<p>Very troubling. Sad sign of the times. People all benefit more from relationships than casual encounters with superficial intimacy. Am surprised this site has been allowed since 2005! Never knew it existed. Can’t imagine expecting $5-10k per month for a “relationship” but I guess it takes all kinds. Would be shocked and appalled if I knew any of the young people seeking “sponsors.”</p>
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<p>But in the absence of decent relationship prospects, many of them settle for hookups. Sad, but true.</p>
<p>In my part of the country, the engagement rings are flowing by senior year of college. A good family friend just broke up with her bf because he wanted to get married and she was not ready. Of course, we are in a blue-collar, Midwestern town with a median income of $45,000 so the demographics are far different than the average CC parent thread participant. </p>
<p>It is not something I want for my DS, but it is apparent at his college as well. Three of his fraternity brothers got engaged over winter break (and they are NOT from steel mill towns). Two are on their way to law school and another has a job lined up at Chicago Board of Trade. </p>
<p>Most of my friends in the Bay Area are just starting to have kids in their 30s and 40s so it is a different world.</p>
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<p>exactly. And this is why I could see a young woman preferring the older man situation. It’s not like it’s “this” or a great relationship. It’s hookups or “this.”</p>
<p>that’s what I find sad.</p>
<p>It is a different world in HI too. Very few engagements marriages among the young people we know. Most get married in mid or late 20s or even 30s. I was 28 when I married in the mid 80s. I think people choose partners more wisely when they are a bit older and in the work world for a few years. Of our kids, relatives and friends’ kids. Very few are married in their 20s.</p>
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<p>No, it’s not! There are not only two choices. There ARE decent guys out there…and plenty of young women are willing to hold out for them rather than sacrifice their time and dignity on shallow hookups.</p>
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<p>I have an almost-17-year-old daughter and no, of course I don’t support this idea for her, any more than I’d support her joining a gang, getting pregnant at this stage in her life, dropping out of school, cheating, etc., etc., etc.</p>
<p>But that has nothing to do with the FACT that this phenomenon exists. We can all sit in front of our computers and tsk, tsk, tsk, but it is what it is.</p>
<p>Not every woman thinks of hooking up as a negative. Seriously! Just because you (general) do doesn’t mean all women do. They don’t feel hook ups compromise their dignity. In fact, some even feel empowered by it.</p>
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<p>I know. Both of my daughters have terrific boyfriends, and neither of them are in the hook up game. When they are single, they insist on dates.</p>
<p>In fact, my oldest’s boyfriend told her that she had a reputation of being very hard to get, even for a date. She won’t date players, is all. </p>
<p>But, I could see how some girls could get see it differently, is all. I know there are plenty of girls who aren’t getting ANY of what they want. They might decide they want to try something else. Well, obviously, some do try something else.</p>
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<p>the studies say 2% of women prefer the hookup culture. 17% of men prefer it. I’ll try to find the study. I’m really not making a value judgement. If somebody wants this, either hooking up, OR a sugardaddy? I don’t care. But, it’s not what most young women want, not even you.</p>
<p>I am just glad that there a lot here that still find this upsetting and somewhat alarming. Am hoping my kids won’t think there are only casual relationships or prostitution otherwise I really fear for the future on many levels.</p>
<p>i agree with romani (especially comment #15). </p>
<p>some of these other comments are comical. why are people always judging and trying to control the sexuality of other people (especially the sexual activity of women!)?</p>
<p>well, for me, I don’t want to judge or control anything. I think women have to find a way to get some of what they want out of life. I’m really not that concerned with how they do it.
Just THAT they do it.</p>
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<p>Or IME plenty of women at my and my friends’ colleges were doing what we were all doing…concentrating on academics, career preparation, making the most of our college experiences, and otherwise expanding our horizons. </p>
<p>All factors we’ve felt and seen could be severely limited by being in a relationship at that point of our lives. </p>
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<p>Speaking of some women I knew at my LAC, they participated in hookups because frankly, they wanted sex without the burdens/headaches of having a relationship at that point in their lives. Reasons no different than ones male students had for participating in the hookup culture. </p>
<p>While it’s not something I was into personally, they were all quite forthright and comfortable/happy with their choice at the time. Incidentally, they’re all married or in the process of getting engaged at the moment. </p>
<p>While it’s not something I’m into…I fully respect their right to make the best choices for themselves.</p>
<p>Sorry poet, I deleted my post. My apologies 
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<p>The important part of my post was that I feel we should live and let live. </p>
<p>That and I think the hook-up culture is way over-hyped.</p>
<p>I guess if NOT being in a long term satisfying relationship was so satisfying, we wouldn’t have so many people on dating websites trying to find someone to be satisfied with. Relationships take time, work and commitment. In this age of “fast food” everything, maybe this is why some people want it their way, right now, easy and cheap.</p>
<p>No worries, Romani, I actually know what you mean, anyway.</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with people who engage in casual hookups if that’s what makes them happy. I do have a problem with young women going into the business of prostitution for the sake of affording sky high tuition. (Wasn’t there a Law & Order episode about this years ago?) And I certainly expect my daughter to use better judgment.</p>
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<p>I agree with you that a lot of men who do this probably are genuinely creepy and possibly dangerous. And of course I wouldn’t support this for my own child. Daughter or son: my son is 22, and gets approached by men in their 40’s and even older all the time online, on places like OKCupid and elsewhere. Whatever they’re approaching him for, on whatever basis, I don’t approve! Fortunately – although he loves to tease me about things like this because he knows how I get! – he thinks it’s creepy, too. He thinks it might not only be because he’s young, but also because he’s very small for a guy, and that maybe they want to pretend he’s even younger than he is or something. Shudder. (And, no, I don’t think gay men are any more interested in people who really are underage than straight men are. But a lot of men, gay and straight, single or married, seem to like very young partners. How anyone could be interested in someone young enough to be their own child, I don’t get at all.)</p>
<p>And the grand prize sugar daddy winner is Mrs Crystal Hefner, wonder how much she is earning.</p>
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<p>Age old question: It’s easy to see what December sees in May, but what does May see in December?</p>
<p>Answer: CHRISTMAS!!</p>