<p>Another vote that D1 keep her room. She should feel that it is still her home.</p>
<p>My husband would come home from college and have to share his bedroom with his youngest sister. She was 1. OY!</p>
<p>I’d let your D keep her room. It’s nice to have an anchor space in the midst of beginning adulthood :)</p>
<p>I also vote to let D keep her room. Does your son expect you to redecorate this room for him too? There is too much sentiment for your D and her room right now. Let her keep it. Also…you can close off that third floor when DD isn’t at home…less to clean, heat, and deal with. </p>
<p>Just an FYI…we DO allow guests to sleep in our kids’ rooms when they are NOT at home…they really don’t care about that.</p>
<p>I vote D1 keeps her space. She really isn’t “out” of the house, just away. That day will come soon enough. And what would she do during the summers?</p>
<p>I say let her keep the room. For all the reasons given above. And it matters to her. Sounds like he has it pretty good already.</p>
<p>In our case, we are switching out rooms when S leaves for college. Our 2 younger D’s share a room that is smaller than S’s room. They are taking the larger room, S will have the smaller room for when he comes home. Once he is out of school and on his own, maybe D’s will decide to split between the 2 rooms. ( we have a small study that can double as a guest room).</p>
<p>I’m going to vote the other way. When S1 went away to school, S3 moved into his big room. Seemed silly to leave the large room vacant awaiting his visits home while S3 used the little room. S1 didn’t care at all. It’s not like there wasn’t a room for him when he visited, he got S3’s little room. Made S3 feel much more grown up and miss his brother a little less.</p>
<p>I vote differently. Your daughter had the preferred room, I don’t see why your son shouldn’t get his chance at it. </p>
<p>He’s there 12 months out of the year - not just 4. Why should he not get his preference?</p>
<p>No. An unused room is not only wasteful but a bad signal to the child that still lives with you. The child that is leaving for college will come back, but more and more only as a visitor, it’s the natural way of things. You still have one in the nest and the last thing you or your younger child needs is an empty shrine to one who has left. </p>
<p>This is more about your feelings, isn’t it?</p>
<p>My vote? D1 keeps her room. It matters to her, at a challenging, transitional time.</p>
<p>S1 has pretty swanky digs in the basement. I see no reason to upset D1 and make her feel like she’s getting the boot.</p>
<p>My 3 had bedrooms that seemed (to me) to have a heirarchy, but none of the younger ones even mentioned moving up when the older ones left. They seemed to like their own space.
OTOH, I wouldn’t let one kid move into another’s during freshman year unless the younger kid clearly needed the space (was sharing a room with another sibling with no other space to host friends).
In my own family, you lost your room when you married and/or graduated from college and had your own space.</p>
<p>Vote? D1 keeps the room for now.</p>
<p>It would be different if S1 did not have the man cave. Maybe in a year she will be secure enough to suggest he take the room. She needs to feel that she has left the nest not been pushed out of it.</p>
<p>I vote with the majority. the D not getting preferential treatment by keeping the bigger room, since apparently there’s no “woman cave.”</p>
<p>In fact, giving him her room, *plus *his guy retreat, sounds pretty unfair to her.</p>
<p>I vote for your D. Don’t foget that she’ll likely be back for at least Thanksgiving, winter break, spring break, summer break, and maybe other times each year. Depending on how things go for her she might even be back after she graduates for a bit.</p>
<p>For me, heating the attic unnecessarily would be a big issue. Have you considered letting your son “move” into the man cave ie making that his bedroom too? If that living space is rarely used by other amily members, that could satisfy your son’s need for an upgrade.</p>
<p>I’m going the total opposite of most everyone here.</p>
<p>All I can think is, are kids now really that fragile? I was the last of 5 kids and when one went off to college the oldest still at home got dibs on the downstairs bedroom which was treasured above all bedrooms. Last summer, before my first went off to college he gladly switched rooms, taking the smallest bedroom. We redecorated all of the kids rooms then as summer is just a great time to do that. I say give the young son at least as much time in the attic room as the daughter got, unless the utilities would be too much of an additional expense.</p>
<p>I’m going to vote against most people here too. We had a similar situation. We bought a larger house 4 years ago and gave S1 the biggest room, with a beautiful view of the water…and S2 got the tiny room. Sure, he spreads his mess out over the rest of the house, as expected.</p>
<p>But when S1 went 2500 miles away to college, we gently said—Look, you have had the nicest room because you were the oldest. Now you’re not going to be here most of the time, it’s the little guys turn. Sorry dear, are you okay with that? Luckily he said it was fine, and there have been no issues. If the cost of heat/air was a problem, that might be a different story, but it doesn’t really sound to be in your case. It would have been harder for us if S1 put up a fight. But he realized it was only fair, and why should the best room be kept as a shrine when his brother would like it? S2 also gets to drive the car he drove.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone. Even if she didn’t admit to caring, I’d wait at least until she finishes her 1st year or two of college & may not be coming home before allowing any sib to ask about claiming the space. The extra heating/cooling is also a consideration (not one we have so much in HI).</p>
<p>Our S was not all that pleased that D used his room while he was away at college, even tho she did clean & vacate before he returned home each break. Last year (during junior year in college), he was only home 10 days over summer & 3 weeks over Christmas! This year, we’re not sure when he’ll be in HI–he has a job in VA & plans to “hang out” in LA over the summer, driving around to visit friends.</p>
<p>Wait a year at least. My family is a virtual cautionary tale…
My husbands room was turned into a den a month after he went to school. He slept on a sofa on break. His sisters room was still intact after she was graduated from college, married with a baby & living halfway across the country. The room wasn’t just left ‘as is’… they had moved… and put it back that way. Good thing. She left the husband and moved back with two kids. I’m sure she appreciated her spirit beads and pompoms.
My mom rented out my room when I left. When I came home I had to rent my brothers old room. This was not a monetary issue but one of respect. If you came home, you paid rent.</p>
<p>Things to do with your students room:
Renovate to den- not good
Shrine- not good
Rent to strangers- not good</p>
<p>So, I’m voting for status quo for a year.</p>
<p>I’m with the majority, at least until winter break of freshman year, if not after the first summer, assuming your D comes home. Also assuming the room isn’t truly needed and that your D cares. While it’s exciting to leave for college, it’s also scary and your child doesn’t have a new home, new room to call her own or new community yet. Until she is settled at school, has another place to also start calling home, it can feel very unnerving to lose your room before you have something to replace it.</p>
<p>A thought about rent (for kids who come back after graduating from college), have heard of parents who keep all the rent in a savings account to help build down payments for kids. That sounds like a win-win. Similarly, I know someone who paid in-laws to watch their kids; the payments were saved toward the kids’ educations (tuitions). That seemed like a great idea.</p>