I’m still in high school, but my parents are pressuring me to start drinking before I leave for college. I don’t want to drink. I’ve made the decision to be alcohol-free, and I intend to stay that way. My parents say all that will change in college. Now, whether or not you agree with them, how much drinking really happens in college? Can one be sober throughout the undergrad years?
Of course you can. Maybe your parents are worried that if you don’t “practice” now, you will overdo it in college. Let them know you are not interested and not to worry, that they should trust that you will continue to make good decisions.
I’m at a party school, didn’t drink until I was 21, and have only gone to a bar once. I could probably count the number of times I’ve had alcohol in 3.5 years on one hand. Not really something I enjoy.
Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is completely normal for students not to drink in college. And… it’s completely normal for college students to drink in college. You will find your way and find others who have the same beliefs you do. Just let your parents know it’s something you don’t want to do right now.
My parents were the same way. To this day they think I didn’t have enough fun in college. They were kinda party animals without ever being alcoholics, and this was true thru their entire lives (dad is 90, just went to his birthday bash with an open bar and 50 other 90-ish year olds!). I drank some in HS, but gave it up before I went to college. I can count the number of drinks I had while in college on one hand. As an adult, I’d say I average a couple glasses of wine a month (with meals). But I had a lot of fun in college. We played cards, went sliding on trays in the Arb, had epic ping pong tournaments, went to movies and free campus events, cooked, went on road trips to concerts/sites in nearby cities once someone finally got a car, played tennis & racquetball, dressed up for Halloween, and generally hung out in each other’s rooms. There weren’t as many clubs on campus as there are today, I think, so you can get involved with those as well.
A lot of drinking does happen in most residential colleges. However, non-drinkers at most such colleges can find plenty of social activities that do not involve drinking.
It looks like your parents expect you to be like many college students and start drinking in college (despite saying that you will not), so they want you to know the effects of one, two, etc. drinks on yourself under their supervision, so that you will not have to find out the effects at a party or other potentially risky situation. Even if you intend to abstain from drinking, you may want to consider whether finding out the effects of one, two, etc. drinks under parental supervision may be something useful to know before you go to college.
Yes it’s possible, but I completely understand where your parents are coming from. The vast majority of students do drink at some point during their residential college years. Drinking at home first allows you to know your limits and whatnot.
I’m not saying this will be you, but lots of students don’t think they’ll ever drink and then they do. If you do choose to drink, make sure the first few times are in a safe place with a few people you trust.
Are you 18? I seriously can’t fathom a parent urging their child to do something that is illegal.
@dj1028 I’ll be 18 this Saturday. I guess they think it will be a fun party activity? sarcasm
Note that some states permit underage drinking under parental supervision, so it is not necessarily illegal for the OP to do so under parental supervision (but check applicable law).
I wasn’t aware of that…I know it’s not the law in our state!
https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/state_profiles_of_underage_drinking_laws.html summarizes state underage alcohol laws, but it is best to verify with the actual state laws in case they have changed since then.
@ucbalumnus @dj1028 I’m in Idaho, so underage drinking is prohibited without exception.
My son is also a non-drinker. Has no interest in it. It may change but as of now he has not tried alcohol. The school has a reputation for drinking. Mostly out of boredom I would guess.
It can get tricky when you join sports clubs. Many of the boys will drink on weekends so you might feel a bit out of it unless your ok at partying in the dorms while not drinking. It takes a strong person to attend drunken dorm parties and stay sober. My son chooses to avoid those situations. He keeps it strictly professional.
@MassDaD68 I understand what you’re saying about the sports. I know that a lot of underage drinking goes on at ski races, but I haven’t had any issues in avoiding it. None of my friends drink at races, and we do our own thing while the other clubs do theirs.
Your parents are pressuring you to drink? Speechless here…
Anyway, S1 is going away next year, and also doesn’t drink. He is also an athlete, and quite social, but simply can’t get on board with the behavior that seems to go along with drinking. You will meet people like that at college, if you seek them out.
Put another way, if a group/school/organization demands that you drink, then you are in the wrong place.
I played for my university soccer team. HEAVY drinking, especially on road trips. Some pressure/bullying early on, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I pretty much went everywhere with my teammates, but was never drunk or even close. By junior year, everyone was just happy to always have a designated driver around without having to think about it!
If you can handle your parents’ pressure, you probably will have little problem with your friends.
I guess I get what they think they are doing , but they should know their kid by now to know that drinking isn’t really on your radar screen. Stick to your guns - if you aren’t really into it now (and I’m sure you’ve had ample opportunity to do so in high school), you probably aren’t going to go off the deep end in college.
@Undercrackers Sort of yeah, sort of no. If I’d gone looking for it, I would’ve been able to found it. However, it’s not super present at my school because of the LDS church. A good half of my school are members, so…