<p>A few thoughts from the future
.my DDs are graduates (10 and 12) of an acronym school and now ensconced in the highly selective Uni of their choice. I know there is a lot of stress about what BS means for the college experience and I thought I would share my perspective since it might be helpful for both current and prospective students and families. It is just one familys experience, and perhaps if there are other post-BS parents lurking they can add their own thoughts. I have split it into two posts before, and after.</p>
<p>On getting in
</p>
<p>There is always a lot of buzz on these boards about getting into ivies from BS. The good news: ivies and other selective colleges do not seem to limit the number of students they accept from a single BS the way they seem to at most PS. In both of my DDs years there were double digits of students accepted at most of the ivies and highly selective LACs. The bad news: Although greater than 30% of my DDs BS got into ivies, 50% of the academic top 10% percent of their class were rejected by all ivies. These were talented kids, leaders in ECs as well as academics. Who made up the difference? Athletes (ivies love varsity preps who they know can make the grade on the field and in the classroom), legacies and development families (there are many more of these at prep schools than at the standard PS kids whose parents are famous or whose last names are brand names).</p>
<p>The best news is that even if they did not get their first choice the vast majority of my DDs friends are thrilled with where they ended up. They advising process, and the general environment at BS make these kids very wise and discerning consumers, and very realistic about their chances at lottery schools. They generally know what they want in a college, are acute observers about the reality of colleges they visit, and having been through the process before are very comfortable with the tests and applications.</p>
<p>On being there…</p>
<p>Every rigorous prep school prepares DCs for the academic requirements. They get to college knowing how to write, how to read carefully, conduct an experiment and write a lab report, and show their work on a math problem. They generally arrive with very few gaps in knowledge or skills. This is what everyone expects of a prep school …but there are other ways that BS kids are uniquely prepped.</p>
<p>As you would expect, these kids already know how to live on their own, and manage their time between work, ECS and fun. There are some who fall victim to over partying in reaction to the loosening of the curfews and rules of BS, but for the most part they understand consequences and have internalized the habits and customs imposed in their HS days. For example, my DDs find themselves unwilling to go to class in sweatpants, and often find themselves inadvertently complying with the formal dress code of their BS.</p>
<p>BS kids also generally do not suffer from the shock of having been the best and the brightest, and suddenly being only one of many best and brightest. They respect the talents of their peers but are not intimidated or overawed by even the most accomplished, and they do not have a crisis of self-esteem when they are not the smartest person in the room. Unlike many PS kids who come from AP race schools, BS kids do not feel they have to compete academically by taking the maximum number of class credits each semester, or pushing to take a higher level of a given subject than their knowledge supports. </p>
<p>BS kids are very comfortable talking to professors, going to office hours and asking for help when they need it. They are very savvy about registration issues, like how to write an email to a professor to get squeezed into a class that is full. They are assertive about pursuing research opportunities and special projects that interest them. They are often successful at winning opportunities because they instinctively know to look someone in the eye and extend a hand when they meet, and write thank you notes after an interview.</p>
<p>My DDs do have a few friends who have had transition issues and are nostalgic for the smaller, simpler, and highly supportive BS community. However, for most the transition is easy, and they know how to squeeze every drop out of the college experience. They have already been through so much of the “growing up” process that many HS kids experience in college. My DDs certainly have a greater appreciation for their BS education and experience, and how it shaped them to be competent and confident students, and adults.</p>
<p>This is great info; thanks for the post. One of the reasons were are interested in BS for our daughter is the social maturity kids gain there. After graduating from an average public high school, I went on to an ivy. This was 30 years ago. One of the 1st things I noticed during orientation week, was that there were so many BS grads, and that all of them were so much more confident in all ways. I was literally in awe of them. They could converse articulately and confidently with adults, and they clearly expected to succeed in college. I, on the other hand, had a lot of growing up to do, socially, and found the transition extremely stressful.</p>
<p>I’m not worried about college for my daughter. Since my ivy undergrad experience, I’ve completed 2 graduate programs, one prestigious, the other rather obscure (chosen for fit and convenience, after I already had a family and wanted a program close to home). Far and away, the best educational experience of the three, for me, was the more obscure program. Also, it’s not a given that a top student, top standardized test scorer, leader, athlete, etc., from a public high school will get into an ivy these days, either. At least that’s the case in our neck of the woods. Stories of such students ending up at their backup college, are commonplace around here.</p>
<p>I don’t see BS as having much of a bearing on where one goes to college…unless it opens the door to major opportunities (such as original research resulting in publication) which were not available in public high school.</p>
<p>1012Mom - great posts -very encouraging. DS is a senior and hopefully will be ready for college and the great beyond. I already see many of the signs that you mentioned.</p>
<p>Thank you, 1012mom, for taking the time to think of us that will be following in your path! This is a great topic for a thread.</p>
<p>Can you comment on how much sleep deprivation and general ‘frenzy of busyness’ your DD’s experienced, both at BS and at college? Are the stories bandied about real, or exaggerated?</p>
<p>Were your DD’s happy with their BS, and are they happy now? Do they have time for fun?</p>
<p>Did they land in college already knowing what they wanted to pursue professionally, or are they able to take their time, experiment, and find their way? I too have a graduate degree, so I try to take the long view, knowing it took quite awhile before I settled on a professional career. I just wonder if kids feel more rushed these days.</p>
<p>Again, thanks for starting this thread. When I am in your shoes with kids in college, I hope to be able to be of similar service, passing down the knowledge of hard-won experience.</p>
<p>@2kidsnoanswers</p>
<p>sorry for the slow reply…</p>
<p>DDs are, and were, too busy and sleep deprived at BS and at college, but always by choice. There are always more things they want to do than they have time for, and they are very, very happy. They do have plenty of time for fun, and often go to parties, performances, and out around the city. Their schedule in college is less predictable and decidedly more nocturnal. Except for STEM, most classes are in the afternoon and things like club meetings and rehearsals can start at 10 PM and go into the early morning, athletic meets are often all day or overnight trips. It makes it a little more difficult to stay in touch with them.</p>
<p>Like most students my DDs and their friends went into college with at least a vague idea of what they wanted to study. When they get to college they get exposed to so many things that are not available in HS like anthropology, neuroscience, quantitative economics, international relations. It generally does not turn STEM kids into humanities kids, but it often causes a directional shift. The exception is the engineers, who pretty much need to start their course sequences from day 1, but that has always been true.</p>
<p>Nice post, 1012mom!</p>
<p>Thank you for filling us in, 1012mom, and so glad it is working out well for your daughters. It’s great to hear that their boarding experiences gave them a solid base, in a great number of ways, for what they are now doing in college. I hope we all have as happy stories to tell with our own kids!</p>
<p>1012mom, your posts are invaluable. It’s really helpful to have a long view from someone who’s BTDT. </p>
<p>I’ve always felt that the lessons of self-advocacy, awareness of the talents of one’s fellows, and discipline that can be gained from a prep school experience are at least as valuable as the academic opportunities. Your posts certainly reinforce that impression (thank goodness ;-)).</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing your experiences with those of us on the path…</p>
<p>1012mom, any words of advice for those who have kids currently in boarding school? Suggestions, recommendations, or warnings from what you’ve observed throughout the process and on to college?</p>