Chose the wrong major...How to tell parents?

<p>Okay. I'm almost half way through to getting my degree...but I HATE my uni studies. I'm at a point in my life where I can not take it anymore. My grades are suffering from this. No matter how I study, I don't get any good results. I mean, I pulled an all-nighter for these two exams that I had and I ended up getting a D and an F.</p>

<p>I don't know how I can tell my parents about my situation. I once tried hinting them that I didn't like my studies but I didn't get a good response...so I kinda backed off.</p>

<p>The problem is my parents expect me to ace every course that I take. I used to get very good grades in high school, maybe that's why they expect me to do the same here.</p>

<p>Currently, I'm on the verge of getting kicked out of uni but this teacher gave me another chance to retake an exam. Getting something good on this exam would stop me from failing...but I have no motivation to study.</p>

<p>I made a huge mistake when choosing my studies. I'm interested in a totally different thing. Another reason I'm failing could be because I spent lots of times working on things that interest me.</p>

<p>So, how do I tell them? Oh God, I really don't know what to do?
Sorry if this was very long.
Any help is appreciated. Thanks!</p>

<p>Did you choose your major, or did your parents force you to choose that major as a condition of contributing to your school expenses?</p>

<p>Is the issue really about your major, or about your academic performance?</p>

<p>There’s a lot you’re not saying here. Is there another major you’d prefer? I’m guessing you felt pushed into taking a science, engineering or mathematics major when you don’t have the interest or aptitude for those subjects. If this is the case, you can change to something else, although it may take you an extra semester or two to fulfill the requirements. If you just don’t like school in general, then it would be better to withdraw until you know what you want to do.</p>

<p>In any case, you need to work on your study habits. You should not have to stay up all night to prepare for an exam if you’ve been studying all along.</p>

<p>Pulling an all-nighter is not at all an efficient way to study.</p>

<p>However, it sounds like you need to switch majors. Tell your parents that switching majors and succeeding is far preferable to failing in a ‘better’ major.</p>

<p>Part of your problem is pulling all-nighters. Advanced classes - in pretty much every field of study but especially in STEM - require, as they say in Harry Potter, CONSTANT VIGILANCE. You can no longer wait until the night before to stuff all that data into your head. Go to your campus tutoring center and learn some study skills that will lead you to success.</p>

<p>This is important not only for your current major but because whatever major you want to switch into may not accept you if you let your grades slip too low.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, you need to have an honest talk with your parents. If you can show them that you’re truly doing your best but either cannot succeed in your current major or dislike it so much that you are willing to make alternate plans (including possibly financing the rest of your studies on your own if they won’t help), they may well come around.</p>

<p>As a parent who is sacrificing greatly to pay college tuition, I would want to know that my money is being wasted. Please take some time to think through the big picture here. You need to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with your parents.</p>

<p>Do some soul searching…is it just the major, or is it college studies in general that are the problem? Are you making good grades and enjoying your general ed required courses? Are you being a responsible student and doing homework assignments daily for those basic courses? If not, it may be that you are not college ready at this point in your life. </p>

<p>I would meet with an advisor in your current major, or in your desired major, and talk through your options. If you are about to get kicked out of school entirely, this whole discussion about what your major should be in not a priority. Decide if you need to leave school entirely, or come up with a realistic plan for being responsible and choosing to buckle down and do the work.</p>

<p>Are you struggling with physical/emotional/mental issues? Your school should have counselors and nurses that can help you determine if you need help in those areas.</p>

<p>Then meet with your parents and lay it out for them. If you have to leave school, make a plan for getting a job, and maybe taking one course at a time at a community college. But know that leaving school doesn’t have to be a Forever decision. You can choose to make a comeback when you are ready.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you as you face these tough decisions. The fear of change is worse than the actual change.</p>

<p>Thank you everyone for your replies.
To answer some of the questions…</p>

<p>No, no one forced me to choose my current major. I was all enthusiastic about it till I actually started learning. I was doing well in the first couple of semesters but then as time went on and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I started realizing the things I’m studying are not even remotely close to the things that I want to do.</p>

<p>Yes, there is another major that I prefer…but switching to that is not going to be easy. It may even require me to start everything over. That would be 2 years wasted (I actually do not mind, but I don’t know how my parents will react to this…this is what scares me…because they usually talk about my graduation and how long I have left to graduate…etc)</p>

<p>I agree about the fact that pulling an all-nighter is not an ideal way to study BUT some of the classes that I’m failing in are the ones that I attend well, take notes and do assignments in. I rarely skip classes.</p>

<p>I tried talking to my academic advisor but he wasn’t at all helpful.</p>

<p>Once again, Thanks for your helpful responses!</p>

<p>For the major you would like to switch into, have you determined from its requirements whether you could graduate in the normal number of semesters, or how many extra semesters you would need? Obviously, your parents might not be pleased at needing extra semesters if they are paying for it (especially if scholarships or financial aid run out).</p>

<p>OP-- get yourself over the counseling center NOW. Do not wait another minute.</p>

<p>You need three things:
1- a plan for finishing out the semester by passing all your courses.
2- a plan for moving forward in a discipline you like better than the one you are in
3- a communications plan and a practical “here’s what I’m doing” checklist for your parents.</p>

<p>If your academic advisor wasn’t helpful, go get an appointment with a Dean of Students or the Dean of Undergraduate advising. NOW.</p>

<p>You need to salvage the current semester before you get ahead of yourself and start fantasizing about starting over, taking two extra years to graduate, etc. Since you’re proving to yourself your Grade A skill at procrastinating (remove the word “all-nighter” from your vocabulary going forward), don’t let your new fantasy of ditching your major and starting fresh with one you love distract you from reality… you have to pass your courses this semester. </p>

<p>I promise you… you will have a much better dialogue with your parents when you’ve got a completed semester behind you (regardless of your grades- passing is passing, and the credits count towards graduation) than if you have to try and come up with a plan after having failed. Offense, not defense, right???</p>

<p>OP–Listen to Blossom. What great, practical advice!</p>

<p>blossom, you’re right, I’ll do as you said. Thank you very much!</p>

<p>And thank you everyone!</p>

<p>Also, realize that in the post-college world, many people have careers that are entirely unrelated to the subject matter of their college degree. For example, my nephew the English major works for an investment bank, and my neighbor down the block has a degree to teach high school science–but she manages the HR department of a Fortune 1000 corporation.</p>

<p>So don’t worry so much about the title on your degree, but just that you need to get one.</p>

<p>ditto on Blossom’s great comments.</p>

<p>Bottom line is that you will wind up telling your parents sooner or later.
Isn’t sooner, when you can still do something about it either with their help, or at the very least their support, a lot better??</p>

<p>As a father of one at college now, I would say you have to be true to yourself. Ultimately, it should be your happiness in your career choice that is the most important, not necessarily the name of the major or the course of study or even the length of time it takes to get to the goal. But it needs to be YOUR goal that you acheive.</p>

<p>I agree totally with blossom.</p>

<p>Also, remember that:
(1) if your academic advisor is not helpful, you may change or seek out another professor or departmnet head who might be helpful (either formally changing advisors or informally consulting another professional).
(2) many schools will have an academic success center or vocational assessment center that can assess your strengths and weaknesses and advise accordingly.
(3) remember that right now your GPA is more important that what class it is. Is it too late to “drop” the “F” class without the garde affecting your GPA?
(4) if cost is a major issue in additional semesters (you said you don’t mind the extra time but your parents might) … then consider taking the extra classes you need during a summer session, perhaps at a community college close to home to “make up” some of teh hours … just make sure the credits will transfer to your “Mother Institution.” You may not have lost two full years, as some of your previous (passed) classes may count as electives in teh new curriculum and some of your basic core classes (English, math, humanities) might overlap or be required for BOTH.</p>

<p>And finaly, I would say as a parent who is paying, I WOULD NOT CONSIDER MY MONEY wasted, not if in the end my child discovered his true passion and excelled in his field and was HAPPY. But please do talk with advisors and vocational advisors about job opportunities within your new major or field of study to make sure there is a practical career path with marketable skills, demand, reasonable pay, etc. Leaving enginerring to pursue art, for example, may not work out.</p>

<p>My personal experience- In college I was chugging along in my major and doing quite well. Then in junior year I realized that my major wasn’t what I thought it would be, that I was not going to succeed in that major, and I needed a new plan fast! I met with professors, advisors and many others that I had never had the need to meet before. I dropped the course I was failing, changed my major to something I enjoyed and was good at, I used my electives to finish pre-med and then took a year off and went to medical school. Many times in life you will need to step back, reassess, and react. This is one of those times. Buckle down and good luck.</p>

<p>

Yes, it is too late for me to drop the “F” class now. And my GPA is going to drop.</p>

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<p>are you saying what matters is that I get a degree and not the title? How about my GPA, how important is that? I mean, if I continue on with my major my GPA will not be very good.</p>

<p>Anyway I’ll try to talk to people at my school and eventually tell my parents.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone.</p>

<p>In the real world, other than for specific professions, such as engineering or accounting, the major on your degree doesn’t matter as much as your skill set. For example, my BFF’s daughter has a degree in sociology, and she does logistics for a freight company. One person has an English degree and works for an investment bank. One of my son’s female friends has a history degree and she does project and event planning for a major non-profit in DC. </p>

<p>Sometimes I think that the problem is that a lot of young people (and sometimes their families too) really don’t have a grasp on all the kinds of good jobs out there. In high school, you just don’t hear about jobs like managing logistics or HR, or event planning, or policy analysis, or pharmaceutical sales, or corporate compliance etc.</p>

<p>Your GPA is somewhat important…but not always. The GPA needed to graduate is what is important. While some employers may screen for GPA not all do… and generally, once you have your first job, no one ever cares about your GPA ever again–they will care about your experience and your professional reputation.</p>

<p>Even if the deadline for dropping the “F” class has passed, you must still have the option to “withdraw” . A W on your transcript is much preferable to an F and it doesn’t affect your GPA.
Go meet with your adviser ASAP and, as Blossom said, meet with counselors and advisers this week.</p>

<p>If my child was in this situation, this is what I would want to see:</p>

<p>1) How to save this semesters grades.
A) Talk to the professor about your grades. Is it still possible to pass.
If so, how you can change your study habits to make that happen. Join a study group, go to office hours, get a tutor.
Discuss with advisor/professors the impacts of withdrawing</p>

<p>If my child was in this situation, this is what I would want to see:</p>

<p>1) How to save this semesters grades.
A) Talk to the professor about your grades. Is it still possible to pass.
If so, how you can change your study habits to make that happen. Join a study group, go to office hours, get a tutor.
B) If not possible to pass, Discuss with advisor/professors the impacts of withdrawing</p>

<p>2) What is your plan for finding a new major.
A) Go to career office and see if they have a test/inventory that helps figure out the best major for you.
B) Talk to your advisor
C) Talk to your the professor in your favorite class
D) Talk to someone in Counseling to make sure this is not a depression type issue or because you are spending too much time on another activity and not enough on studying
E) How will you make sure that you like this major for real? Can you take an intro class first? Can you do some work for a Prof in the area this semester while you find out if you really like it?
F) Why can’t you continue on with this major?</p>

<p>3) Find out your plan for new major
A) Do you really have to start all over again? Cannot some of these classes be used for open electives?<br>
B) Is there some aspect of your previous major that could be reused?
e.g., if you were majoring in Math and now you wanted to switch to Biology, can you use any Statistics that you did in math for that? Or concentrate in Bio Informatics or something?</p>

<p>4) Find out the effect on graduation
Tell me how this will effect your graduation date.
Tell me what jobs and the prospects for jobs will be available with this major.
Tell me how much this will cost and what is your plan to contribute to this.</p>