<p>Hey, on my common app essay, I decided to write about my experiences with racism and Islamophobia in a small Canadian fishing town. In order to catch the attention of my reader, start off the essay by quoting a couple specific remarks I received, to set the tone for the essay. Here is the introduction to my essay:
Go home sandn<em>gger! Omar Khan should go back to his </em>**ing mud hut! Go to hell dirty Paki! Would you believe me if I told you that middle school children scribbled all the previous statements along bathroom stalls and lockers, attacking one, eleven year old Pakistani-Muslim boy? Would you believe me if I told you that this boy was then ostracized by his peers, forced to undergo great stress and anxiety, and eventually developed a painful disease as a result of his torment? This is a true story about a young boy of color growing up in an intolerant hamlet and how he came to terms with his differences. This is my story.</p>
<p>In my essay, I did not censor it at all, because I felt that would be a bit immature. I think the admin officers wouldn't be offended, as my "use" of vulgarity seems to be justifiable.
My english teacher made no mention of it when he was grading it. But my conservative dad finds that i should censor that F-bomb.
Thanks for your help guys</p>
<p>I think… what you’re trying to express is the extent and unrestrainedness of the abuse, and there are more effective ways to get it across. Leave the swear words in if they’re necessary, but if they’re not, it comes off as cheap pseudo-poignancy.</p>
<p>I think calling the admissions office for advice on your essay makes you seem a little…weird. Dont do that, thats just a bad idea. No offense to anyone on these boards, but I dont think any of them have enough experience to tell you what you should do in something that can make as big a difference as this. My advice is for you to try and find an experienced english teacher at your school, who has read a lot of college essays, and ask him/her. If you cant find one, look around on the internet for your answer, but i dont think other high school seniors will know the right answer for sure.</p>
<p>Yeah, asking the admissions office would seem a bit weird. I totally understand panadreta’s point, I don’t want to come off as cheap or vulgar. That was my fear Jason, that the person reading my essay would just get a real bad impression of me. I was thinking the same thing 90210, I was just quoting to display the severity of the abuse. I think I’ll take westhamunited’s advice and check with a few other teachers, see what they think. Thanks for your help everyone!!!</p>