Orientation worries

Hi everyone. I’m going to be a freshman at Tulane in the fall and I just had my orientation. It was a depressing experience, to say the least. It seems like a huge party school, more than I ever expected. I was so excited to start school and I feel like all I learned from orientation was how to get to The Boot and that we should drink in moderation during freshman year. I’m not a party girl so it wasn’t exactly an atmosphere that I was comfortable in. I feel like I won’t fit in at all unless I drink, and now I’m seriously doubting my choice to go to school here, even though they have an amazing curriculum for my major that I’m really excited about. I had a lot of options for college but Tulane was the best for me financially and academically, but I never considered the social scene, so now I’m wondering if I made the wrong choice. Are the freshman here really all into partying and is it hard to make friends who aren’t into that sort of scene? And do any of you upperclassmen have advice on how to meet people who aren’t so much into the party scene? I know NOLA is a huge social city but I just feel like this isn’t what I signed up for when I made my college choice.

@TUgreenwave2015

I am not sure what to tell you because I am not sure how you can judge based on a summer visit. I am guessing what you are saying is that most of your fellow orientation attendees were only interested in partying. That hardly seems surprising since there are no classes to attend or other real responsibilities during their first time on their own in NOLA. I am not going to kid you, it will seem that way at the start of your first semester there as well. But this is hardly unique to Tulane. As things progress and the burden and responsibility of exams and assignments starts to weigh on people, it will get less. But it is always there, at any school. Most 18-19 year old people that are on their own for the first time but being financed by someone else and with limited responsibilities will party, with all that means.

But yes, there is a lot you can do to find that sizable group of people that are more like you that don’t want to drink to have fun. There will be various clubs you can join that will attract a similar social group that you desire. You can seek out those that are the most academically serious types, they will be the ones wanting to join the Tulane Scholars program. I think the Honors Program office can help you meet those people. Within your major (or other interests) there might be professional societies you can get involved with. If you are interested, there are religious affiliations just off campus that can help you meet people. I personally know there are Jewish, Catholic, Episcopalian and Lutheran organizations (the last two share a chapel right across from Newcomb Hall and cross corner from The Boot, lol), and I am sure there are others like Baptist, etc… Just be a little patient at the beginning. The first few weeks will NOT be typical. It can take that long or a bit more for you to find your “tribe”.

I have said many times that if everyone that posted on here who expressed your kind of sentiments could only figure out a way to find each other easily from the start, this would cease to be an issue entirely. There are plenty of Tulane freshmen that share your desire to enjoy the school and the city without Greek-style partying. Just take a little initiative, be patient, and you will find them. I speak from experience through my recently graduated D, who didn’t drink at all until her senior year and was not into the party scene of The Boot, etc. She found friends that enjoyed going to plays, movies, the beach on the weekends sometimes, jazz sets, sci-fi marathons, whatever they wanted. You can too.

You should read the multiple threads on this topic but in short: college is what you make it. There are tons of people that party at Tulane and tons that don’t. It may take a little effort on your part but you can find people with like interests at Tulane. Researching the dorms will also help as some dorms lean towards certain activities and functions that may interest you (or not).

A lot of freshmen do want to party when they first get to Tulane (college in general) because it is the first time you are without parents watching every move and you are in a city with a lot to offer. But then reality and classes hit so the “partying” usually slows down. Many people at Tulane are on scholarships so they must maintain their grades.

Basically yes there are those that party but you can find students and activities at Tulane that don’t involve partying. Give it a year and if you still don’t like the university you can always transfer. Best of luck in your future.

Fallenchemist gave some great advice. My son is not a party guy. He does not drink. There are people there like you but you are going to have to make the effort to find them. It’s easy to find the party people! What dorm have you requested? Wall, Patterson, Butler are less rowdy than Sharp and Monroe. I’ve spoken to other parents who also have students that aren’t into the party scene. Some advice- go to Reilly on Friday and Saturday nights when everyone is out drinking. There are always people there working out, looking to start up some pick up basketball games. Get involved in CACTUS, the community service organization or one of the religious organizations if that’s your thing. Check out a whole bunch of clubs an organizations to find people who enjoy the same things you do, get a part time job or work study if you are eligible. Get involved in planning Crawfest or Homecoming or any other number of events. There is A LOT to do a Tulane and you will find people like you.

@TUgreenwave2015 don’t rethink your college choice just based on orientation. As the others have said during orientation and the first semester people will be focused on partying, but for many the novelty will wear off after a while. You will find friends with similar interests. I have seen a number of posts from future Tulane students that say they aren’t into partying so I know there will be a few like minded souls there, including my son. Maybe we should start a Facebook page for Non-partying Tulanians! The advice about where to meet people the above posters have given you is great. Plus you may want to look into the outdoor trips offered by the recreation center. Those look really fun. Good luck.

Superb suggestion.

@annstep they did start a page like that last year, but from what I hear they all ended up being part of the party scene. College…

Behavior of students once they are on their own for the first time is very hard to predict. While I would venture that most stay true to “type”, there are enough exceptions (some of them spectacular flame-outs) that it is no wonder that parents are sometimes shocked beyond description when they find out what their valedictorian has really been up to. It happens the other way around too, where the semi-slacker becomes an academic star as they thrive when given the chance for real personal choice.

This discussion, plus just the long history of these types of posts, has me thinking of some ideas I might suggest to the administration after I formulate them more coherently.

OP – here’s some context for ya.

Stats say that about 80% of all college students drink. So drinking and college go together like ham and eggs. Everywhere, unless you want to consider BYU. That’s just how it is. Really not a Tulane thing.

But that means 20% of college kids don’t drink. That’s a big number too.

The first semester of college is by far the craziest. Kids away from home for the first time in a new place and all that. Your orientation experience may have reflected that dynamic.

Tulane has lots of smart kids who are serious students who need to keep up their grades to keep their scholarships. They wouldn’t continue to be at Tulane if they were on an unending bender.

After having had several different kids at several different colleges (including Tulane), I have to say that the party school thing is no longer in my top 50 concerns for any school. College kids are gonna drink. Or not. The school matters little. If I was still concerned about that, I’d fear an urban campus less than I would a rural frat dominated situation.

Wherever you go, please be extra careful during first semester.

Exactly- a point I forgot to include. Drinking is not exclusive to Tulane. Any college you go to you are going to find people who party. Some, a lot. It doesn’t mean EVERYONE does however.

Thank you all for the helpful replies! You have all made me feel so much better already. I will absolutely take all the advice about joining the different organizations on campus to meet new people. I didn’t meet anyone during orientation that I really “meshed” with, and I think I just wasn’t quite expecting so much partying already before school has even started, so that was what caused me to worry so much.

@dolphnlvr6 - For my dorm choice, I am on the waitlist for Wall but my next choice would be the Butler honors dorm. I think for Butler we will get to fill out a roommate survey but if I get into Wall, it’ll be a random assignment. I’m really hoping whoever my roommate is will be someone I get along with, or else it’ll be a pretty long year ahead. Do you know if Wall’s roommate assignments are completely random, or would they give us at least some kind of choice or survey?

Something else to consider, sign up for a Newcomb Town Mom. It’s a program where freshmen girls are matched up to a Tulane Alum to help them adjust through their first year. Here is a description from one of the Town Moms:

"I’m a “Town Mom” and it is one of my favorite ways to give back to Tulane as a Newcomb alumna. I currently have 5 students, and 2 who graduated that I still keep in touch with!

Town Moms are Newcomb and Tulane alumnae who volunteer to welcome freshman women students to New Orleans. The contact and communication they establish with their student is by mutual agreement. The Newcomb Alumnae Association hosts a Jazz Brunch for “Moms” and students to meet.

Every relationship between a Town Mom and student is unique and personal to them. I can share that the relationship I have with my students has been wonderful! I’ve had the chance to take them to unique eateries in Nola, to haunted houses for Halloween, out to Ship Island in MS, and last spring to the inaugural King Cake festival. I love surprising them with little pick me ups during midterms or exams, valentine’s and other little holidays. And I usually cook way more than my family can eat at Thanksgiving, so setting an extra place setting or two for any girls who stay for that break has been easy to do. Follow the hashtag #TownMom to see what a Town Mom does.

And I love getting to meet their parents and families! I feel like they are my family too."

That sounds like an amazing program! I hadn’t even heard about the Town Moms but it sounds perfect for me and I think I will definitely sign up, thank you so much @dolphnlvr6 !!

What a great program!

Whether your roommate turns out to be like you or your polar opposite compatibility is the key. Don’t fret- some kids change rooms, for various reasons, so nothing is in stone. Go in with a positive attitude and go from there. Tulane is a wonderful place full of amazing opportunities and all kids of people. Give it a chance and you will find your way. Good luck!

My D is going to Orientation next week . She has some of the same worries you do. In high school there was always something going on, but she figured out her balance. I truly believe you will find people who always want to party, never want to party and a bunch in the middle. This happens wherever you go to college and many experience there first taste of freedom. Of greater concern is that the students running the Orientation groups are so focused on the partying aspect.

@TUgreenwave2015

Hey girl, you are totally not alone and I assure you that you did not make the wrong choice choosing Tulane!

I got back from orientation around the same time that you did! We must have just missed each other. I’m assuming you went to June 8th and 9th’s orientation, because that is around the time that you posted this. If so, what group were you in? I was in group 7 and I felt the EXACT same way that you did after orientation. Between the skits that they did and the games that they played, it very much centered around PARTY.

I’m also not a party girl, although I love hanging out and having fun, so I found orientation to be somewhat out of my comfort zone because I too am going to Tulane primarily for its academics and its opportunities.

Like everyone else has said, college is what you make of it! I’m actually thinking about becoming an eventual resident advisor and I’m interested in the Newcomb Scholars program, as mentioned above. It’s reassuring to me that I am not alone in this and neither are you!! I’m also into public service, so that’s my main after school focus.

I’m a local and I’ve never been a fan of partying even if my friends did it. I totally understand and like others said, we just gotta find our niche! We should try to meet up, as it seems we have similar ideals!

Another thing, have you considered signing up for the Tulane Big Sister/Little Sister Program? I just did as it sounds like a great way to connect to an upperclassmen with the same general interests as you.

Also, sorry for the grammatical mistakes. I’m on mobile D;