<p>I have a question regarding level of parent involvement in child's college essay writing. I am aware that some parents get very involved, hire coaches, help write the essays, etc., but I think that the child should do most of it on his/her own, other than some minor editing. On the other hand, if the essay is so critical, can a lack of involvement on a parent's part really put a child at a disadvantage?</p>
<p>Our older child needed almost no involvement - barely let us even see the essays, and did a great job. Our younger child is a math/science kid, and is not much of a writer. He's not terrible (got 720 on the writing section of the SATs on his first try), but not flowery or creative. If parents got involved in coaching him, then his style of writing would not be his own. He keeps getting advice about "show, don't tell", and he is NOT creative, and "showing" is hard for him.</p>
<p>You will get many different opinions on this. It comes down to what you think is right. Note that if the school also does interviews, the essay style had better match the child, or the interviewer will see the difference and frown upon it.</p>
<p>I think parents, or some capable adult should proofread the essay, that is just good practice for any writing. We had our DD start over from her original essay because it just wasn’t flowing right and wasn’t her best work. Her second one was much better. DS has great ideas but has trouble organizing a good paper, so we worked with him on edits, etc. Again, that is just a responsible way to write anything. Doing the actual writing for them or hiring “coaches”, nope, not us.</p>
<p>One book I found helpful for my essay writer was Concise Advice: Jump-Starting Your College Admissions Essays by Robert Cronk. It gave him a step by step process for creating an essay that was personal to him. It’s a short easy read. I’d also recommend you have him read a lot of other people’s essays. That will give him a better idea of what “show, don’t tell” means.</p>
<p>Sue22, we got a book of college essay examples that D2 and I recently reviewed. We both thought the essays were just awful. Which gave D2 some confidence in her essay writing process, I guess. The Cronk book you recommended sounds very helpful, though. Getting a good idea is the hardest part for most kids.</p>
<p>I proofread my son’s college essay and corrected some minor grammatical mistakes, same as he had me do with essays he turned in for school thoughout the year. It’s just helpful to have someone else read what you wrote to see if it makes sense.</p>
<p>For the college essay, he did bring it in to school and have his English teacher take a look at it. He was given a few ideas to make it better, but the rewrites were in his words. I think it becomes pretty obvious if the adults take too much control over the process.</p>
<p>Inparent,
I’ve seen some terrible essays in “how to write the essay” books too. Some colleges post examples of essays they’ve received and liked. You might have better luck there.
What I like about the Cronk book is that it breaks the process down. I think some kids make the mistake of first choosing an essay topic. Almost invariably these kids try to find something that will impress the admissions committee. This is how they end up with the trite “How I Won the Big Game” or “How I Helped Poor People and Learned They’re Just Like Us” essays. The subject is big but the subtext tells little or nothing about the applicant.</p>
<p>The best essays can ostensibly be about anything. At a meeting with a DOA last year she mentioned that her two favorite recent essays were about a table and body hair, not exactly riveting subjects on the surface. But while the surface topic of the essays were not exciting, the real subject was the applicant, and that was exciting. I think the key is to create an essay from the inside out. Instead of thinking of the grand event or theme and then trying to find an incident that fits it, think about meaningful moments in your life then explore what those have meant to you, how they’ve sent you on the path you’re pursuing.</p>
<p>No one expects a math/science geek to use flowery language. Tell him to write like a journalist, using short declarative sentences. He could even start from the perspective of a reporter, writing in the third person about what he has observed of your son’s life. Then he could take these observations and turn them into his first person essay.</p>
<p>I think the role of a parent should be to suggest anecdotes from the child’s past that illustrate some aspect of his personality. Then listen as he reads the finished essay aloud to see if it corresponds to your understanding of him as a person.</p>
<p>Let his English teacher check for grammar, spelling, etc. There are lots of people who can do this, but you’re the one who knows him best, so you’re the only one who can say whether what you hear tells the Ad Comm who he is.</p>
<p>We helped D with proof reading, grammar check on her essays. She had one prompt that was a little tricky so we helped with “ideas” only on topics for the essay… I remember it had something to do with how could she add to the diversity of the campus…</p>
<p>IMHO–parents can help by suggesting topics if the kid is struggling. I swear coming up with what to write about is the hardest thing. Beyond that, I’d try r-e-a-l-l-y hard to limit yourself to grammatical/spelling corrections.</p>
<p>I also think it’s important to keep in mind that the essay is not the first thing any college looks at. More like the 7th or 8th. In most cases, it won’t make any difference at all as long as there are no errors. It might come into play if a kid is very borderline, but otherwise, it won’t.</p>
<p>Thanks for your thoughts. The dilemma I think we’re having is that the examples his English teacher sent home are SOOO descriptive and flowery - not at all my child’s style of writing. He has been told to show, not tell, but I think a purely descriptive observation of an event would be hard for him. He put together what I thought was a reasonable, not stellar, essay that “told” a lot about a meaningful event. Just concerned that this would seem simplistic to adcoms, given the advice he’s getting about being more descriptive.</p>
<p>A parent or adult should at minimum check for grammar and flow. I think it’s okay to make comments beyond that. (“Too many big words!” “This doesn’t sound like you!” and even “I don’t think this paragraph, helps the story you are telling.”)</p>
<p>My math guy had a terrible time with college essays. He’s a very private person and this was just so beyond his comfort zone. In the end he wrote a “pretty good for an engineer” essay. It started with the results of a computer program that compiled bits of sample college essays on line. Then he just described how he got interested in computer programming. There were a few flashes of humor, barely. Mostly it was just the facts - but it was as good as he could manage and it passed the cafeteria test. (If you dropped your essay on the cafeteria floor would someone recognize you from it.) One of the best essays I have read was from a CC kid who was applying to Caltech who talked about thinking about physics on rollercoasters.</p>
<p>I read the essay of a good friend from high school and frankly it sounded just like his Mom not the kid. (He’s the one who should have graduated from Princeton 2 years ago, but can’t write his senior thesis.)</p>
<p>Great topic-- I was wondering this myself. I read through the essay and circled wrong words (too instead of to etc) and then made one general comment that he should think about stating his opinion more clearly in his first paragraph. He has made those changes (I think) and is taking it to his English teacher this week. I am thinking I am done with my part</p>
<p>But-- his cousin spent 6 weeks of her summer in a “College Essay Writing Class” paid for by her parents, and likely has a great essay at this point to submit. I know that my son’s is no where close to this level</p>
<p>So yes there is a great variety of parent involvement it seems. I think it should be the student’s essay with minimal editing by an adult</p>
<p>“Show not tell” isn’t about descriptions as much as inserting examples that engage the reader.<br>
I am in favor of adults helping- kids have never written anything like this before and it shouldn’t read like a hs jr-sr essay. Most kids, if you just “guide” them, can get the point and do well on their own. But, they don’t realize what comes off as negatives, that a thesis statement is isn’t needed, etc. That said, I was minimally involved and both chose topics usually in the danger zone. </p>
<p>I agree, 1000% that most of the “good” essay examples are awful.</p>
<p>I have been tutoring some kids with college essay writing (not for money), and the single most frequent piece of advice I give is to write more straightforwardly.</p>
<p>Too many kids are trying to be creative and “unique” in their essays, with, yes “flowery” results. This is especially distressing when applied to questions about background or goals which really just want the applicant to answer the question directly. But really it applies to all essays. And big words are a no no unless they are needed for meaning!</p>
<p>Otherwise, even as a tutor, I try not to affect the kid’s own “voice.”</p>
<p>Agree with the above–“show don’t tell” does NOT mean use “flowery” language; it means use examples, tell a story, don’t be abstract and general.</p>
<p>I think the best help is, as suggested above, look for some incident or experience in the student’s past which says something about him/her, or illustrates something he/she does. Encourage the student to let enthusiasm come through–WHY does this incident speak about you? What does it say about you? Brainstorm on those ideas without looking for a big message, or actually writing the essay. Try freewriting, mind-mapping (write one idea in the middle of the page, draw lines to others, draw lines from each one to more others, look for connections, themes, recurring stuff.)</p>
<p>Do not encourage flowery. Creative doesn’t mean poetic or fancy writing–it means original thought that tells about the student.</p>
<p>My S had to do the diversity essay wayback, and we did need to brainstorm what a white guy from Jersey brings as far as diversity. I think helping think that out was reasonable and fair.</p>
<p>For his major essay, we discussed an incident where his two major interests at the time (music and astronomy) intersected, and he wrote an essay branching off from that which told a lot about him. It was thoughtful and creative, but definitely not flowery.</p>
<p>In the rare event of an interview by an adcom, the focus will not be on matching the essay with the style of the student. If you meant one of the mythical alumni interviews, this assumes the interviewer has access to the essay or the application and is able to spot inconsistencies. Highly doubtful in both cases.</p>
<p>Interviewers are cheerleaders and not gatekeepers.</p>
<p>I gave the final proof to both of my daughters’ essays before they were ready to go out. Other than that, I did nothing for D1. For D2, we had a bizarre/meaningful experience together the summer before college and we both said “there has to be an essay in this” and there was! She was told by three of her schools that hers was the best and most interesting essay of the year.</p>
<p>Spent a lot of time with my S helping him choose a topic. (The gc also gave him questions to ask himself). For my S the hardest part was getting started. When he was done I fixed some grammar, (well maybe more than “some”).</p>
The Cronk book you recommended sounds very helpful, though. Getting a good idea is the hardest part for most kids.</p>