I have recently been looking into applying to Choate and have even talked to some of their athletic coaches about possibly playing on their teams.But, I have heard from several people that they are very concerned with wealth and status there which is concerning. I know most prep school are like this to some degree, but I have heard Choate is especially bad. As someone who would need a fair amount of financial aid, this is concerning because I do not want to have to constantly be trying to keep up with everyone and get a reputation as the person who is only there because of sports? Does any one know more about the environment at Choate? Are there any other schools this bad that I need to avoid? Thanks.
DD has quite a few friends at Choate, and I don’t think that this characterization is 100% accurate. It’s a big school, and attracts a wide range of kids from many different backgrounds. Because of it’s location, it is popular with the NYC/Fairfield County group, but you will get that element (almost) anywhere in the area. They are generous with financial aid, so you certainly won’t be alone from that perspective. If you’re concerned about the culture at any of these schools, I would ask a few students about it during tours/revisits. Kids tend to be pretty honest, and it’s a valid question which I’m sure gets asked often.
There is wealth and status at EVERY boarding school as it seems that most of the schools discussed here comprise roughly 70% full pay/30% (some level of) financial aid, and ALL of these schools are expensive.
After four years at Choate, our son never once felt he had to “keep up” with wealthier kids. In fact, it often came as a surprise which kids came from wealthier families as you’d never know to look at them or interact with them just what their parents’ financial status was. Kids are kids and they intermix well regardless of financial status, country of origin, talents, etc. The last thing I’d worry about at Choate is feeling somehow second-class due to finances. In addition to generous FA, the school also has a “Beyond the Classroom Fund” to ensure that ALL students can participate fully in the life of the school regardless of their financial background.
While homeschooling D, I met a few fabulously wealthy homeschooling families. I felt it’s kind of unfair that all the wealthy kids I met are also well educated, courteous, emphatic and kind. Granted that we are not in poverty and can provide D for what matters so she can have good education and common interests with them, and we were in their inner group due to common homeschooling interest. But we always felt worm and included. Prospect of being with wealthy kids is actually a positive for us in considering bs. Because as unfair it might be, it seems wealthy kids in the U.S. are usually happy, bright and nice to others.
D’s awareness that so many around us, both friends and relatives are so affluent while we buy everything from Craigslist, hasn’t any noticeable negative impact on her social life.
Thanks for the help! @GMC2918 @ChoatieMom @jwalche
So I have my DD next to me and she says “it’s not like that AT ALL. Nobody cares. It is not what your parents bring, but what YOU can bring to the school.” She is an athlete and receives FA. She is very happy there. Feel free to PM her.
CRH is no worse than any of the other elite schools for being snobatoria. They all are, but it doesn’t really matter that much unless you are especially prickly. Where Choate will have problems is in the FA department, but if you get in AND get the aid you need, you are as golden as anywhere else. Choate’s been spending money like crazy lately, so you have new buildings and facilities aplenty if you get in–plus the school is bigger than most now and feels like it which is a benefit or not depending on your perspective. Plenty of opportunities there, though.
Avoiding schools because of second- or third-hand gossipy nonsense is pretty silly. Take the worst you hear and the best you hear and ignore it. If you’re serious about applying, visit, interview, talk to people on campus, and make your own judgements.