Cardinal’s Final Advice for UCLA/UCB Transfers

Transfer Students
1

<p>The same UC admission myths and irrelevant questions keep popping up, which makes me want to respond with sarcastic answers. Since I don’t like being mean, I will bow out of the transfer forum now and give you guys as much advice that I’ve gathered from going through process before I go.</p>

<li>Personal Statements</li>
</ol>

<p>From what I understand, personal statements are merely a tipping factor for borderline candidates. Problem is, even with the common data sets available, one cannot know if they are a borderline candidate or a shoe-in. Thus, I would suggest that no matter how qualified you think you are, that you approach the personal statements with as much attention and care as you can muster. If anything, it’ll give you an opportunity to reflect upon your time at your community college.</p>

<p>The prompts are available here:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/apply/pdf/APP0607_Form_Transfer.pdf[/url]”>http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/apply/pdf/APP0607_Form_Transfer.pdf</a> (Scroll down to page seven)</p>

<p>Some general advice:</p>

<p>-A common idea perpetuated on these boards is that you can only have stellar college essays if you have stellar extracurriculars. I do agree that varied and involved extracurriculars will help you in writing essays but by no means are they a requisite to writing superb essays. I mean, you are not a bump on a log. You are a person with dreams, stories, and aspirations that no one else has. Just from this, you should be able to write a personal statement that will impress the admissions committees and put you over the edge. In short, I believe the trick is to write the personal statement that only you can write.
-Start as soon as possible. Preferably, now. The UC filing period (Nov 1-30) comes at a time when the quarter or semester is reaching a climax: papers due, finals to prepare for, and projects to complete. The last thing you would want is not enough time to write and or redraft your personal statements. I ended up finishing only one of the prompts over the summer but this saved my sanity come November because I got buried with ASG and schoolwork. Point being, even doing a little now will help you a lot later.
-Avoid the passive voice.
-Avoid clichéd phrases and buzzwords: ‘overcoming challenges’ etc.
-Avoid overlapping between your three personal statements. I failed in this regard, as there was considerable overlap between my three essays. If I had to do it again however, I would try to use each prompt to highlight a completely different experience or aspect about me.
-Get as many people to check your personal statements as possible. In particular, try to bring your personal statements to the English tutoring lab, transfer center, and English professors. I’m a former English major and English tutor, yet I had a multitude of simple mistakes in my essays. Getting others to check my essays helped me fix errors these basic errors like chose/choose and affect/effect. Though these minor mistakes would certainly not bar your admission, you want to give the reader the most favorable impression of you as possible. Of course, other people can also help hone the overall mechanics of your essay. In my case for example, I spent too much time bashing the stereotypical community college student. My English professor gave me the telling metaphor that chastising other runners as slow and lazy does not make one faster so why take the time to do it. Thus, he helped me refocus the direction of my essays.</p>

<p>Here are two links for some excellent examples of personal statements:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=92141[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=92141</a> (UCLA)</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=68138[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=68138</a> (Ivy Essays)</p>

<p>Here are my two shorter essays. Since my longer one is more personal, I will only PM it to people if you ask. </p>

<p>Potential to Contribute Essay-I think my essay does not really address the prompt all that well, if at all. Also, I feel I may have gone too deep into the extended metaphor:</p>

<p>Science fiction legend Isaac Asimov claims, “If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.” Most people upon hearing this quote scoff at its absurdity, as no one in their right mind would spend their last waking moments at a computer. Unlike these skeptics, I nodded in agreement. The notion that a writer dedicates his last moments of life for another creative endeavor makes sense, for it marks the passion that makes true writers feel alive. I too would utilize my final hours to hammer away at the keyboard, for I share Asimov’s infatuation for writing. This desire to create vivid stories by playing with words represents my underlying love for life. I am infatuated with the world and yearn to capture its beautiful essence. In effect, I am the writing equivalent of an impressionist painter. The varied disciplines I study during the course of my education, form the distinct colors of my literary palette. To paint the brightest story, I must dip my linguistic brush into all of these colorful pools. I add a dash of literary archetype there. I splotch on a psychological perspective around here. I dab on a classical philosophical argument over there. As I stroke my masterpiece on my blue-lined canvas, these different colors blend into a single colorful image, soothing to my eye. As the finished product draws from a full slate of colors, the holistic picture resounds with vibrant life. I find satisfaction in the depiction; my work is done. Never one for rest, I tear another canvas out of my binder and set off to imagine. </p>

<p>Open-ended Essay-I think this essay is way formulaic, boring and a bit pretentious:</p>

<p>As a student dedicated to both educational success and extracurricular participation, I knew I made prime target for the term ‘overachiever’. The term carries the connotation of a person committed to academics and school activities solely for the sake of personal advancement. Since I hold genuine reasons for my dedication, I strive to let my underlying passion for education and school spirit shine through my actions. On some days, for instance, no students would come in for biological psychology tutoring so I could spend my time doing homework. Instead, I chose to devote this spare time to draft assignments for students. Apparently my enthusiasm proved contagious, as the psychology chairwoman commented that the worksheets helped her students become eager to learn the material. Furthermore, although my role as Student Trustee lies exclusively in legislation and advocacy, I extended past the formal expectations of my position by helping out in events held by my student government’s activities board. In addition, I declined to participate in my school’s Student Development Transcript Program, as I felt asking faculty to sign off on meticulous time logs of my involvement would put into question the type of dedication I worked so hard to reveal. In the course of breaking collegiate expectations, I have established myself as a person of promise, character and leadership.</p>

2

<ol>
<li>Transfer Anxiety</li>
</ol>

<p>There is something inherently exciting about the transfer process: you do not know if you’re going to get admitted or not, you may go back and forth in deciding between several schools, and you are not sure what life will be like once you actually transfer. Oftentimes, this anticipation translates into an unhealthy anxiety, which is of course, only amplified by posting here on these boards. This may cause any number of things to happen:</p>

<p>-Continually comparing your GPA and ‘stats’ to those found in common data sets, or worse yet, the ‘stats’ of CCers already admitted. Though it’s nice to know where you stand, common data sets only list GPAs. Since UCs use a holistic approach to admissions (the comprehensive review), it is difficult to gauge your chances solely by looking at such information. For example, several of my friends were worried because they did not even meet the minimum GPA to apply to UCLA (3.25). Yet they had stellar extracurriculars and life stories, which most certainly helped them when they did end up gaining admission to UCLA. In short, do not think your GPA defines you as a student; your life is more than just a number on a four point scale. Furthermore, comparing your stats to previously admitted students on CC can only lead to feelings of inadequacy. This is CC people. These are the community college students with the motivation to garner all relevant knowledge regarding the transfer process. With this initiative, the ‘stats’ of these students are bound to be hopelessly inflated when compared to regular UCB/UCLA CC admits. So do not fret when you see that student-body president, 4.0 with TAP certified, runs a three-minute mile student. </p>

<p>-Participating in activities solely for the sake of putting it on your application, in the fear that you do not have enough extracurriculars to be competitive. I’ll be the first to admit that I participated in an extracurricular that I did not have 100% passion for (Student Government), just to show admissions committees that I was a well rounded student. In learning from my own experience, I would like to strongly advice the future transfer classes to avoid doing this. First of all, it’s detrimental to you because the activity will be boring and it’ll take away time from your true passions. Secondly, your work may come across as half-assed because it doesn’t truly engage your interest. And most of all, you are taking away a position from someone who perhaps hold genuine interest in that particular field or position. With this in mind, I would like to challenge the transfer class of 2009 and beyond to move away from application fluffing. From what I’ve seen, most of you have the ‘stats’ to be admitted into UCLA and UCB, so this is almost completely unnecessary. Truly, no one will care if you fork over seventy-five dollars to join PTK or AGS, or if you sign up for some random club on campus, or if you do participate in some Cancer walk. Instead, I would advise you to start focusing on the interests and pursuits more aligned with your graduate and career intentions. Not only will this help you prepare for graduate school admissions which is worlds more competitive than transfer admissions, but it will also inevitably show your relevant passion for your major. For example: if you are pre-med, drop the student government and go do some research in your intended field; if you are pre-business, forget the club board position and go get a relevant internship instead, if you are an aspiring writer, forget the tutoring and start seeking publishing. In short, since most of you are qualified to get into UCLA/UCB, you should not overdo or overburden yourself with random activities. If you are going to stress about anything, it should be grad school and grad school alone.</p>

<p>-Feeding into useless and nonsensical transfer and admission myths. Perhaps because I’ve been on CC for a while, this one bugs me the most. These turn up every so often and can be variants on everything from:</p>

<p>‘Will turning in my application later during the filing period jeopardize my chances of admission?’
‘Will being from SoCal affect my chances at Berkeley?’
‘Must I go to SMC if I want to transfer to UCLA?’</p>

<p>These types of questions are irrational in that they assume admissions committees will base their decisions of arbitrary and miniscule criteria. The UC system will certainly not penalize you for what community college attend, what classes you use to fulfill IGETC, or when you turn in your application. Point being, it’s called the comprehensive review and not ‘meaningless data review’ for a reason. There is also a trend of questions perpetuated on this board that are a bit more relevant, which include variants of:</p>

<p>‘Should I take this class the fall of application time or the following spring?’
‘Should I cram my schedule with one more major pre-requisite so I can have it done by the time of application?’
‘Should I transfer to a CC with TAP?’</p>

<p>In my opinion, this is over thinking the process. Again, it harps back to the ‘comprehensive review’; if you are qualified enough to succeed in your major, one arbitrary characteristic of your application will not make or break you. It will be your overall application that determines your admission, so don’t go crazy stressing over that one missing pre-requisite. I myself got into UCB missing three major pre-requisites for a semi competitive major (English) and had none done by the time of application.</p>

<ol>
<li>More General Advice
-Apply to both UCLA and UCB even if you have your heart set on either one. Sixty dollars is a small price to pay for an extra option come May.
-Be sure to have UC safeties!
-If you can’t decide between applying into a less competitive major, let’s say Econ, and a more competitive major, let’s say Haas undergrad; I’d say follow your heart and don’t let the admission rate scare you away from your dreams.
-Fill out your FAFSA!
-Chillax as much as you can :)</li>
</ol>

<p>About me: Attended relatively unknown CC (College of the Canyons). Applied and got into UCB, UCLA, UCSD, UCD, UCSB (honors invite), and UCR as an English major. Ended up choosing UCB over UCLA for personal and academic reasons (I’ve mad love for UCLA though). Planning to switch from English to Interdisciplinary Field Studies (basically Creative Writing) as I’m suiting up for MFA CW programs. Feel free to ask me about any of this or any other random questions you have (granted they are not of the nonsensical variety), I feel pretty confident in my knowledge about community college and the transfer process in general. I feel indebted to share this information with you guys because so many CCers graciously helped me before (allena and littleol’me to name a few. Shout outs to them!) and I am the prototypical community college student (messed up in high school, found redemption through CC). So yeah, feel free to PM me if you want to chat up on AIM. This will be my last post…errr thread in the transfer forum. I will be back in full force come May to help Berkeley’s yield rate ala Byerly style.</p>

<p>BEST OF LUCK UCLA/UCB TRANSFER CLASS OF 09!!!!!! :cool:</p>

<p>Cheers!</p>

3

<p>holy crap thanks Cardinal!</p>

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<p>haha no problem, pellman. Hope you find something helpful in my two thousand word rambling! haha</p>

5

<p>You've been the most helpful in these forums. I'd like to have your third essay also, if you don't mind. Can you pm it to me?</p>

6

<p>"You've been the most helpful in these forums. I'd like to have your third essay also, if you don't mind. Can you pm it to me?"</p>

<p>No doubt, pellman. I still need to type it up and I'm bouncing in a bit for back to school shopping so I'll PM it to you later :) If I have enough time during the school year, I might collect the transfer essays of my friends and put it into a master thread of some sort so you guys can see the full range of what one can write about in the UC personal statements :cool:</p>

7

<p>Cool. Thanks a lot.</p>

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<p>all hail Marvin! :bow: For the most part, I quit visiting the Berkeley forums because every thread seems to degenerate into an off-topic argument. (For example, Sakky not accepting that another poster's friend was forced to apply to Ivy's in that "What do you like about Cal" thread.) Many of the 500+ word responses in that forum have no purpose other than proclaiming, "my dlck is bigger than yours." I've come to realize that the Berkeley forum's distinction as the most active of the "CC Top Universities" is a reflection of insecurities more than anything else. </p>

<p>Your posts always breath fresh air into an otherwise depressing swamp. You are a man's man, man! :D</p>

9

<p>yea excellent info, despite im not in CA :(</p>

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<p>Cardinal, you deserve some sort of CC medal. This informaton is not only relevant, but useful and honest. Good work.</p>

<p>@nico: Insecurities?</p>

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<p>I think future applicants should copy and paste Cardinal's advice. He says everything I wanted to say, but was unable to articulate.</p>

<p>"@nico: Insecurities?" </p>

<p>I'll just say that a couple people in the Berkeley forums make it difficult for incoming students to find relevant information in a timely manner. Too many innocuous topics blow up into off-topic personal arguments.</p>

12

<p>Cardinal, your essays are too long (over 200 words) :P</p>

<p>lol haha anyway, I'm proud that you are an ex-cougar!
You are the true representative figure of our school and I am inspired and touched by your willingness to help and contribute to this forum.</p>

<p>WAY TO GO!</p>

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<p>They don't have to be exactly 200 words, just a little over or below is fine. 1,000 words for all three is what you need, with one significantly longer than all the others.</p>

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<p>yeah. between 190~210 is fine.
but his was 275.
but o well, that's not the point of my post :)</p>

15

<p>"all hail Marvin! :bow: For the most part, I quit visiting the Berkeley forums because every thread seems to degenerate into an off-topic argument. (For example, Sakky not accepting that another poster's friend was forced to apply to Ivy's in that "What do you like about Cal" thread.) Many of the 500+ word responses in that forum have no purpose other than proclaiming, "my dlck is bigger than yours." I've come to realize that the Berkeley forum's distinction as the most active of the "CC Top Universities" is a reflection of insecurities more than anything else. </p>

<p>Your posts always breath fresh air into an otherwise depressing swamp. You are a man's man, man!"</p>

<p>Nicopico, Thanks for the vote of confidence! And I totally feel you about the Berkeley forum. It seems every thread turns devolves into some obscure argument that has little relevance to the OPs question or little relevance at all.</p>

<p>"Cardinal, you deserve some sort of CC medal. This informaton is not only relevant, but useful and honest. Good work."</p>

<p>RockRoadAhead, Thanks for the support as well! Hopefully, it'll help you guys in some way :)</p>

<p>"I think future applicants should copy and paste Cardinal's advice. He says everything I wanted to say, but was unable to articulate."</p>

<p>HAHA, I've been meaning to say some of these things for a long time but just haven't gotten around to typing it out. I know the other UCB transfers share similar thoughts but they have been driven away by the redundancy of some of the questions. In any case, hopefully this will help UCLA/UCBs incoming transfer class. :cool:</p>

<p>"Cardinal, your essays are too long (over 200 words) :P</p>

<p>lol haha anyway, I'm proud that you are an ex-cougar!
You are the true representative figure of our school and I am inspired and touched by your willingness to help and contribute to this forum.</p>

<p>WAY TO GO!"</p>

<p>Dhl3, from what I remember the aggregate should be around one thousand words for all three essays. There is a little word counter in the actual application that tells you how many words you've written and if you've gone over (if memory serves me correctly)...I think in general its advisable to have 2 two hundred fifty word essays and 1 five hundred word essay.</p>

<p>Haha, thanks man. Yeah I love College of the Canyons. Though I would generally not recommend one CC over another, for our school I tend to make exceptions ha! ;)</p>

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<p>well I have two 200 word essays and one 600 words.
But hey~ you are the one that got accepted.
I guess it's alright to do it your way too :)</p>

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<p>You started already dhl3? I don't even know what I'm going to write mines on yet, but I do have a couple of ideas floating...</p>

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<p>"Well I have two 200 word essays and one 600 words.
But hey~ you are the one that got accepted.
I guess it's alright to do it your way too "</p>

<p>Yeah, I probably could have trimmed down my essays. I really don't like them either way.... :&lt;/p>

19

<p>Gosh, people from COllege of the Canyons are soo cool.
Question: Do i have to go to COllege of the Canyons to get into UCLA/UCB? (j/k)
You're so kind, Cardinal. Thanks a bunch :)</p>

20

<p>
[quote]
You started already dhl3?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>actually i finished... Spent about a month working on my essays. :)</p>