Care to read my essay?

<p>Hi. I'm a senior suffering through the collge application process, and was wondering if I could get some feedback on my essay. I figured asking parents would be much better than asking highschool students... I quite liked my essay and many agreed, but someone havs told me that my insight within the essay was very artificial, so I was wondering if there were many others that felt the same way... well, if you do...there goes my ED acceptance into my dream school =S
i'll pm it to whoever is willing. Thank you in advance!</p>

<p>ill read it desperate asian</p>

<p>I'll read it. I've been through the process, I know how it's like.</p>