<p>It's been awhile since I've written an essay (military has me hung up) but I wasn't as bad in high school...sooo Im really looking for critiques...don't be scared to hurt my feelings! =) am i straying too far off subject? is my tone too relaxed? THANKS A LOT!
some of the font might be a little messed up.... so bare with me ill try to fix it
the paragraphs arent coming in right either...i can email it to you if that would be easier</p>
<pre><code> "You want to do what?! I let you join the Air Force, but I didn't expect you to jump up and down when they asked for volunteers for Iraq!"
Much to say the least, my dad was pretty upset when I told him his five foot three baby girl volunteered to go to war in Iraq. A few months earlier word had spread that they were going to be sending troops from Mountain Home Air Force Base to Iraq in January, but this isn't an ordinary deployment, this is going to be a massive rotation. Everybody on base acted normal, they are used to working under pressure and ready to leave in a moment's notice.
</code></pre>
<p>Ever since I was a child my parents have showered me with gifts and I was very appreciative of their generosity. As a junior in high school, I decided to join the U.S. Air Force after graduation for the educational benefits. I wanted to find a way to show my parents how important I thought education was and so I decided to pay for college myself - of course it would cost me four years in the military. I wasn't very patriotic then and the national anthem was just a song we had to memorize in a school play. I always wondered why people would take off their hats or why my grandfather would get a tear in his eye every time he heard " and theee hoooome oooof theee braaaave." It never occurred to me that the Star Spangled Banner represented more than a love and respect for this country, but a passion for the red, white, and blue.
When I first volunteered to go to Iraq, my line of supervisors said that I wouldn't be able to go due to pending orders I had already accepted. I asked them if I could deny the orders in exchange to be sent to the desert. My supervisors warned me that people would probably think I was crazy for doing so. They trusted my decision was neither for world-glory nor money, but for a personal reason. The papers were signed and my spot to be deployed was reserved.<br>
My supervisors weren't kidding when they said people would think I was "crazy" for volunteering to go to war. The Air Force instills three core values into every airman from day one: integrity first, service before self, and excellence in all we do. I take those values to heart and if I could take the place of a fellow wingman that would rather be at home with his or her children, than I would. The military is a great way of life, but the separation from family is unbearable for some.<br>
Knowing that Im allowing a mother and child a few more months together brings a smile to my face, but it doesnt stop me from being scared of the dangers waiting in Iraq. I always keep in mind that danger is everywhere and it comes in all shapes and forms; however, we can either truly live for something we passionately believe in, or we can hide in the shadows of those that live for the passions that give them remarkable and unforgettable lives. When a person feels so much passion towards something that they genuinely love, fear of danger is what will separate conquerors from failures.
My passion is the love of this nation and through the many diverse characteristics that each individual has, it's enriching to know that the national anthem is a tune we can all carry. And though it may take some of us sixteen years to finally value the true significance of it, it'll come around, and when it does, it will be our pride factor for being an American. Look around and count the red, white, and blue flags hung proudly from grandparents' homes to law firms. Count the yellow ribbons on the many soccer mom mini-vans to the movie stars' luxury cars. These are the things that make it easy for me to walk in these boots day to day with my head held high. The passion that I feel for this country and the love that I feel from my fellow Americans is what makes it easy for me to volunteer to go to war in Iraq.</p>
<p>Great essay topic. I think the tone is good as well. There were a couple sentences that seemed awkward- its kind of difficult to edit them specifically in this format- but other than that, it looks pretty good.</p>
<p>
[quote]
"You want to do what?! I let you join the Air Force, but I didn't expect you to jump up and down when they asked for volunteers for Iraq!"</p>
<p><a href="Much%20%3C-%20take%20this%20out">b</a> T*o say the least, my dad was pretty upset when I told him his **five-foot-three* baby girl volunteered to go to war in Iraq. A few months earlier word had spread that they were going to send troops from Mountain Home Air Force Base to Iraq in January, but this isn't an ordinary deployment, this is going to be a massive rotation. Everybody on base acted normally; they*'re* used to working under pressure and are always ready to leave in a moment's notice.
Ever since I was a child*,* my parents have showered me with gifts*; (and < - take this out)* I was very appreciative of their generosity. As a junior in high school, I decided to join the U.S. Air Force after graduation for the educational benefits. I wanted to find a way to show my parents how important I thought education was and so I decided to pay for college myself*. And I did, with four years of my life.* I wasn't very patriotic then*,* and the national anthem was just a song we had to memorize for school. I always wondered why people would take off their hats or why my grandfather would get a tear in his eye every time he heard " and theee hoooome oooof theee braaaave." It never occurred to me that the Star Spangled Banner represented more than a love and respect for this country, but also a passion for the red, white, and blue.
When I first volunteered to go to Iraq, my line of supervisors said that I wouldn't be able to go due to pending orders that I had already accepted. I asked them if I could deny the orders in order to be sent to the desert. They warned me that people would probably think I was crazy for doing so. They made a judgement call, and **trusted **that my decision was neither for world-glory nor for money, but for a personal reason. They signed the papers and reserved my deployment spot.
My supervisors weren't kidding when they said people would think I was "crazy" for volunteering to go to war. The Air Force instills three core values into every airman from day one: integrity first, service before self, and excellence in all we do. I take those values to heart and if I could take the place of a fellow wingman that would rather be at home with his or her children, then I would. And I did. The military is a great way of life, but the separation from family is unbearable for some.
Knowing that Im allowing a mother and child a few more months together brings a smile to my face, but it doesnt stop me from being scared of the dangers waiting in Iraq. I always keep in mind that danger is everywhere and it comes in all shapes and forms; however, we can either truly live for something we passionately believe in, or we can hide in the shadows of those that live for the passions that give them remarkable and unforgettable lives. When a person feels so much passion towards something that they genuinely love, fear of danger is what will separate conquerors from failures (I think this word is not what you're looking for. Maybe cowards? This is just my opinion). I love ** this nation and ** I find it enriching to know that, through the many diverse characteristics that each individual has, the national anthem is a tune we can all carry. And though it may take some of us sixteen years to finally value the true significance of it, it'll come around, and when it does, it will be our pride factor (I don't know what you want to say with these words) for being an American. Look around and count the red, white, and blue flags hanging proudly from grandparents' homes to law firms. Count the yellow ribbons on the many soccer mom mini-vans to the movie stars' luxury cars. These are the things that make it easy for me to walk in these boots day to day with my head held high. The passion that I feel for this country and the love that I feel from my fellow Americans is what makes it easy for me to volunteer for Iraq.