Hello, I just wanted to vent.
I made poor poor choices last two semesters and I’m a gigantic idiot. This story starts with League of Legends. I played it last two semesters and it screwed my grades up. Simply put. Fall 2014 I barely made it by the skin of my teeth passing all classes but under a 2.0 GPA. I stopped playing League the last month and a half of Spring 2015 and my grades are coming in. it’s looking like that too except I failed one class. It’s an important class that I need. I registered for the next level course before the grades came in so it’s looking OK i guess on that front.
My parents were so angry and disappointed in me after my fall showing, which dropped my gpa from a 3.5 to something unmentionable. I did it again after basically prostrating myself before them for money this semester. I fucked it up again like an asshole. I’m currently going to go into my junior year not confident in my abilities.
I currently do have an internship because of my merit in my previous years and previous work on campus. I’ll be making money. Enough money to pay for my next semester and more. I’m an electrical engineer and computer science double major. I’m a shitty student I guess but it seems to not translate into the workforce.
I know that after this, my job won’t accept me again unless I get hit by miracle. My parents are going to stop paying and practically disown me. I love them which makes this so hard. They do everything for me but I decided playing the skin flute and League was more important than my future.
I really don’t know what to do with myself when I have the grades discussions with them and then beyond. I stopped playing league and became so much more productive and happy with myself but it wasn’t enough since I lost out on so much earlier on.
Thank you for reading and if you have any input, please say so no matter how harsh it may be. I deserve it.
Dude. Quit league of legends. Evidently you can’t handle being responsible with video games while going to school. Just quit cold turkey, uninstall it, do whatever you need to do.
Set a schedule for yourself next year. Like “I’ll do three hours of work/studying and then take a one-hour break.” Stick to it. Your grades are important and will determine how employable you are.
Good luck.
I already said I quit over a month ago. That’s not the issue anymore.
Everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of growing into adulthood. You identified the problem and took action. That’s more than many, many people would do. You can only move forward and forgive yourself. It’s not as if you were shooting heroin all semester. Good luck.
OK. You didn’t kill anyone. You haven’t been accused or convicted of a crime.
You wasted a lot of time and money and opportunity. But that’s water under the bridge. All you can do from this point onward is rebuild.
OK, so you currently have an internship (for spring semester, as I read it??) Great. Work, starting today, for the best possible letters of recommendation you can get from anyone and everyone associated with that internship. They’ll have to stand up against some abysmal grades, so they’ll have to be strong. Explain the truth to whoever you ask for a letter, so they’ll know that yours isn’t a typical case of a letter they can crank out in 2 minutes.
OK, let’s talk summer. What do you have planned? Could you maybe take a class or two to start to rebuild your GPA? I’m guessing you’re away at school-- is there anything you can take at your local community college that would transfer? (I’m thinking it would be a whole lot cheaper-- maybe something you can finance yourself??) Perhaps it would help show your parents that you’re committed to a change.
You mention your abilities, but the rest of your post deals with your choices. I see no reason to doubt your abilities. On the contrary-- it sounds as though they’ve been strong enough to keep you afloat (though just barely) with minimal time and effort spent on your classes. You may be a whole lot more capable than you give yourself credit for.
Call mom and dad tonight and have the conversation. Every day that you postpone it is one more reason for them to feel the rug has been pulled out from under them. Be honest. Not “prostrate yourself on the floor” kind of honest… no need for additional drama. But honest about your mistakes and your plans going forward. Be open to what they have to say. They’re going to suggest you come home-- is that a viable option? They’re going to suggest you cut your losses and get a full time job-- is that a viable option? Or are you committed to getting the degree you started two years ago? If so, then how do you plan to do so? Enter the conversation with a concrete plan in mind.
The best of luck to you.
League is so not worth dude. Each match is almost an hour long and you might not even win. Unless you’re at least Plat V, find something less time consuming to play.
As a parent, what I would recommend is the following:
- Explain what happened.
- Explain that you have quit a month ago
- Show them your grades since you quit (first test, 67,…last test after quitting 86)
- Tell them you want to continue school and you will pay for the next semester
- If you do well, would they consider the following? You will take loans out for the cost of second semester next year…and if you get above a 3.5 (or whatever) will they pay off those loans for you. (This way you are taking the risk, not them).
- Speak to a counselor about this and figure out what the issue is…do you have an addictive personality? Were you avoiding work?