@momofsenior1 - I believe that user may be using this thread for commercial purposes, and I flagged it for that reason. (Sole post ever with that weird leading question.)
Care packages are expressions of love. A care package service totally misses the point of why people send care packages.
Kids (and you) should set up a Venmo (like PayPal, attached to your bank account). This is used quite a bit to transfer money when roommates split apartment expenses like electric/gas bills or other shared items (TP, paper towels, etc.)
This forum has been very helpful. Thank you, everyone, for all useful pieces of information
This forum is super helpful!
For parents who are flying in to the college town with their kid for orientation/move-in (early summer orientations are now virtual but school plans to open up for fall 2020) —- how many days ahead did you arrive? A day? Two days? Trying to figure it out! 
Thanks!!
@“Jolynne Smyth” - It really is the classic ‘it depends’. Moving into a dorm or apartment? Do you know the size of the room? Shared or single? How much do you need to buy to set your kid up (hint - you can probably reduce your list by 30% and be fine)? How much do you plan to bring in your luggage (linens for example)? If its freshman move in, I would recommend building a shopping day into the schedule. It may actually make more sense to have it after your move in time so you can buy what you know will fit and the student needs. With Bed, Bath and Beyond and Target letting you order ahead and pick up near the school, the time required is reduced. I suggest ordering some basics ahead with a plan for a follow-up trip for adding items. Make a list ahead of time to evaluate what is needed and what will fit. Cross off stuff as you realize it won’t be needed. We were guilty of buying numerous “just in case” or “it will be nice to have” items that are still in boxes 2 years later. Priorities - hygiene items, laundry needs, medicines (cold, allergy, pain relief and stomach/digestive relief).
I agree - we also found that the “just in case” items most in use were: doorstops, simple tools (hammer, screw driver), simple sewing kit items, simple first-aid items. Don’t forget flip-flops!
Thermometer!
We just ordered a HEPA/ Negative Ion Generator air filter/fan for his dorm room - just for my peace of mind!
Usma - thanks much! I know the kids probably need much, much less in terms of material goods than we think they do so hope to minimize shopping (if possible!).
Would like some time to “chill” in the college town with D before we depart so it’s not so rushed and she has a chance to get excited about being there. Appreciate all the info!
@“Jolynne Smyth” - Does your D’s school have an orientation program for incoming freshman? If so, don’t expect to see your daughter after move in . Those programs tend to keep students very busy so they can integrate into campus life and meet new friends. My advice would be to go a day or two in advance of dorms opening, do your shopping, get her moved into her room, and then say your goodbyes.
momofsenior1 - yes, there is an orientation (plus a virtual orientation earlier in the summer). And, she just got into a living/learning community so I think they have something going on before regular orientation.
Yes, that was the plan - finalize all these dates (assuming that inperson school happens!) and try to get there a day or two before it all. There is a parents’ orientation concurrent w/the students’ so we’ll probably say goodbye the morning after both those all day events!
Just moving ahead as if school will start on time, lol…! 
Yes, your plan to socialize 2 days ahead is probably ideal. This way, you can also scout out the location of the nearest neighborhood hardware store - which you will visit once you realize that the extension cord you brought is not approved, or whatever other snag you’ll encounter.
Also, don’t expect to learn anything new at the Parent Programming (“Seminars”). They are mostly there so that the college can coax the parents out of the small dorms after a few hours. This gives the students a chance to finally breathe a sigh of relieve, collapse on their chairs/beds, and eventually start putting things where they REALLY want them - or just leave some things/decisions to be tackled later in days to come.
When THE BIG day finally arrives, after feverishly waiting for it for week, months and years - the LAST thing most want is their “old” live still clinging to them. Once the physical task of carrying large items has been accomplished with your help, plan for another hour and then be alert for clues that YOUR pace and THEIRs is running out of synch - which won’t help anyone’s nerves.
They’ll be happy to take a break, start exploring facilities, wandering the halls, checking on neighbors, get to know peers… while YOUR mind is still laser-focused on the “immediate task”. Remember, they’ll have many months to figure out what works best where for their dorms. So, go home!
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Oh! Bring tissues for YOU, in case you will cry all the way home! It’s so hard to say goodbye, especially if they are more than a day trip away.
Digital dad - that’s funny. And, accurate I am sure! Nice to be thinking ahead about D’s expectations and hopes for the future, just not about our sadness at saying goodbye. So good to stay focused on that aspect!
Songbirdmama - yes - anticipating that part too, no matter how we strategize this all.
@“Jolynne Smyth”, with my D17, we were flying from CA to NY, so arriving in the evening, but early enough to go our to dinner. We had done the Bed, Bath Beyond Pack and Hold, so got an early start the first morning and picked that up. Also, went to Target, Staples and Container Store. Then moved her in the next day. So really, one full day in the city prior to move in. There was orientation on move-in day, but all the parents were basically kicked out in the late afternoon. My flight was not until the next day, but I had some returns of extra stuff that we had bought. I did not see D again after saying goodbye on move-in day.
Thanks for sharing, scorekeeper1. D has move in for her living learning community one day prior to general school move-in so we’ll come at least the day before that!
I haven’t read 22+ pages…my apology if someone already posted this. I would pack some cold medicines, wipes, sanitizer , masks- covid related items. Their college campus (town) may be short of those supplies.
I would also have a serious discussion with your kid about what to do in case there is a second wave. Students from hot spots now may be more aware than students from less affected areas.
@oldfort I agree with you that it would be valuable to have a conversation about what to do if another wave hits and campus closes again. I think it is a lot easier on your student and their academic performance if they have a general plan including: Do I need to pack and store my stuff now? Do I need to travel home and what things do I need to bring with to continue my studies? Where do I live if the school closes on campus housing?
Even if you never need to put these plans into action, at a minimum you will have already roughly figured out what happens to all of their stuff they brought to school or you purchased for them when they have to move out of their dorm at the end of the year anyways.
For those of you focused on a shopping list only buy what your student will use, not what you think they need. Some basic items include: a small first aid kit, shower shoes, cleaning supplies (if your student will actually use them), a single cheap set of dishes that can be put in the microwave, technology, and a fan if you live somewhere hot without A/C. If your student is going to buy hardcopies of textbooks purchase them online 2 weeks in advance and used books are always cheaper than the bookstore.
Your student will take some time to get completely settled as the more you live in a space, the more you realize what you don’t need, and what you are missing. It could be cheaper or easier for you to let your student purchase items they wish they had a few weeks into the term than feeling like you need to buy everything right when you move them in.
After launching 2 kids to college, my youngest boy is heading off to campus for his first year away from home. Parents who’ve spent the last 18 years preparing for this moment want to make sure their freshman has everything they need. Preparations do make a difference, and I would be happy to share my thoughts.
Get them to take ownership of their education, college life can be expensive, unless they are qualified for a full-ride scholarship. It’s not a good idea to feel responsible for all their wish lists, like wearable, smartphone, clothes, bags, shoes… Encourage them to earn some spending money on their own, and pursue a scholarship by maintaining a certain GPA.
Start to let go. Always keep in mind that you are raising an independent adult, not a kid anymore. Campus life is just a perfect bridge between living at home and being on their own. So don’t be a helicopter parent, stay connected when necessary, navigate them, and help them consider the consequence of each decision they made.
Teach them some basic life skills. Don’t assume that high school graduate knows how to perform some basic life activities, especially when they’ve never done it before. As we all know, college kids wait until the last item of clothing is used before schlepping them to the laundry room, which makes it worse. And at the start of their 20s, these young souls like creating and imaging, get sleep late and tend to keep things cluttered, including their bed and desk. So, it’s always necessary to get them prepared with some college essentials, like laundry bags, personal safe, desk organizers, etc: https://geartry.com/gifts-for-college-students/
Help them set their life goals, and take action. Make a list of all their goals they want to achieve during the time in school, and instead of “do better in computer science and technology”, make it more specific, set their goals as “make an A+ at least at computer science”. The more they can track on a specific level, the more likely they’ll be to achieve your goal.
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