College Essay tips - too many choices

<p>Hi, I came across this site a couple days ago and have just been reading since, finally decided to post.</p>

<p>I'm writing two different college essays, one for George Mason and one for Virginia Tech.</p>

<p>George Mason - write at least 150 words about yourself. Please use this essay to relate information about yourself that cannot be found elsewhere on your application. You may choose to write about your future ambitions and goals, a special talent or unusual interest that sets you apart from your peers, or a significant event or relationship that has influenced you during your life.</p>

<p>VT - What contributions might you as a student bring to help create a diverse educational community at Virginia Tech? Please limit your statement to no more than 200 words in length.
Alternative:
If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain. </p>

<p>I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I consider myself a very good writer and this is a scenario in which my skills can have a direct impact on my future. It's not that I can't think of anything to write, but that I have too many options. I'm not sure how I should incorporate these ideas into the essay. I've compiled a brainstorm list of some ideas, but everything seems to contradict the outlines of what the editors will be looking for. So heres the list so far.</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Writing about how I look up to my uncle, who is just a "regular guy" and unfortunately a lower class individual, who has gone through many ordeals in his life, and how I have learned from his errors. I was planning on starting off by saying how everybody remembers their favorite teacher, and then talk about how mine was my uncle and gradually focus on my unorthodox learning style. This theme will be hard to make a transition from my uncle to me and be able to expand on it.</p></li>
<li><p>I am the first american born citizen in all my generations/family tree, and I will be the first one to ever complete high school. I have alot of weight on my shoulders, and I wish to represent my family name, and my country of afghanistan, but I'm not sure if stating that in these particular, political times would spark any good impressions of me to the editor. I'm not sure how I can make these facts into emotion, without having to shift to a new fact and explaining everytime.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>I also have an idea for the personal statement which to me seems kind of risky, almost like the Hugh Gallagher approach. (I've done everything, but I have not yet gone to college.)</p>

<p>I wanted to write about a mysterious person who I have grown up with, and list very deep characteristics about him. I would talk about how I have looked to him for advice, how I have seen him grow. Then in the end I would finish by saying I see him in the mirror each and every day.</p>

<p>please, someone help me out</p>

<p>I really wouldn't worry about talking about your heritage because of political issues. I think colleges would actually really like that. Personally, I like the second idea better (ie your family etc), but it all depends on how you write it. I think the best way to decide might actually be to write a draft on each topic and look at which works better. Good luck.</p>

<p>Do drafts of both ideas, and you'll be in a much better position to judge. I like the colorful uncle idea, but agree it is a challenge to refocus the topic on you and your accomplishments.</p>