Help! Im An Unhappy Junior!

Parents Forum
1

<p>My parents are the worst when it comes to my college education. It feels like they're either really cheap and they don't value the quality of my education or they really like to make my boring! </p>

<p>You see, I'm really interested in attending a college out-of-state. I haven't had much time to actually research in-depth as to which particular schools I want to attend, but I have a feeling it would be University of Chicago, Caltech, NYU, etc.;what's more is that I want to major in something like Italian or Mathematics; science just seems so mundane. </p>

<p>When I informed my parents about my decision, they insisted that majoring in something such as Italian would be a waste of my time. Can you believe that? They fail to realize that liberal art majors do become "somebodies"; a major in Art History for example can lead to jobs in law, or international business. I tried to persuade them out of their ignorance every single time; I simply explain to them that it isn't true, but they never believe me. What I really don't understand is when they say the reason why I can't attend a school out-of-state is because "we don't have enough money." BS! I know many classmates who have parents who make 30,000 a year and yet allows their children to go anywhere they want! Its as if they totally ignored the whole aspect of financial aid. </p>

<p>SO I can't go to the school of my choosing and I can't the major/minor I desire. Instead, they will only pay for an education in Nova, which is not the best school around, especially with my Old SATs scores (1280) and New PSAT scores (198). My only option is NOva and to study Pharmacy in there and let me tell you, I despise AP Chemistry at the moment and science in general. In fact, I don't think I ever enjoyed science.... I mean, there was this one time in 10th grade where I did well on it, but I don't think I became enamored with the subject... Italian on the other hand....</p>

<p>But it gets worse. I have been invited to various summer programs: Brown, ACIS, and Sewanee. They all look wonderful and they are all great opportunities to learn, get college experience, and finally know what I really want to major in college. But do you know how my parents replied? with a big NO! I mean, I begged them and did all I can to enroll in one, but they still remained recalcitrant! I mean, Brown U. is an Ivy league school for crying out loud! I mean, I understand money is a problem, but the one from Sewanee is FREE! No tuition, no board fee, etc.! I mean all these programs have finanacial aid anyway! What is wrong with them? It's like they don't even want me to learn, just stay home, lose weight, and just get an education just so I can make cash. Isn't there more to life? This is ridiculous!</p>

<p>In fact, all this arguing about what major I should take has got me all confused. Now I don't know what to choose. I wanted to be this, but beacuse of that, I now wanted to be this.... I don't know. I feel like giving up. ADvice anyone? Maybe some condolences?</p>

2

<p>Can you have a guidance counselor or teacher speak with them?Someone who maybe knows your intersts and areas that you excel in. They would also be able to speak with them about financial aid available. Your parents may not know what is available.There are also many outside scholrships you can apply for.They usually require an essay and list of activities and transcripts from your high school. Maybe they just don't want you to go out of state becuase they want you nearby. It is a difficult transition when your child leaves for college. I would try the teacher or counselor route- Maybe schedule a meeting with them and have your parents meet at the school to go over some of the summer programs and colleges with majors that you are interested in. If you cannot go out of state for your undergraduate degree plan ahead for graduate school.</p>

3

<p>bio-f:</p>

<p>I'm not clear as to your financial situation, but one suggestion is to go onto the collgeboard website and use their financial estimators. By plugging in your parent's income, you can estimate what sort of aid you might be eligible for, which you could share with your parents.</p>

<p>btw: Italian is probably not Caltech's strength. :)</p>

4

<p>I don't have any rock-hard solutions but my parents were not able to afford the college I wanted to go to, let alone any college (in-state, out-of-state, private, whatevet). My only other option was to finance it on my own. I went to an Ivy League for two years before transferring. At my new school many of the kids work in order to pay for their tuition. It's a hard life but they don't have much of a choice. They are fortunate because the school is conducive to students who need to have jobs outside of school. But I have used loans and summer internship earnings to pay for school. My parents were able to afford the travel expenses but not things like books and laundry money.</p>

5

<p>bio_freak,</p>

<p>I can't really comment on the financial part, but on the Major I'd try and explain to your parents why you want to major in it. I get the impression that they are worried you will go to college for 4 year and it will cost them a bunch of money, but you will not be able to find a job after graduation. My mom always gives me the same type of response when I tell her what I want to major in "That's nice son, but what job will that lead to after college?"</p>

<p>"</p>

6

<p>Here's a great resource for everyone:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.careers.ucr.edu/Students/CareerPlanning/MajorSheets/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.careers.ucr.edu/Students/CareerPlanning/MajorSheets/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>For each major, it lists the type of jobs you could go into, the nature of the work, and places of employment for that major. It's great!</p>

7

<p>As a parent of a poli sci/philo "you want fries with that" major, I went the route of major in something of interest with my son, because I believe the core classes in his liberal arts will enable him to compete in the job market. I was an Art History major/Chemistry minor--thought maybe I would like to clean and restore paintings. My first job was at a newspaper--writing and editing. Not every major has a job attached to it, and some jobs have yet to be created. </p>

<p>On the flip side, I can see that your parents might be concerned with making a huge financial investment with no job waiting at the end. But really, nobody is guaranteed a job after graduation.</p>

<p>I echo the above poster who suggested you try using an EFC calculator to see what your contribution might be. You then might select some schools that meet 100% need, or offer merit scholarships that would bring the cost in line with what they currently have planned. If you offer viable options, they may be more inclined to let you apply to some out of state schools in addition to the in state schools.</p>

8

<p>BTW: I forgot to mention, I want to major in Political Science</p>

9

<p>Questbridge has a great program for low income families, including scholarships for summer programs, one of which is offered at Stanford. </p>

<p>With regard to a major - most college students change their major 2-3 times, so you could compromise with your parents, i.e., plan to double major or, minor, and plan of a minor in Italian, while also looking at math or some other major that your parents feel is more valuable.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

10

<p>Perhaps propose to them how you would work and take out loans in order to pay for college. Maybe if they see how you are willing to make sacrifices for this, they will soften a bit. It's worth a try. Good luck!</p>

11

<p>Bio_freak,
Until you take the time to throughly think through what you want in your college experience, and until you take the time to thoroughly research colleges, you will not have the documentation needed to convince your parents.</p>

<p>For instance, right now, what you're saying doesn't add up. CalTech and NYU are very different schools, and Italian also is very different than majoring in math. I doubt that an Italian major would choose to go to CalTech because I highly doubt that institution even has that major.</p>

<p>Right now, you also don't know what options are really available to you because you haven't taken the new SATs. While your PSAT scores were OK, they don't look high enough for CalTech or many other schools.</p>

<p>In addition, it's not clear why you want to go out of state. Just to get away? If so, that's probably not a good enough reason from your parents' perspective if your state offers excellent and affordable educational opportunities.</p>

<p>If, though, you want to go out of state simply to experience a new place, I strongly suggest that you look for schools that are likely to offer you merit aid. Another option would be for you to plan to be in ROTC or to take out loans so as to pay a major share of the difference between your dreams and what your parents agree to pay. </p>

<p>Also, take the time to examine colleges' financial aid and merit aid information. NYU, for instance, is not known for generosity when it comes to financial aid. </p>

<p>I don't know what the free program was at Suwanee, but did you even apply to it?
It might be easier to convince your parents to let you go if you had an actual offer. I also doubt that the program takes up the entire summer, so if you got in, it might be possible for you to meet your as well as your parents' goals for the summer.</p>

12

<p>Bio- Freak,
Lighten up. You're a junior. This is the time to be visiting schools not, "informing your parents of your decision". Okay, that's not a direct quote but close enough. Sounds like you're saying that you are smarter then Villanova but according to the National Center for Education Statistics, 75% of this year's freshman class at 'Nova had an avg. 1340 SAT. </p>

<p>I realize when people read a posting to a bulletin board it's hard to interpert tone but to me it sounds like you assume your parents are totally uninformed and not real smart. "I tried to persuade them out of their ignorance every single time; I simply explain to them that it isn't true, but they never believe me." Perhaps you just need to investigate the information that you've been given on this board and listen to them. Communication is a two way street.</p>

<p>good luck!</p>

13

<p>"Sounds like you're saying that you are smarter then Villanova but according to the National Center for Education Statistics, 75% of this year's freshman class at 'Nova had an avg. 1340 SAT."</p>

<p>He's not talking about Villanova. He's talking about Nova Southeastern University in Florida, which is private and costs about $14,000 a year. It's very career-oriented with a handful of majors and not difficult to get into. Average SAT score hovers around the 900-1000 area.</p>

14

<p>Oops sorry, never heard of it. Still needs to lighten up : )</p>

15

<p>to the OP: basically you're probably screwed. Screwed in the sense that the entitlement you seem to think of as a birthright, that you get to pick a college and your parents pony up somehow probably isn't going to happen.</p>

<p>Fact is, I agree with your assessment of the potential of various liberal arts majors, the advantages of good colleges, and so on. You should of course see if a counselor or someone can explain the financial aid assistance to your parents, but I'll bet that won't change their mind. They are coming from the vocational training side of the tracks, where some kids go on and become mechanics or something, and a few luckier ones go to a "college" where they learn a marketable skill such as pharmacy (the one you're parents seemed to have picked for you). If you asked and got an honest answer, I think you'd find they think a liberal arts major is for rich kids who don't have to worry about their future. </p>

<p>So what are the odds of persuading them to change their mind on the purpose of higher education? Pretty slim, I'm afraid. Now here is the point of my post, where I explain my opening sentence that hooked your attention. Life isn't fair. But it doesn't matter is life is in some sense fair, its what are you going to do about it? Your original hope is likely doomed. Now comes the test of character. Your character, BTW. You can p*ss and moan, bend to their will and live the rest of your life cursing your bad fortune. Or you can do something else. You can probably put yourself thru your state university with work and some loans. And you can even spend the 1st 2 years at a CC, which is practically free. You can perhaps strike a deal with your parents in which they fill out the forms but contribute nothing; you either take out loans or earn their entire EFC. If you do this, maybe they'll let you make your own choice of college. You can join the military, which gets you out of the house (and you qualify automatically as financially independent when you finish your service), plus you can save money while in the service. </p>

<p>Unless you change your parents mind (hich is unlikely) your alternatives are not that attractive, but they are alternatives nonetheless. When you consider the misfortune that some people face, from crippling disease, from poverty, from discrimination, and so on, you should really be singing a psalm that this is the problem you face.</p>

16

<p>Yeah, you're so right mikemac. Power to you man.</p>