The closest thing my kids ever did to a college essay was doing autobiographies in 5th grade. Bound into cute little books with lots of pictures. Even the rare creative writing assignment would be a short story or poem.
it isn’t a writing test. It may feel like one, but it isn’t.
^^^^This.
Op,
For a Common app essay, what matters most is whether the author’s true voice comes through loud and clear, in an essay that is not boring. If the essay sounds like your kid, and doesn’t sound like any other person, then the essay works. If the essay sounds like it could have been written by someone else, then it is not good.
However, your own thoughts are valid as well. My DD first CA essay was a typical foreign country travel essay, where she tried to make herself come off as a rock star. The GC loved it. To me, it violated Bauld’s essay don’ts “On writing the common application essay” and her personality sounded too narcissistic. I did ask her to write on a new topic. I do read essays on med related apps, so I do have a sense of what we are looking for. But you can also trust your own instincts.
Edit to add: DD pulled out a creative non-fiction essay that she had written years earlier in CR class. It was raw and showed a range of emotions and personality traits. She edited it to work for the CA. It worked better than the travel essay that the GC thought was a great essay. When the GC saw the new essay, the GC liked it even better. I do like Hanna’s comment that the college counselor has probably worked and worked to get this essay out of your kid, so maybe this is the best of all of the options. Maybe your kiddo has some personal narrative writing around for more ideas?
As some have pointed out, she’s writing this for adcoms, not you, relatives, or an English class. Many kids (and families) make the mistake of assuming that what got them good grades in hs writing (structure, proofs, the right bullets, their best vocab and construction, and sometimes, maybe some awful level of self revelation, etc,) is all it takes. The adcoms are looking for something that shows your perspective and judgment, how you think, whether you do think.
It’s not just that “author’s true voice comes through,” but what that voice reveals. A good counselor will know what that is. Some practiced CC parents will know.
In the end, when you’re talking about the most competitive colleges, with all that chance of rejection, what matters is that the kid be satisfied she did her best, whatever she turns out. Imo, while it’s important to guide them, at a point, you back off with the doubts. Let her feel, when she hits Submit, that she gave it her best try.
I didn’t like my kids’ essays, either. (And I read a ot of essays.) But I knew the strengths that mattered had come through.
Hi WannaBe. I think it’s great that you and your daughter went to a professional for help. I work at a college and I can tell you that it’s a very different environment from high school English. My own child’s essay was called “boring” by the high school teacher and given a B. IRL, the exact same essay yielded admissions at 7 of 9 schools and multiple big scholarships. one admissions person wrote “you are a gifted writer” on the side of the admit letter. (thanks for indulging my little brag). FWIW, this essay was not developed with a counselor and it did discuss a significant academic challenge the applicant had faced…in other words it broke some “rules”. try not to get too stressed out. if your daughter and the counselor like it i wouldn’t worry about your relatives’ opinions. unless they happen to be young millenials who work in a college admissions office (the first readers of most of these essays)
If I were in your shoes, and money was not an issue, I would convince my kid to show it to another professional essay consultant to break the tie. A teacher or guidance counselor may not hold as much weight for your child even if absolutely qualified. Don’t mention that you have shown it to other family and friends. My friend paid a professional for her son, his "tutored"essay contained humorous references to a controversial topic, she was concerned, I totally agreed with her concerns, and she made the consultant talk to her son about removing those passages. If your consultant is totally in agreement with your daughter and the other parent shares your concerns, I would be proactive. You are not writing your kids essay, there is no need to back off. You paid for the advice and if you don’t agree with the advice you are being given, you should seek advice from another professional.
IMHO - If it is truly concerning to you as a parent, I would (gently) suggest her showing it to someone from the english department who is currently teaching her or has taught her in the past. It is a free second opinion and may make you feel better. My daughter’s subject matter set off some alarm bells in my mind. I saw the main thread of her essay as being about a sports injury and I had read many times to stay away from the “overcoming adversity” theme when it comes to athleticism. Her AP English instructor felt her approach to the subject was unusual and oversaw her crafting an essay that was funny, sweet, smart and very “her”. The injury and the end of her participation in a sport was actually secondary to the piece and I just didn’t see the possibilities until they were pointed out. After her acceptance her guidance counselor was told that the reader at her future university liked the essay very much.
I read each of my kids’ “main” personal statements because they asked me to. I told each one, “great job” because I really had no idea how to change their innermost ideas and expressions, and they were fine from a technical/grammar perspective having already been vetted by their English teachers.
I never saw whatever they wrote for supplemental/school specific essays.
I will say that I found one of my kid’s statements to be absolutely appalling. I actually thought it was a bit vulgar and off-putting; an attempt at humor that I didn’t think was funny, personally. I said nothing. He got into the best schools out of all of them.
“My daughter has done an excellent job throughout high school and did not need any help from anyone, and won’t in college.”
OP, you have a major issue, and it is not your child’s essay.
YOU MUST stop thinking that your daughter, or anyone else, can and should live life as an island. There is no difference between succeeding while taking advantage of available resources and succeeding by yourself.
It is especially true at Ivy League schools that students MUST take advantage of all resources available. When she goes to college, it will be a detriment to her if she does not:
- introduce herself to each professor early in the semester, and occasionally ask questions after class or during office hours
- take advantage of free tutoring offered at almost every college
- take advantage of free counseling offered at almost every college
- take classes to take herself beyond her comfort level
Did you ever hear of networking? Even if, for example, your child doesn’t need any help from anyone, developing relationships with those with connections is very important in regards to finding and keeping a job.
I just do not get the OP’s attitude, when clearly if the college counselor is involved with the daughter’s essay review, THAT IS GETTING HELP. If she doesn’t need help, why is there a college counselor?
OP clearly wants to give help, wants to use the unsolicited (by her daughter) help of others, and is worried if her daughter doesn’t get help, but then says she “didn’t need help and won’t need help”.
Perhaps OP should read about the sad cases of suicide by college students, who were pushed to perfection and everyone thought they “had it all”. The smartest and most successful people in the world rely on others for help.
I posted previously on this thread. (Post #10) I had decided not to push the issue anymore because I felt it just wasn’t worth it. However my son, after hearing that my husband (in addition to his sister and me) didn’t like the essay, decided to show it to someone he felt was “in the know.” That person also thought it wasn’t a great topic or essay. So he spent the next day writing a completely new essay. …and guess what, we all love it! It is a win-win because he plans to try to use the other essay for something else and everybody, including him, thinks this new essay is great.
BTW I’m not planing to get involved at all in his supplements unless he specifically asks…too stressful!
I think the OP left the room a long time ago…
. . . and is back at work on her child’s essay.
^^ =))
its a good thing I hadn’t just taken a sip of tea when I read that!!!