<p>I'll be moving in early for EXPLORE NOLA in one week and I'm completely freaked out and having all these second thoughts. Tulane is over 2000 miles away from where I live and I had been so excited to attend when I committed and even at orientation but now that it's actually real I've come to realize that I'm not as ready to leave home as I thought. Over the summer I've come to find that the city I live in is actually really cool and I'm going to be really sad to go. I constantly get all these second thoughts like maybe I should have chosen to attend my state school instead because it's beautiful and has so many great opportunities that I'm giving up. I'm so worried that Tulane and New Orleans won't have the same opportunities and in a smaller sized school I won't be able to find people I connect to (especially because a lot of people in my class seem to only care about partying). I'm sure that once I go there I will love it but is this a normal thing to be feeling? Has anyone else had the same experience? </p>
<p>I think what you are feeling is completely normal! It’s a huge step and you will be very far away. We are 1200 miles from Tulane and I know my son will not be coming home until Christmas. Most of his friends are staying local or at least within driving distance of home so I know he will miss not being a part of that too. </p>
<p>Tulane has so many opportunities. Try to think of all the reasons that got you excited about Tulane in the first place! And please be assured there are other like minded students who are not into the party scene. Sure they seem to be the overwhelming majority but there are others that won’t be drinking and partying all the time- my son being one of them! We are headed down Saturday for Explore NOLA, and i’ve heard that this is such a great experience- getting to meet new friends early, moving in early, getting comfortable with the campus and exploring the city a bit. Get involved in all the Welcome Weekend activities, sign up for the River Cruise, get out with the people you meet for Fridays at the Quad, sign up for some clubs that interest you, sign up for Outreach NOLA (huge community service event). Hopefully you will find yourself so busy and having so much fun that you don’t even have time to think about your friends at home. And that is the key- getting involved and creating your new life, not thinking about what everyone back home is doing! You fell in love with Tulane for a reason, now give her a chance to show you that you were not wrong. Good luck to you! Maybe we’ll see you down there during move in on Monday! Have a safe trip! </p>
<p>My daughter is excited, terrified, overwhelmed and every other emotion you can experience. It’s hard to move into an entirely new situation, but, remember, your friends are moving on too! While they might be more local they will not be returning to your high school, life will be changing for them. You picked Tulane for many reasons, now is the time to see it through. It is not jail, if it doesn’t work out you can transfer, but first give it a try! And, by the way, my daughter is not a huge partier, out of the 1600 incoming freshman I am sure you will find plenty of new friends who think the way you do.</p>
<p>Exactly! And I’m sure many if not all the other incoming freshmen are having the same feelings. There are only a very few who may know someone there already, someone from there school or area. Everyone is starting off in the same situation. </p>
<p>@silvertippedcities -
Dozens of people, if not hundreds, every single year. So normal.</p>
<p>Also, the partying crowd (and by that I mean hard partiers) is much smaller than it seems by looking at the Facebook page or whatever. It is WELL known that the people that party a lot are far more vocal about it than people that only do it moderately or not at all. You will indeed find people that share your interests easily.</p>
<p>I completely agree with everything said above, but just know it is possible you will still feel homesick for a few weeks after moving in at Tulane. This is completely normal as well. If, after a month or so, you are still feeling more down than you think you should be, Tulane has people you can talk to that can help a lot as well. But 98-99% of the time this feeling diminishes fairly quickly as you meet people, get involved in your classes, get involved in other activities, and quite frankly, as you enjoy your new sense of independence and responsibility. This is all part of moving to the next phase of your life.</p>
<p>I promise you that even the people who appear very confident are freaking out sometimes, too! </p>
<p>College is a great time to get to experience living in a different part of the country and meeting people from all over. You will still get to enjoy all the wonderful things about your hometown on breaks and if you choose to work there after graduation. </p>
<p>In a smaller school like Tulane, it will actually be easier to find your people. Look for the non-party (do you mean non-Greek?) crowd in service and religious organizations as well as the arts. Know that some of your classmates will go overboard with their newfound freedom at first, but many will settle down once they realize that they can’t keep up with academics and still go out every night. Finally, just as you wouldn’t want the party crowd to judge you, keep an open mind about them. </p>
<p>silvertippedcities, My daughter was in the same EXACT position as you last year. Tulane was the ONLY school she wanted to go to but got extremely homesick at first. I laugh because at the beginning of her first semester there were a lot of tears but there were a LOT more tears when it was time to come home. It was not easy at the beginning but she had the best experience and made some amazing friends. She is so glad she stuck it out. As someone mentioned earlier there are a lot of resources at school and my daughter utilized them. My husband constantly tells her his story. He was supposed to go away to school and backed out at the last minute. He is 58 years old and regrets his decision to this day! He went to our state school and did not have a good college experience. ( Not to say that big state schools are bad, I also went to our state school and had the most unbelievable experience. It was where I always wanted to go and it was exactly what I expected.) This can be such an opportunity for growth for you. My daughter has changed so much from going away. She is so much more confident and independent. There is no other city like New Orleans! She loves the people, the food, Mardis Gras of course and all the music festivals. The biggest lesson she learned was that at first, she thought all of her friends from home were having the best time ever at school and made a big huge group of friends immediately. She later found out that most of her friends were homesick at first…nobody is going to post a picture on Instagram or Facebook where they look miserable- social media is very deceiving. They post pictures that make it look like they are having the time of their life and have a huge group of friends from the first day. It’s a sorting process and eventually you’ll find your group of friends. Do you know anyone that goes to Tulane? I’m glad your’e doing the NOLA experience because it will be a small group starting out. Good luck with your first year. Please keep us posted. it’s a normal reaction to get nervous but trust your gut. There’s a reason you chose Tulane!</p>
<p>@silvertippedcities wondering how you are doing? Hope you enjoyed your Explore NOLA week and are feeling more comfortable and happy at Tulane! </p>
<p>Oliver17, can you please explain the resources that your daughter used to help with her homesickness? My daughter is having a hard time right now, and although its only been 5 days, it would be nice to let her know there is somewhere to turn if things don’t improve. We are from the west coast and although she was very excited to attend Tulane, she feels like a fish out of water. She is not a partier, and she says everyone is going out every night and she is sitting in her room alone. I’m sure things will settle down in the next few weeks, but it’s hard for her to see beyond today or tomorrow. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated. </p>
<p>@BELRESIDENT I can assure her not everyone is going out. My son is not going out partying although he does say many people do. He has met people in other dorms (he is in Wall) that don’t party and they had the Activities Fair last night so he signed up for a few clubs and hopes to meet like minded people. Tell her to sign up for the River Boat cruise this evening and the Outreach Tulane tomorrow! She will get a chance to meet other people in school sponsored activities! </p>
<p>I want to emphasize what has been said by others. The first couple weeks of classes are far from typical at any school, including Tulane. It might be a bit more pronounced at Tulane, NYU, Chicago, USC, Miami and similar schools because they are all in locations that have a lot to explore initially. But it will calm down, and the students that choose NOT to party so much (or at all) will begin to find each other through clubs, classes, natural selection, etc. I don’t know if they had the club fair yet (they should have had it yesterday I think), but I encourage those less outgoing to take advantage of this. It is a good way for “like” to meet “like”.</p>
<p>But nothing mentioned so far sounds unusual. It is very important that you don’t let your child get discouraged in the first few weeks. It does take effort on their part to find the best social niches for themselves, but I can absolutely assure you they exist at Tulane. Hard as it is to believe sometimes, it really is no more a party school than those others I mentioned. Well, maybe Chicago is a little less if you believe the anecdotes, but Northwestern is just like Tulane for sure. Kids are kids, and those truly away from home for the first time will behave similarly, no matter what school they are at.</p>
<p>I would not call my D a partier but she has gone out a couple of times, not every night. Last weekend she said if she didn’t go out then, she would never have the chance without having homework to do. And this week, with classes starting, she was in doing work most nights. She has made friends on her floor, through Greenie Camp, and in her classes. I would encourage your D to make some friends. I think feeling like you are a part of something is important. As dolphnlvr said she could try the Riverboat cruise tonight or the Outreach Tulane tomorrow. Who is she eating meals with? Has she met anyone on her floor who is also around? What has your D said about the classes? There are so many things to adjust to, tell her to give herself a chance and take it one day at a time. It just takes one connection to start to feel at home. I hope she finds her way. </p>
<p>Thanks for all the encouraging advice. My daughter attended the Riverboat cruise last night and was planning on attending Outreach Tulane today. She has signed up for several clubs, so hopefully she will connect with other kids with similar interests. She seems to be very happy with her classes, so that isn’t an issue. I think things are settling down a bit and she has made friends with a few girls on her floor. I think is will still be bit rocky for a few weeks, but hopefully things are on the upswing. </p>
<p>Sounds like things are on track already! Her experience so far sounds incredibly normal, and in fact that she has adjusted faster than many. That’s great! I think it is really easy for many to forget how much of a shock to their worlds this transition really is. But it is worth it 99.9% of the time, because it adds a maturity level that is hard to do any other way.</p>
<p>Things will definitely begin to settle down a bit now that classes have started. Even the first week of classes, which my oldest son refers to as “syllabus week,” a lot of students continue to rock on! I would encourage your daughter to reach out to other students in her classes where it is legitimate to work in groups on assignments. Reliable study buddies make fast friends.</p>
<p>@dolphnlvr6 and everybody else, thanks very much for your kind words and help! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had the time to check CC and reply. As far as my experience at Tulane goes, I absolutely LOVED my EXPLORE track and the entire program and I had a wonderful time. My track got extremely close and my track leaders were wonderful. I’ve made friends with lots of other girls on my floor as well as in other dorms as well and I haven’t had a problem finding people to be around. My roommate is wonderful and we get along so well. I’ve also signed up for a bunch of activities like Ultimate Frisbee, Best Buddies, Red Cross Society and am hoping to apply to TEMS, Green Wave Ambassadors and Newcomb Scholars. Everything has been so crazy here and it fluctuates constantly because sometimes I will be having the time of my life but sometimes I still miss home a lot and still sometimes wonder if I made the right choice coming here. I’m a very intense person and I’m worried that NOLA and Tulane will make me lose my edge and slack off on my goals. I’ve gone out to party a good amount and I enjoy it but it is starting to get old for me. But anyways, that’s my slew of updates! Thanks so much for all your responses! </p>
<p>I think it’s awesome that you are getting so involved and feeling more comfortable. As far as the partying goes, it is typical to find everyone playing at the beginning of the semester. But those who are more serious about academics will begin to settle down a bit. I think it sounds like you are doing everything right silvertippedcities. Everyone has to find the right balance for work and play. It sounds like you are on the right track to achieve your goals AND have a good time, and there is nothing wrong with that!</p>
<p>My two cents: please students don’t feel you have failed socially bc you are feeling isolated, alone, unsure, etc while those around you are blissfully happy. Meaningful friendships take time to develop. Extremely happy students are generally faking it. If everyone LOVED the river boat cruise and you didn’t, that’s fine. If everyone wants desperately to be Greek and you don’t, that’s fine. If ExploreNola, frisbee, service day was THE BEST for your roommate but you weren’t similarly moved, please just relax. Obviously, don’t sit in your room all the time! Take time to find your people. It will happen. </p>
<p>@Vitrac - Welcome back, stranger!</p>