HABA = Health And Beauty Aids?
Plan to make a graceful good-bye and exit if you drop your kid off at college move-in day.
The colleges that our kids attended had a great method of separating the students and parents. After dorm move-in and various sign-in procedures, there was a convocation that included all the new students and their parents. The EXIT from the convocation sent the students out in one line and the parents out in another. Students were expected to attend an all-first-year meeting in 30 minutes or so, followed by dorm meetings, etc., for the rest of the day and evening.
So that was it: the kids went one way, we went another. They had activities scheduled; we had done what needed be done. So we beat it out of town, in one case driving the 4 hours straight home and in the other driving 11 hours straight home.
It was so FINAL. THEY WERE ON THEIR OWN. WE WERE SUPERFLUOUS.
But it had to happen somehow. We were back on campus a few months later for parents’ day.
Thx!
Yes, HABA is health/beauty aids.
@mackinaw Now I am crying!
Once you get all the necessary cards: insurance, credit/debit; make photocopies of the cards in case your son/daughter loses them. Consider applying for a passport if he/she doesn’t have one. I agree, see the dentist and make the next appointment for a scheduled break. As the parent of a freshman who has had day surgery three times this year (at college) I am grateful I created a medicine kit for her.
I love to do lists / checklists - but there are some other important questions to ask before paying for tuition.
- what is the actual net cost of education
- what % of students graduate in 4 years
- what is the refund policy of the institution
- what is the employment rate of graduates
- what is the campus safety record (Clery Act)
- WHAT else do you want to know???
An article about the entire topic appeared in the NY Times - How to Hold Colleges Accountable
Based on recent events here at Penn State, I want to encourage every parent to have a conversation about failure and disappointment. Talk about what ifs…what if they fail a class? what if they have trouble finding friends? what if they want to withdraw? It’s important, yes, to plan for victory. But imagine yourself as a parent, wondering where your panicked runaway has gone, or if they’ve jumped off something. Wouldn’t you have wanted to say no matter how bad it gets or seems, we love you and don’t care about anything more than you. Wouldn’t you want to say it can be okay, always bring your problems to us and we’ll tackle them together?
I think that’s a message every new student needs to hear. ymmv. Many academically able hs students are unprepared for setbacks, and overreact.
There are some great suggestions on this thread. And yes, we all want to help our kids transition, but at the end of the day, they need to just figure it out for themselves. If we raised them up right, they’ll be fine!
@greenbutton This is probably the most important piece of advice I’ve seen. Just because students have done well so far and been raised well doesn’t mean they’ll be fine in college—here’s a recent thought-provoking article about a student athlete at the University of Pennsylvania who committed suicide:
College is a new experience for all students and, regardless of their preparation, presents many challenges and stresses. These come at a time when serious mental health issues, such as schizophrenia, often surface for the first time. No matter how happy students may seem, being alert to changes in their behavior—and intervening, when necessary—is important.
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Maybe a small welcome gift for the roommate - a box of cookies, a starbucks gift card?
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^^ During Orientation, I went to the bookstore and bought two stuffed mascots. Later, when I was alone in the room for a moment, I put one on each bed.
Good tips, good activities are what I think so should be kept in consideration.
Someone said upthread that forget cleaning supplies on move in - in my case, 6 move-ins and cleaning supplies on move-in were indispensible. “Clean” is a relative term - I dare say, cleaning the vents with something, the window ledge, the bathroom sink (in suite) made me feel at tad better just spending a couple hours setting up in there. The vents were disgusting. Last yr, while we were lofting my dds bed, we found lots of snot (I know, you are groaning) all over the bedboard, side of desk, along the cinderblock wall. Soooooo glad I had clorox spray and gloves handy.
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@amandakayak After reading your post, I am thinking I might just skip move in day and let others in our family handle it!
Welcome gift is a bit much for me - neither ds or dd were bffs with that first match.
My D wasn’t either, @amandakayak , and that wasn’t the intention. I did it mainly as a conversation piece. Plus I just couldn’t help myself getting something cuddly for my already-homesick D, and I figured the roomie – being an international student – might be even more homesick and in need of something cuddly as well. They didn’t become good friends, but I don’t regret it.
The actual papers are good of the insurance cards etc. but have son/daughter take photos of all those important stuff,too.
Make sure your kid knows A: where the campus health center is located, B: what services are offered, C: the processes for scheduling appointments and hours of operation. Find out how or if your insurance covers these services. The health center stuff is probably explained in freshman orientation, but 1,000 other things are also covered in Freshman Orientation and the health stuff is pretty major.
On an informal visit to campus with 2015 daughter, we visited the health center and dropped off a copy of her insurance card. I made sure to point out to her where to go for (especially) mental health counseling and the procedures for making an appointment. Trying to nail down all that stuff when feeling ill or anxious is no bueno.
We are going to find a doc in the town next to campus and establish D as a patient there. She will be across the country and I will feel more comfortable knowing she has an option in addition to the health center. I also wanted to find someone that is “in-network” on our insurance before she needs the services.