I’ve been in a high school where there are many cliques and it’s impossible to break their barrier and join. As a result, I’ve spent a lot of my high school time wandering alone through the halls even though people would consider me ‘popular’ because I do have many random friends. I’m currently a senior and I was wondering if college would be like this because I’m pretty much fed up of this. I think people here are so shallow and just don’t accept anyone else. I’ve also never had a girl friend in high school. Would this all change in college? Can you describe your experience of college and of the transition from high school to college?
Much appreciated 
Hey there,
I’m a senior too I’ve had a somewhat similar situation (nice accidental alliteration, huh?) and when I was choosing colleges I specifically tried to avoid places that I felt would have a cliquey high school vibe. I specifically crossed one school off that seemed ideal because it has a snobby rep and I know that I don’t want that. I guess it depends on the places that you’re applying to, but in general I’d say that since colleges are much bigger than high schools, there won’t be the same rigid social scene where everyone knows everyone and it’s hard to move around. There’s also more ways to meet new people. Good luck!
Thanks for your answer and it feels good to know someone out there is on the same boat. Are you applying to colleges in California?
I was very similar in high school. I had many friends, but no really close friends. Everyone assumed I was very popular, but I just talked a little bit with everyone. Now at college, I have definitely made some close friends. It is totally different! There are just so many people that you’ll find everyone may share some friends, but also has some outliers. For example, many people may have close friends with their dormmates, but then they all have their separate “branches” leaving the dorm. It creates an awesome dynamic where you can have close friends and even meet some acquaintances!
That’s very good to hear. However, I won’t be dorming xP
In college, cliques are rebranded as sororities/fraternities.
lol, my college doesn’t have sororities/frats, but its still super clique-y. thats why i’m transferring after this semester ends (among other reasons)
my high school is pretty cliquey as well, and it’s been a factor that has contributed greatly to my social anxiety for the past couple of years. It’s the reason why I’d echo the sentiment that bigger college = bigger student body = fewer cliques.
At some larger schools, cliques form because people want to be part of a group. And as noted, the cliques could be institutionalized by Greek life. Sometimes at smaller schools, the community is more fluid because people tend to know each other and have chosen the school because of its community. And at a smaller school, students have multiple roles. A football player may play in the orchestra, swimmers may do theater, and as a result, people know each other and move in different circles. You can’t really generalize based on size. If this concerns you, ask people what they’re involved with, where they met their friends, what they do on weekends and with whom, what kind of orientation the school has, etc. Look for signs that people follow their interests, not their friends.
I feel like college is significantly less clique-y than high school. I attend a large public university and it was liberating to escape into the large student body to get away from a lot of high school acquaintances (of course I’ve stayed in touch with my closest high school friends). The main difference is that in high school, there are these really distinct categories of the jocks, the popular kids, the nerds, the geeks, etc. etc. In college, that just doesn’t exist anymore, especially at a large college. You will probably end up being friends with people with some similar interests or personality or sense of humor and so on, but that’s more being friends with someone you like rather than you being confined to a clique.
I guess I sort of divide my friends up by the people I met through the dorms and people I’ve met through classes? Because the friends that I’m living with are the ones that I generally go out on the weekends with/see outside of class the most, but I also have good friends that I mostly interact with in class or during homework sessions, and those friends don’t know my other friends at all. But that’s not really clique-y, that’s just how I mentally organize my social life to make my own life easier lol.
I never had time, and most other students didn’t, either. Everyone was too busy to worry about it.
It’s good to see the changes that are in college. I’m hoping to meet diverse individuals and those who I can connect with.
No, I’m staying in the northeast. Are you only applying to places in California?
Yes, only California.
Hope it works out well
Anybody else have any experiences?
Anytime there is a large group of people it is inevitable that groups form. However, my experience (years ago) and my kid’s experience (much more current) is that things are generally more fluid in college and that most people have multiple friend groups. For example you can have a group of friends who you live with, another group who have the same major and that you take a lot of classes with, a third group from an activity you are involved in etc. Plus you will be getting a fresh start after years with the same people at the same HS which is a great thing for many people.