<p>I really want to share my personal statement with everyone, this is truly my life.</p>
<p>I'm Putting a lot of weight on my personal statement. I have a 3.7 UW GPA, 1700 SAT score and have been an MC/Spoken word artist for all of my years in high school, I am a two time slam champion. I volunteer at Children's Hospital. Last but not least I work at science museum. I've taken every AP class offered at my school and have a B or higher in the class. </p>
<p>Does anyone wanna hear it, and then tell me their opinion??</p>
<p>From as young as 8 years old, I lived on and off with each parent due in large part to my parent’s tumultuous and unpredictable relationship. This was not easy but I learned to adapt. It was in my junior year of high school when things fell apart. </p>
<p>We moved into a small bungalow; this would be our fourth move in just two years. This time my mom brought her boyfriend who helped pay the rent and I had my own room. Around the same time, I found a part-time job at the a science museum where I worked Wednesday and Thursday from 5-9 pm and on Saturday from 9-5. This supported my own expenses as my mom could no longer pay for my needs. After work I forced myself to stay awake until the early hours of the morning, studying for exams and finishing homework. </p>
<p>During mid-April things shifted for the worse. I remember rising from my desk chair during one of my gruesome study sessions and noticing a pipe on the kitchen counter. My sister’s words returned to meshe told me my mom was doing drugs, but I was in denial. As the weeks progressed I saw dramatic changes in my mom. She started hallucinating, following me around and claiming that someone was spying on her and that her boyfriend was secretly trying to kill her. Days later, I noticed the same pipe that I had convinced myself was not hers, in her purse wrapped in a white paper towel. Terror filled my bodymy mom was addicted to crack. I began avoiding home, working more or hanging out more with friends. It did not work to escape the pain I felt. The dark circles under her eyes and the way she looked at me was proof I would never escape it. </p>
<p>In the midst of it all, I tried to focus on school. I got up every morning with my conscience filled with remorse. I was my mother’s child, so why would she do this to me? I worried endlessly while at school. I was not able to concentrate on anything and it began reflecting in my schoolwork. At home, I knew things would not end well as I could no longer reason with my mother. Things erupted when one morning she took my phone and laptop and began accusing me of helping her boyfriend spy on her. She locked the front door and told me I could not leave until I told her everything. I was terrified and could no longer recognize my own mother. My aunt finally came and called my dad to pick me up. </p>
<p>My mother ended up in the hospital at which point she realized she needed to stop her drug use. I continued to live with my dad and used him and my dreams as motivation to never give up. When things got difficult, I used poetry to overcome the emotions trapped within. I wrote and performed about my story and through this, coped with the pain and learned to forgive my mother. My hardships taught me many lessons including that regardless of how hard, I must always persevere to the end. I learned that things always get better and it’s a person’s perspective and determination that can change the direction of a circumstance, no matter how unfortunate. </p>
<p>I seek to become a journalist, to capture people’s stories, stories that others are too scared to tell or stories that do not have authors, and make others aware of young people’s struggles. When I got involved with poetry, I learned how important it was to use my voice and that through it, I am able to speak for others who might be consumed by silence. My mother’s addiction has showed me that anything is possible; through every sleepless night I always saw the light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>^ No a story can’t you into college. GPA + SATs give you a chance, personal statement will accept or reject you.</p>
<p>As your your personal statement, it’s too much of a rant about your life. It needs more structure and focus. Some overarching concepts or themes or something.</p>
<p>your essay is too much storytelling. the entire essay needs to focus on YOU and how you seized certain opportunities and/or changed as a person. it definitely might be a strong topic if approached properly, but remember that a lot of applicants have similar stories of their hardships.</p>
thank you!!</p>