<p>Last night, I settled down to read our community newspaper. In the sports section, there was a series of articles about parents who had financed their kids through travel teams, tryout camps, out of state (and, in one case, out of the country) trips, etc. in the hope that they could get baseball scholarships to college. These were the "success" stories--kids who had gotten full or partial rides. When you read more closely though, you found a kid getting a ride to Olney Community College witht the "hope" that Arizona State, which didn't offer out of high school, would become interested, or a partial ride to Evansville, foresaking better academic schools because he'd have a chance to pitch right away and get noticed by pro scouts, and so on. I was sick to my stomach at the end of these articles.</p>
<p>Understand that I am as big a sports fan as you will ever meet--this is decidedly NOT about a disdain for sports in general, or athletes in particular. I have been active in youth sports for years, all of my kids play multiple sports, and my oldest daughter wants to be a sportswriter. I follow my alma mater's teams religiously (the University of Michigan--Go Blue!) and pro sports as well. But, this has nothing to do with liking sports--it, instead has everything to do with either: (a) parents who can't say no to kids who are, by definition, unrealistic about their abilities; or (b) parents who, themselves, can't muster any semblence of realism about their kids, and live vicariously through them. These are the same people who think that every failing their kid has stems from a bad coach or, academically, a bad teacher. It drives me nuts.</p>
<p>Hoop Dreams got into this in a big way, however they did not have the resources for camps, etc. Now it's overindulged AAU coaches and shoe companies leading them on...</p>
<p>You know, if you substituted the word "dance" for the "baseball", you would describe my family. We have sacrificed a lot for Daughter. Not to the point of selling our house, but we did disrupt our family for two years. And I will admit, we are still paying for some of the debt we occurred for her lessons and pre-college experience. It wasn't all done for a full ride. It was in hopes of helping her get The Break. THE Break. The one that makes her dreams come true.</p>
<p>Why did we do it? Why is she majoring in something where 95% of the people are unemployed? Because we had faith in her. Because I never wanted her to say "What if". Because all those people dancing professionally had people that told them to "Face reality" and "Have a back-up plan". And they all followed their dreams.</p>
<p>Will she make it professionally? Who knows! Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.</p>
<p>peggy, I think there's a difference here. As I view it, dance is generally not an activity subsidized by parents to live their own past dreams vicariously through their kids (unless, of course, one or both of the parents were frustrated dancers). By contrast, many, many boys grew up hoping to be major leaguers in some sport, and see another chance in their sons or daughters. If you're chasing the dream on your kid's behalf, not out of guilt or an inability to say no, that's great. If you're chasing it for you, or because you're unwilling to discuss realism with your kids or say no to unreasonable requests, different story. Put another way, there's nothing wrong with helping your kid reach for the stars, as long as their eyes (and yours) are open, and others aren't damaged in the process (by the latter, I mean other kids aren't neglected,as we've seen in a family in our community intent on "chasing the dream" for one of their three kids).</p>
<p>Okay I'll rant for a minute too...I hear you dadtimesthree...been there done that seen it. I LOVED the ads that ran during March Madness that talked about how 1-2% of NCAAA athletes go on to play professionally. Of course, they didn't have time to cover the sacrifices made my families, etc. to chase that dream. If it is the kids dream and they are willing to do what it takes, and understand the percentages I say go for it. But I gotta laugh when my hairdresser tells me her son who is 155 lbs. dripping wet and got a 3.0 his freshman year is going to UCLA on a football scholarship...</p>
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Why is she majoring in something where 95% of the people are unemployed?
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Very funny, peggy!</p>
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But I gotta laugh when my hairdresser tells me her son who is 155 lbs. dripping wet and got a 3.0 his freshman year is going to UCLA on a football scholarship...
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Here's the difference. No doubt peggy's daughter is graceful, slim, with stage presence. A dream, perhaps, but not an impossible one. I'm always amazed at the 5'6" dad pushing, drilling, controlling his kid in the extreme. Check out the sizes of the pros and Div1 athletes. If you're not genetically blessed, it's an incredible longshot. Parents probably do it in many other areas, but it is just so very public at the ballfield.......</p>
<p>One of my son's classmate struggles mightily in school. He parents are running him (an excellent athlete) to travel leagues, private pitching coaches, etc. every day in multiple sports. Yet we often get calls the night before projects or complicated homework assignments are due, asking for the instructions. Sometimes my son is already in bed! Dad is 5'5". Mom is 5'2". If the pros come calling, I'll be a tad surprised.</p>
<p>We are dealing with such a situation in high school football. The head coach's son is an average player yet he was put on the Varsity team in 10th grade and started on both offense and defense while more talented upperclassmen watched from the bench. He was then given the "rookie of the year award" at the football banquet. People were flabbergasted. This year he is a Jr. and it's happening again. His mother has been saying for years that they think he can get a football scholarship for college. Guess they're gonna do all they can to make that happen. </p>
<p>As for size of the player, it really depends on the sport. A boy from our town who is listed at 5'7" broke the state record for career steals in high sch. baseball (which he has been playing year round since he could walk), was signed by UNC-Chapel Hill at the end of his Jr. year and started in the College World Series championship for the Tarheels.</p>
<p>You before everybody turns this into a bunch of "can'ts", let me make a point. As a parent who did spend a little money for upper level sports (soccer) it was money well spent. Not because there was a scholarship at the end of the rainbow, but it was money spent so my child could enjoy the sport, feel challenged by the sport and develope himself. Me? I spent more time enjoying watching the games. I supported my kid by being there. So there alot of positives, alot of "can's" to these situations, even if the kid doesn't go on to a D1 or 2 school.</p>
<p>Besides three out of the four of us (boys) in my family received atheletic scholarships. WAAAAy back in the day figuring the math for the actual commitment required to play D1, the scholarships worked out to around a $1.50 an hour for the time put in to play. That's a long ways away from minimum wage and god help you if you got hurt. So we had no illusions about college atheletics and a student atheletes value. </p>
<p>Can we help it that some parents go off the deep end? Naw, if it wasn't sports, it would be something else. If I had a nickle for every time I heard "my son/daughter is going to get a D1 scholarship in soccer" I'd have Gates money. </p>
<p>If they are lucky (skilled and healthy) to get that D1 ride (or 2, or even D3) the exchange is 21 hours of scheduled practice a week in season, 6 days on. The unscheduled practice times out of scheduled training (in and out of season) can average an hour plus a night (depending on your sport), coaches will pick your classes/ major for you and you'll probably have to attend summer school to graduate on time. Be careful what you wish for.</p>
<p>I also think that parents of dancers or actors, for example, are less likely to have stars in their eyes because they are less like to have dollar signs in their eyes. There aren't full-ride scholarships to top schools for performing artists; there aren't multi-million dollar contracts at the end of the rainbow. (Even though actors may eventually make millions, I think parents are more realistic about the odds, and about the years of struggling involved.)</p>
<p>We're one of the lucky few who are living out Mom and S's dreams.</p>
<p>S's dream upon entering HS: Play soccer in college. In the meantime, play for the best HS program in the state.</p>
<p>Mom's dream for S: have a fabulous HS experience, attend one of the best academic schools in the state, and then get on with his life.</p>
<p>S's dream changed along the way. After 3 1/2 solid years of intense HS and club soccer, he decided that he'd take his 2 state championships and retire to college club or intramural soccer. Luckily, he was a driven in the classroom as he was on the playing field, and is headed for his #1 choice.</p>
<p>I don't regret one moment of the travel/expense for his club teams. We met some great people who were a lot closer to normal than the HS parents, and he had some wonderful opportunities.</p>
<p>For us, intense HS soccer resulted in no soccer scholarships, but a win/win as far as I am concerned.</p>
<p>I wouldn't regret that experience either--you weren't doing it to live through him or cash in on him, but rather to give him an experience. That's a win/win.</p>
<p>To clarify, there are certainly kids with special talent, and others for whom pursuit of a dream (even an unrealistic one) can be a very worthwhile experience. Those aren't the situations I'm refering to. It's the situations where people who live vicariously through their kids won't accept reality, spend money they don't have (or neglect their other kids) in the vain hope that they'll "hit the jackpot", or won't at least level with their kids about the long odds they're facing which bother me and prompted the original post.</p>
<p>In our local paper this morning there is a story that shows you that dreams sometimes do come true. A local athlete was scheduled to attend Trinity (CT) and hoped to play baseball as a walk on. Last week he participated in our state American Legion championship (he is a pitcher) and I guess he did an incredible job. Wouldn't you know it, the BC baseball coach was attending the games, saw him play and offered him a half scholarship to attend BC THIS FALL. He accepted the scholarship and will be visiting the school tomorrow. What a story!</p>
<p>Dadtimesthree - I went to school on a Div. 1 athletic scholarship and was fortunate enough to make All American in college. Like you, I like sports a lot. More than the average guy. And I can't agree with you more. There is waayy too much emphasis on sports at the college level, period. And the chasing an athletic scholarship thing is as much about the parents ego (and the kids' egos too) as it is about a sincere focus on the future. Division 1 sports (not all of them - some programs at some schools do hold the line on admission and student standards) are the great corrupter of schools. Football is the worst, but baseball (as you mention) is often nearly as bad. How a University President lives with this conflict is beyond me. You are correct in pointing out the perils of this seduction.</p>
<p>mam1959, I assume your objection to the overemphesis of college intercollegiate is focused primarily on Div 1 programs where there is fierce competition for the best athletes and the impact that varsity athletes have on the campus culture both in and out of the classroom. And yes the big money sports of basketball and football are usually cited as the major sports creating the problem. </p>
<p>I attended Ohio State so I speak as someone with some first hand experience though I was not a recruited athlete(I did try out for the golf team frosh year). Because the number of varsity athletes on these 2 teams comprised about 0.5% of the student body population and the total number of varsity athletes in all sports totalled less than 4%, I can assure up that they impacted little on the other students either in or out of the classroom. And insofar as f'ball and b'ball contributed to an enormous amount of school spirit, I would say that the net impact was overwhelmingly positive.</p>
<p>If you read "The Game of Life" you will see that the adverse impacts of college athletics are far more significant at smaller Div 3 colleges because the level of varsity participation typically includes 25% of the student body. The need to dedicate large blocks of time in training/practicing and travel detracts from most varsity athletes' participation in a broad range of other activites. The tribe aspect of many athletic teams, of which the Duke lacrosse team is an extreme example, can further isolate varsity athletes from full participation in college life. And finally the studies done in conjunction with the book found that varsity athletes were significantly less likely to be engaged alumni or be engaged in community involvement following graduation. BTW, in citing the Duke lacrosse team, I am not refering to the likely bogus criminal charges but the fact that the team was provided an off campus house which had a history of bad behavior like public intoxication, public urination, not to mention them hiring strippers for the party in question, a fact that is not disputed.</p>
<p>And please understand that I am not excusing Div 1 universities who violate NCAA rules and are accepting of bad behavior on the part of its star athletes. The M Clarret antics were a great embarrassment to OSU and may have contributed to the criminal charges he is now facing. But these issues do not impact the day to day life of the typical student in any significant manner</p>
<p>For people concerned about the impact of college athletics, I would strongly urge them to read "The Game of Life". It is full of statistical data and is a brisk read which blows much of our conventional wisdom out of the water.</p>