father reached his full potential (10 years later), to produce his own company. If his mind lingered toward some other subject, he might not have been the very successful man he is today. Along the way, my father made an important discovery. It was that he had talent in clothes designing. This important discovery is a result of focusing his mind one one subject, and one subject only.

Christopher Columbus, the world famous sailor, the discoverer of North and South America, found the Americas only by having his mind comsumed by one subject. If he hadn't gotten the King and Queen of Span's money, he would have not discovered this continent we are living on. Basically, he set his mind to trying to travel around the globe, and it resulted him in discovering America.

Detectives must always concentrate on one case (subject, in this case), before they can find clues which lead to discoveries (finding the culprit). Instead of incarcerating every single suspect, a detective must narrow the suspects down using a series of clues. Clues are only found if every sense of the body is used in trying to find something unusual. If any sense is delayed in perception, an important clue might be overlooked. When one subject is interfered with by another subject, people aren't doing their best.

Instead of two, if a person focuses on one subject, the person will have less to think about. Any person usually has stress from having too many things on his or her mind. He or she should focus on only one long term goal. My father, Christopher Columbus, and detectives all had their minds set on one single subject. They all succeeded as a result of diligently thriving on one subject.
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<p>My son's essay. (8th grader)
The scorers scored it as a 10 (both scorers gave him a 5)</p>

<p>isnt it already graded...? </p>

<p>he got a 10..</p>

<p>Do you want to know why this essay got a 5, and what he could do to improve to a 6?</p>

<p>I think he was pretty lucky. Though it was definitely in the 4 to 5 range. A few things didn't quite make sense, and some of the word choices weren't quite right, but it was decently organized. What was his writing section score overall?</p>

<p>I heard that they don't count the grammar on the essays as much. The scorers realize that only 25 minutes are alloted.
But ANYWAY, he received a 660. (Realizing that he made careless mistakes, he says he could've gotten a 700.)</p>

<p>seems like you want us to praise your son. or else what is the point of grading a graded paper. well, if you are desperate, congrats</p>

<p>I didn't think it was that insightful, i woulda gave it a 4 lol. but anyway he's an 8th grader it doesn't matter.</p>

<p>...I agree with stupak. I would've given it a 4. It wasn't insightful, the word choice was lousy (only...only...only...) and the ideas did not blend. It was flat and boring and he should use examples that interest the reader, not just examples that fill up another paragraph.</p>

<p>Sentence structure was not too hot either. From the introduction onwards I noticed it was very choppy. He needs to vary his sentence length..</p>

<p>As for the conclusion..it's like any other normal conclusion. It says exactly what the introduction tells us - only except it has no twist to it. </p>

<p>A good essay leaves the reader pondering. This one leaves the reader dying of boredom.</p>

<p>I wrote from this exact same essay prompt and got a 10. I think that's about right for this one as well, or perhaps a 9. Maybe a 4 and a 5. It's just not very careful in its word choice sometimes. It's also a bit choppy. His style will improve over time. The SAT essay is mostly about a.) Having a strong opening and b.) Length. He has those alright; his quality of examples and style will earn him a 10+</p>

<pre><code> That being said, why are you so worried about your 8th grade child getting a 10 and not a 12? The best writer I know who has thus taken the SAT only got an 8. Your son is obviously an outstanding writer if he got a 10 as an 8th grader. Don't worry, he will get better over time. If he can get a 10 now, he should have no trouble with a 12 later.

More impotantly is the composite, overall Writing score. Colleges don't care about the indiviual essay score (10), but rather the overall score (660). Focus on the multiple choice if you worry about anything, which you shouldn't. Good luck to you and your son!
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<p>I would give the essay a 4. The writing is choppy and the word choice is poor/repetitive.</p>

<p>Starting out this generally isn't good.. be precise..</p>

<p>8-9...akward at points, odd word choice, and overall writing isn't very styled (choppy; parentheses).</p>

<p>Length is not important, in itself.
The intro is not that important. In fact, in the essay grader training, graders are told to give each essay time to develop, because many essays start shaky but the quality of the writing improves.
The most important factors are:
-The level of understanding conveyed by the thesis
-The logic of the supporting argument
-The development of the examples
Last of all, mechanics.
Other factors usually only determine the difference between a high 4, solid 4, or low 4 (or any other score range), unless the essay is really on the fence between two score bands.</p>

<p>I disagree about length....the more you write, the higher the score. Of course you can't restate what you've already said, but it has to be vital to the essay. Trust me...length is worth more than you think.</p>

<p>Graders and Master Graders for the Pearson company (that scores the essay) disagree with you. The fact is, length matters a lot less than you think.
I can show you fairly short essays that got 6/6, and I have many essays to back up my assertion. And I also have plenty of examples of people filling the space and getting 3's. These are not only scored SAT essays, but those which are used to train the graders.
It's true that it is difficult for most people to be concise and fit all their ideas and support into a couple hundred words.
But it is absolutely not length, but development that is key. It is the quality of the support that matters, not the number of words.
Obviously, you can't support your point in three lines. But I would hope we are only talking about upper-half essays here (4-6 range).
Everyone is welcome to their opinion, but then again, it's what the actual graders think that really counts. You can't argue with the grades they give your essay!</p>

<p>More Length in the essay = more development</p>

<p>Excel you are wrong. It can just be more rambling of the same ideas without conveying anything new or of essence to the subject.</p>

<p>I did not say rambling...I was refering to the length. The more you have written would mean that you automatically developed more.</p>

<p>My thesis is "I should be allowed to go to the Van Halen concert instead of studying for that chemistry test".
Here is my support, version 1:
I love rock and roll.
Here is my support, version 2:
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.
I love rock and roll.</p>

<p>Anyone think version 2 is going to get a higher score? :-)</p>

<p>Well you can't dance around the EXACT same thing, but if you use similar statements to get your point across, it's ok.</p>