<p>Hi all, this is my first post on CC, but my daughter convinced me to get an account (you might know her, her username is aubreygal). She was accepted into two amazing schools (Choate and Hotchkiss) and I could not be prouder! However, the decision is going to be tough. For school-related reasons, she is unable to attend any of the Spring Visit Days for both schools. Any advice on what to do? And I would also like to say thank you to all the parents on here, my daughter is always chatting on about how she has learned so many things from this site - and in particular- this forum!</p>
<p>Here’s the problem. There is no logical reason to pick one over the other. If she had only been accepted to Choate you would be (rightfully) proud and excited. If she had only been accepted at Hotchkiss you would be (rightfully) proud and excited. The revisits help with “gut” decisions, but they don’t really solve for the answer 100%. </p>
<p>Barring some special issue (the child is extremely interested in the school newspaper and one is better than the other), many of us are left with “gut” decisions.</p>
<p>Congrats! Both schools are wonderful. I PMed you.</p>
<p>@RunnerMama - welcome to the forum, and congratulations to your daughter!</p>
<p>Were you able to visit both of the schools before you applied? If not, I would definitely make it a priority to make a trip to visit the schools. Since you have a choice (and what a wonderful choice!) I think it is too big a decision to make without a visit.</p>
<p>Since the actual revisit dates don’t work for you, I would call the admissions offices to arrange a visit at another time. I would let them know that you are making a choice between Hotchkiss and Choate, and that you need to visit before you can decide. Once the schools have admitted you, they definitely want to “yield” you, so I expect that they would be glad to assist you in making your visit worth your time. (And if they don’t seem very hospitable - that tells you something about the school right there!)</p>
<p>I looked up aubreygal’s chances post, and so I know that you live on the west coast. Being from Colorado, I understand the time commitment to make a trip like this, but you can realistically do it in three days, with your daughter only missing two days of school.</p>
<p>Here’s a sample schedule:
Sunday - flight to Hartford, CT, rent a car, drive to Lakeville (about 1.5 hours), spend the night
Monday: Visit Hotchkiss, drive to Wallingford late afternoon (about 1.5 hours), spend the night
Tuesday: Visit Choate; leave campus by 2:00 for the Hartford airport (about a 1 hr drive); catch a flight around 5:00, be home late Tuesday evening.</p>
<p>Looking at aubreygal’s interests from her chances thread, these are the things that you might want to try and include in a visit (beyond the standard campus tour):
- sit in on an English class
- meet the teacher in charge of the school newspaper, or meet the editor or other members of the newspaper staff
- meet the debate coach, and members of the debate team
- meet someone from the music department, preferably the choir director
- visit with any team members/coaches of sports you might participate in at school (volleyball, soccer)
- eat a meal in the dining hall</p>
<p>I think the key is to get a feel for the kind of teachers and students that you would interact with at each school. In some ways, a customized visit could give you a much clearer picture of the “feel,” the “culture,” of a school, versus the highly-choreographed official revisit day.</p>
<p>I agree with Mountainhiker–great advice there on the custom revisit. The other airport you could try would be White Plains NY (HPN), which is also an hour from Choate and right on the Greenwich/NY border. It is a smaller airport than Hartford so it might be easier to navigate, but the driving times are probably the same.
By the way, congratulations on both of those schools! Your daughter, from her posts, seems like a great kid and I wish her all the best in her final choice!</p>
<p>Boy, mountainhiker was a lot more helpful than I was.</p>
<p>Just trying to “pay it forward" for all the wonderful help and support I’ve received here over the past two years!</p>
<p>RunnerMama,</p>
<p>If you cannot revisit, then suggest u try approaching the decision in an objective way-- yes, i fully realize there are a lot of soft attributes you will not be able to assess.</p>
<p>Make a side-by-side comparison of the different attributes, like:</p>
<p>geographic setting: rural vs. suburban
% boarders vs. day
dress code: formal vs. casual
any key academic offerings
commuting distance
etc.
etc.
etc.</p>
<p>Maybe a clearer picture will emerge for you</p>
<p>Is it possible to speak with any kids at each school who hail from your vicinity? At least you will get first hand impressions from people who still come home to where you live and may already know something of what is on your daughter’s mind – it may well have been on their minds when they chose, as well.</p>
<p>Let me add one quick thing to what was said above. Actually, I’d say its about 40 minutes to the Hartford airport from Choate, and a good 1.5 hours to Hotchkiss. </p>
<p>If you are really in a tie-breaker situation, and can’t return visit, I would think about how much you plan to come from Colorado to visit, how much back and forth there will be. Choate is a LOT easier to get to than Hotchkiss.</p>
<p>I drove up to Hotchkiss recently w my daughter on a foggy night and it was tiring, rough slow, dark driving. Choate is right off 1-91. I have a friend whose son is in prep school near Hotchkiss and she always complains that it snows much more there than the rest of the state! </p>
<p>DD only applied to Choate and a local Day School. She is in at Choate and almost surely will pick it over the day school. Will perhaps see your daughter there!</p>
<p>Welcome @RunnerMomma: I’ve PM’d you and have had several PMs with @aubreygal regarding our wonderful experience with Choate. No experience with Hotchkiss, so I can only give you one side.</p>
<p>I don’t think Hotchkiss got much snow this season. 
I have the opposite opinion of the drive towards HS vs CRH; the roads around HS are beautiful. If we had to choose without revisits, we’d base it on the kid’s ECs and sports. Which school would be a better fit outside of academics?
Perhaps another factor: would you prefer DA or Taft as a rival school. DA and CRS both place enormous effort and resources towards ‘Choate Day’. CRS might have a different name for it. It seems inconsequential until your on the inside and become part of the rivalry. Quite the scene when nearly the entire school (including the kitchen) travels to the other.</p>
<p>Oddly enough, Choate calls it “Deerfield Day”. ;)</p>
<p>I agree with Alex. Since the academics at both schools are top notch, I’d take a look at where Aubrey is likely to fit most happily. Most students make their closest friends through dorms and activities. So how are the dorms arranged? Mixed or single grade? What the dorm parent situation? Do the sports and other e.c.'s match her strengths and interests? Past experience is less important than a feeling that a new activity might be just the thing for her.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I would also recommend contacting current parents and asking about advising and support. Every child will need to adjust and will run into issues and you will want a style that fits with both your daughter’s need for support and your need to be in the know.</p>
<p>Hotchkiss parent.
Agree with all that has been said, call both schools and see if you can get the names of some parents to call and some students for your daughter to call.<br>
The campuses are so very different…how did you feel when you visited them?<br>
Sports - how important and which ones? You could call the coaches.
And feel free to PM me with any specific questions.</p>
<p>One more thing to add to all this good advice. The schools know what they are doing. As they both picked your daughter, they both thought the fit was right. So, you can’t go wrong! Try not to get stressed out about the wonderful position you are in, and if/when your daughter gets a gut feeling about which one to choose, go with it and don’t look back!</p>
<p>Wow, thanks all for the wonderful advice and PMs! D wasn’t exaggerating on how helpful everyone is. It is nice to be able to talk to other parents who understand my situation, as the parents I know through her school think I’m forcing her to leave/sending her ‘away’. She is currently in contact with a freshman volleyball player at Choate, whereas she is talking to no one from Hotchkiss. When we first visited the campuses I fell in love with Choate’s; the various academic buildings and athletic facilities were outstanding. Even though Hotchkiss was beautiful, I like how Choate was located in a town - near shops and restaurants. </p>
<p>However, although I am biased, she needs to make this decision on her own. I must restrain myself from answering her “Mom, where do you want me to go?” question with my answer. 
She also feels this weird sense of, if she denies one school’s admission offer over the other, she will be ‘letting them down’. She had amazing connections with the interviewers (probably large factor in decision making) and “feels bad” that they worked hard to get her in only for her to reject the offer. I need to keep reminding her to not feel bad; they expect this! </p>
<p>There is also no way we can visit for even a few days, unfortunately, we visited for tours/interviews and I can’t afford (literally!) another trip because we have four years of 45,000 dollars of tuition to get started on. 
I’m also glad D introduced me to this site, I will definitely use it as a resource once she leaves - but first I need to get the hang of posting!!</p>