I have a question about what admissions officers are looking for in supplemental essays (the “why this school essay”). Since most schools give a strict word limit (often around 250 words), how does one condense all they want to say into this world limit? I wrote an essay for why I want to go to my top college, but it is at 370 words—and I still haven’t mentioned half the activities I want to get involved in. I get that I should cut out a lot of “fluff”- but without it, I feel like my essay sounds repetitive and not well-written. But in order to make it sound well-written and high quality, I use a lot of extra words—which means I can talk less about the actual activities/classes I want to take.
So, which is more important? Quality of the essay or information in the essay?
This is probably part of the problem. The essays are an opportunity for the reader to find out more about you. So the essays should sound like you wrote them; they should not sound like you are writing what the reader wants to hear. This is not your opportunity to show that you possess the verbosity of Marcel Proust.
Probably not the primary reason to select a college anyway, but if you feel it’s important, provide a couple of examples, not the laundry list.
Quality. Relevance to you and your interests. That which calls to you.
Do not repeat for them what they already know - the courses they offer, the opportunities for study abroad and impact of their alumni in society and the world, and how impressed with that you are.
Show them a bit of what it is which has that college speak to you at your core.
Be a little creative with your essay; don’t be stodgy.
@Waiting2exhale@skieurope thank you so much for your guys’ help! I managed to cut down my essay to 270 words, so I just have to reduce it a little bit more. Do you guys think it would be okay if I mentioned classes that I am eager to take, because it relates to my interests and my future career plans, even if it seems like I am “repeating what they already know?” I certainly don’t want to seem like I am doing that!
Also, this school is my number one school; they have an ED and EA option, but my parents did not want me to apply ED for financial reasons (as we would not likely qualify for much financial aid but can still not afford the price tag unless I were to get some merit scholarships, which I have applied for). How could I communicate to the school that it is my top choice through the essay? I want to explain that I am almost 100% sure I would attend if I got accepted, but I don’t want them to wonder why I didn’t apply ED then instead, and think I’m lying.
If you’re still including top colleges in your targets, none want a brain dump. They know what they offer and want to see what you’ve picked up on, that you know the college, not just the courses and clubs. And certainly not just your own future career interests or the environment you want (which could be met at hundreds of schools.)
This is not a “best written” contest. And in any case, extra words aren’t what makes good writing. As you’re seeing, it may just make it verbose.
So why do you want college X? If you’ve dug into what they want to see in you, you should be able to answer in 25 words. Then, you add some examples, show your enthusiasm, how you envision yourself there.
It’s fine to say that the X department/program interests you/is relevant to your career/etc. What’s overkill is saying that Econ 347 is a class that you are dying to take; they know what the course catalog contains.
You can certainly say that the college is your top choice (if it is), but don’t give the myriad of reasons you did not apply ED. They know why some applicants can’t apply ED.
@skieurope thanks! This is a silly question, but how should I phrase in the essay that it is my top choice without making it overkill? Would something along the lines of “had I been able to apply Early Deicison, I would have jumped at the chance” work, or should I say something more like “were I to be accepted, I am certain that I would attend, for this college is my top choice”?
And plenty of kids who name courses don’t even realize they’re upper level or not scheduled every year or that a prof is on sabbatical or only works with a small pool of invited kids or grad students.
There’s got to be more reason you want a college than the academics and clubs. Part of your answer can even be casual- something the guide mentioned or the way students interact.
This is a different type of essay. More straightforward and informational, not really story or narrative focused. They are looking to see if you’ve researched the college and understand how what they have to offer matches with you. Focus is on “fit” and guaging your enthusiasm for the school. And it is a chance to say what you bring to the school as well. I’d say prioritize what to include with that in mind.
I would not say you are “certain” you would attend as finances can stand in the way. If you are certain you will attend if accepted then they may wonder why you didn’t apply ED. You might say something like “this is my top choice college and if I am accepted and the school is affordable I will attend” or I would just say it “this is my top choice college” and they will figure out the rest.
@intparent what is the best way to show that I “fit”? Is it enough to mention that I have toured the school and list two activities I would be interested in?
No, I wouldn’t mention you will enroll. Talk is cheap. Lots of kids say a tippy top is their top choice when it’s clear they couldn’t reasonably anwser a Why Us. (Or that they really want Harvard or Stanford.)
And the college expects you already ran the NPC. If we’re talking Penn or other tippy tops, adcoms aren’t involved with FA, won’t be convinced to admit you because, “if it’s affordable.” They could question why you have no idea, why you thought it impolrtant to mention in a 250 word answer . Etc, etc.
Your best bet is to “show” your match and your interest (large or small reasons or the combo.) Not promise something.
It has to “show” that you know the place and are aware why. “Not just tell.”
And they understand not all truly interested kids apply Early. They understand that reality.
It is truly possible to present your best self in your application, not apply ED or EA, and still be accepted.
With so much rush to make sure one is in those camps, and with outcomes that attest to, yes, strong students with powerhouse apps being the cohort who do apply and make up the earliest acceptances, that is not the only story.
If you have a host of reasons to believe you are putting together the strongest application possible for you, and you see the ways in which you fall within accepted norms for those the college/university tends to accept, apply happily.
Allow for a confidence, hopefulness and felicity to be infused into your essays of why this school is right for you, you are right for them, and what you know of their campus and the campus community. (Re-read #8.) They will hear and see the strength of your application if it is there.
My kids listed academic reasons first (cuz – that is why you are going to college). So departments, majors, facilities, professors they met or classes they sat in on. Activities second. If there was space, they talked about what they might bring to the school and how that “fit”, and off campus things. One school gave my kid only 47 words for the “Why X?” essay! In that example, she gave a super straightforward list, something like this - “I would be excited to attend X because of the strong X major, the X college Quiz Bowl team, beekeeping in the campus garden, and the X Thai restaurant right by campus.” It was direct, short, and sweet. Showed her interests and that she had paid attention to what was offered at the school. She got in with merit.
In other schools she mentioned the science tour she got to go on, a class she sat in on, a new building on campus in an area of interest for her, how much she liked one of the wooded campuses, a collaboration one college had with a nearby physics facility, strong grad school placement in her area of interest, the school’s reputation for intellectual rigor and how that fit with a program she had done over the previous summer, some sidewalk art she saw at one campus that matches some of her interests, etc.
She got in everyplace she applied, and I’m pretty sure that personalized “Why X?” essays were a definite factor. But don’t overthink it in terms of structure. Your goal is to show them that you understand and fit at their school. They are wary of students who just tossed in an app as a safety or “just in case” somehow. Your goal isn’t to convince them that your be a worldbeater if you attend there, or to be flowery or super creative. It is to show that your mesh with them, and took the time to figure out how and where.
@intparent@Waiting2exhale so I wrote my supplement and submitted it…but I feel terrible about it. This school is my dream school, and I feel like my essay couldn’t do it justice. I managed to cut it down to 250 words, but once I did so, it seemed generic; I could not convey my sheer passion for the school without going over the word count so it just sounded like “I would join _activity, and ,” etc. without any substance behind WHY I chose this particular school. I wish I could have conveyed more about my passion for this school, but I simply could not find a way to do so. However, I HAVE toured and interviewed with this school on campus, so I’m hoping they will see me as truly interested and disregard my horrible essay. Do you think that a bad “why this college” essay is enough to keep them from accepting me? I just hope I didn’t mess up my chances.
So departments, majors, facilities, professors they met or classes they sat in on. Activities second. If there was space, they talked about what they might bring to the school and how that “fit”, and off campus things. One school gave my kid only 47 words for the “Why X?” essay! In that example, she gave a super straightforward list, something like this - “I would be excited to attend X because of the strong X major, the X college Quiz Bowl team, beekeeping in the campus garden, and the X Thai restaurant right by campus.” It was direct, short, and sweet. Showed her interests and that she had paid attention to what was offered at the school. She got in with merit.