Can't decide between two essays

<p>I have two essays, one of which I am going to send to all of my colleges (Princeton, Yale, Duke, CMU, Penn). </p>

<p>-Essay about passion for science
-Essay about how karate has taught me to persevere and work hard</p>

<p>My focus is definitely science, I have won awards in science, my recs have a science spin (1 science teacher, 1 math prof, and 1 mentor while only 1 english teacher), and I've done other science stuff like start a Science Research Club and go to RSI. The problem is that the science essay is slightly clich</p>

<p>the karate one.</p>

<p>Karate. Definitely.</p>

<p>How come?</p>

<p>(10 char)</p>

<p>a lot of other people have science-related essays.</p>

<p>i don`t know, karate does sound more appealing to me.</p>

<p>two reasons</p>

<ol>
<li>well written (according to you)</li>
<li>its not as cliche as the science one.</li>
</ol>

<p>It really depends on how they're written. If you say the karate one, go for it.</p>

<p>So are you saying the essay stands by itself in the admissions process? If that is true, it's karate hands down. If it needs to align with the passions hinted at by your ECs and stuff, then that's where the question arises.</p>

<p>It's good if it aligns, but if the other essay is superior, you simply need to use it.</p>

<p>Passion for science the colleges can get from your awards. Go with the karate to show a different perspective.</p>

<p>I don't have an opinion for you, other than don't trust the other opinions on here. You have huge accomplishments in science, accomplishments that most people on here can't relate to. I think it would be hard for any of these to justify why you should or shouldn't further exemplify your passion for science. In principle the karate one may be better, as you will show them you are a human being that also lives and breathes (in addition to being a science whiz). </p>

<p>My opinion: ask your Mom, Dad, or someone that is really close to you (or a combination of those). See which one they think is more YOU.</p>

<p>My parents can't choose either lol. I asked some friends and they all say karate. The science one, I say, is more "me," based on the fact that I am a science guy. The basic premise is that "I used to suck, and I never won anything, but I was really passionate, and I just kept trying and trying, giving up sleep and parties and going out to dinner with friends to work, and now I finally won some stuff, and am good at science."</p>

<p>Ahh I really don't know.</p>

<p>Just my opinion - if the theoretically better-written essay about karate shows some of your traits or characteristics that are consistent with the picture of yourself that you are trying to give to the colleges, then it doesn't necessarily matter if the topic is a bit inconsistent. Although it is a good point that if the science essay relates things that are not mentioned elsewhere on your application, you'll want to find a way to include said things somehow.</p>

<p>The point of the essay is to show the admissions readers a side of you that they haven't seen before, to give flesh to the application. If you simply reiterate and support what's already been shown in the rest of your stats, awards and ECs, then what purpose does the essay serve? Are you trying to say that you're a science person through and through and that it's the only thing that defines you? Not just the you defined by your interests or grades, but the personal you. If so, then go with the science one; it'll only serve to reinforce that image of you. If you want to give them a truer glimpse at who you are, however, then go with the karate one. In the end, your application is an attempt to synthesize everything there is to know about you. To that end, including an essay about karate isn't at all incongruous as it will, depending on how the rest of your application is portrayed, fit in perfectly. If it doesn't, see if you can make the rest of your application more personal. Good luck.</p>

<p>Note: 17 instances of the word you! :)</p>