Vassar
Well, there are a lot of things you never really know, but what an Ivy-or-equivalent school will cost is not one of those things - this we definitely do know. Have your parents truly grappled with the question of whether paying more than $300K for your undergraduate education is realistic or wise for your family? I can only assume that “upper middle class” means you won’t get much if any financial aid. Yet, you’ve been working very long hours for a high school student, which to me does not signal “money isn’t an issue”…
Another thing to keep in mind is that when mental health is an issue, it’s a really good thing to be able to be flexible and prioritize self-care. If you go to a school that costs $40K PER SEMESTER, it’s going to be hard to give yourself permission to make adaptations like light-loading at some point if you need to, or just giving yourself more time to explore and figure out what you want to do. The “five year plan” at UNC would still cost less than 40% of the four-year cost of an Ivy. Stretching financially comes with all sorts of inherent pressures that may really not be worth it.
UNC is a top-notch school for an amazing in-state price. There are also excellent private schools where you could get significant merit aid. Some of them are terrific for music as well as STEM and other academics. URochester, CWRU, and U of Richmond come to mind. Big merit at Vanderbilt would be a long shot but definitely not out of the question - another great music+academics school and surely in a tier your parents would appreciate. (FWIW, I toured both Brown and Rochester with my daughter, and she described her impression of Rochester as “like Brown but with better music and less attitude.” Would you like a major that combines music and STEM? UR has Acoustics and and Music Engineering, and their Auditory Neuroscience Lab is run by one of the nicest people I knew in college.)
Have you considered women’s colleges? Smith, Mt. Holyoke, Bryn Mawr, and Scripps all offer merit scholarships to students of your caliber, and all have cross-registration opportunities with other top-tier schools… and they can be very supportive environments mental health wise as well.
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Just going by what she said two messages prior.
Yes, she was clear. I was just trying to offer her food for thought. I wasn’t posting to disagree with you.
Good thoughts. I would add Wellesley to your list of women’s colleges with cross registration opportunities with top partner schools, with goos merit opportunities, and with supports for mental health issues.
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Does Wellesley give merit? I thought it didn’t, which was why I didn’t include it. Also has a bit of a pressure-cooker reputation, relative to others. But yes, top-notch school, and cross-reg at MIT is a nice perk.
You’re right about Wellesley scholarships. I lost my mind for a moment. My apologies.
Students I know have not experienced it as a pressure cooker despite its rep. Crossover with MIT, yes. Also with Brandeis, Babson, and Olin.
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If I am understanding this correctly, UNC Chapel Hill is instate, and your high school guidance counselor agrees that it is a safety. Is this correct? This is a great school. I have worked with graduates from UNC. When I was in graduate school at a highly ranked university one of my best friends in the same program was a UNC graduate.
Northeastern and BU are not safeties unless you can afford to be full pay and are willing to be full pay. If you have run the NPC and you and your parents are okay with the results that makes them both “safer” than they would be otherwise. I am not convinced that I would pay full cost for either if the alternative was UNC in-state.
I did not see your unweighted GPA anywhere. Do you have nothing but A’s throughout high school?
I do not see this. Working 20 hours per week, plus piano competitions and orchestra plus straight A grades is a LOT.
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You had me at, “My parents are doctors and I’m applying to UNC-CH in-state.” You’ll be fine.
money isn’t an issue at the moment (i’m blessed that my parents have worked hard, saved money, lived below their means), i’m mostly working so i can pay for most things on my own.
i know that financial aid will be needed and would really help though because obviously not many can afford the full price of college, regardless of income.
i feel like music + STEM would be a nice thing to combine. i’ll take a look at rochester (i’ve actually lived in new york before around that area, so it might be a good option)
yes, they would much rather i choose chapel hill in-state than any school out of state, unless its an ivy tbh.
my school does the marking system weird, but to answer your question-- all my final grades on my transcript have been A- or higher. i’ve had two Bs as semester finals though
i think that when you i to compare myself to others (online and in your school) who run clubs and organizations, do research, and play sports, i start to feel pretty average and inadequate.
thank you i hope 
This site can be especially convenient for estimating costs:
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You appear to have done the extracurricular activities that you wanted to do. You have excelled at these extracurricular activities.
This is exactly the right thing to do.
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How about Barnard? You’ll get the small college feel, and can also sell it as Columbia University to the parents
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Inadequate??? Your value is as a person. It doesn’t come from running clubs, organizations, and research. In the long run, those things won’t matter in the slightest and will be quickly forgotten. The quality of your relationships will matter and will stand the test of time if we sustain them. In the words of the song, “Only the words of love kept alive are worthy of not being wasted.”
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its a women’s college, so i’m not sure how id feel about it. we walked by it when we visited columbia though and it looked nice. the acceptance rate seems low
yes! the importance and stress of the college process has been over stated to the point where we forget the big picture. college is only four years in your whole life, and a name or so called “prestige” matters less than some people play it up to be. at the end of the day, i know its not worth losing sleep and losing my time in high school worrying about these things when, like you said, the relationships and memories will serve far more purpose down the road
I get the women’s school part although it’s tied into Columbia. So you take classes there and vice versa.
As for low acceptance rate - well your title is Brown, Georgetown, Ivies, JHU - so it’s in that vein.
I question the validity of that statement. It’s not at all unusual to apply to more than on Ivy League school, and only being accepted to one. So not getting into any ONE, doesn’t say anything about getting into another.
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