<p>^^Agreed. And my D isn’t technically on the spectrum, so that makes a difference too.</p>
<p>Bigtrees: LOL. No, I don’t think her dislike of dorm food is tied to the LD 
If that was true then D2 has a HUGE LD. I was really just trying to let intParent know about some things she might like to debrief her D about when she gets back from her summer program. </p>
<p>and my ^^^above was to Greta’s reply.</p>
<p>One thing that I think is worth saying about Aspergers and executive function disorder.</p>
<p>Part of the college experience is to wean oneself from the support mechanisms that are present in high school and transition to real life. This is true for all students, regardless of whether they have a disorder or not.</p>
<p>If (as Cardinal Fang says), your S or D has executive function disorder and will never be able to handle executive functions, they should figure out what will allow them to suceed in life. Cardinal has suggested having hiring a personal assistant or organizational person who can set appointments, remind the person of appointments, tell them to go to bed, call them to wake them up in the morning, etc, etc (depending on the level of the executive function disorder). </p>
<p>I think this is more valuable than trying to harp on the disability office because there is no disability office after college that can try to provide those services. The individual has to take it upon themselves to hire those people and to follow those instructions. They should learn in college what it takes for them to be successful and then continue those things during life after college. If they need someone in their life to help them, then they need to be sure they always have a person who can help them with that.</p>
<p>Going a little further than what BigTrees says, I think the Aspie going off to college and his parents need to figure out how his tasks will be divided up: what will he be responsible for (studying, writing papers, getting up on time, going to class, many other things), what his coach will be responsible for (helping him schedule, monitoring him and pushing him back on track when he goes off schedule…) and what his college disabilities office will be responsible for (perhaps notetakers, tutoring, extended time, priority registration or some other accommodations).</p>
<p>Some Aspies might need only executive function coaching and no academic accommodations. Some might need only academic accommodations and no coaching. Many will need both. Those Aspies who do anticipate needing accommodations from the college should start early in working with disabilities offices, even before applying to the school.</p>
<p>Aspie parents sending kids off to college often don’t realize how much executive function the parents have been providing, and thus don’t realize it will need to be replaced.</p>
<p>“mdcissp, I cannot fathom a college dorm that will meet your expectations. A very quiet floor? I hope for your son’s sake other posters can prove me wrong, but I think even a quiet floor is a stretch in most dorms.”</p>
<p>Carnegie Mellon has entire floors and some dorms designated specifically as “quiet living areas”. I’m sure some other schools have them also.</p>
<p>“are you saying her dislike of dorm food is because of her learning disability?”</p>
<p>Extreme food selectivity can definitely be an issue with autism disorders. Though I personally would hate dorm food too. It’s helps when there are decent restaurants nearby.</p>
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<p>My D’s friend with Asperger’s will eat very few foods. She tries…begged her parents to let her go to church camp, then almost starved. She was at our house at dinnertime the other day…I knew it would be dicey…She said, “sure, I’ll eat almost anything.” But when I said it was pizza, she had to confess that she doesn’t eat cheese.</p>
<p>Hey, we got your D’s friend beat. Not only no cheese, but no tomato sauce. I tell you one thing, some of these kids are never, ever going to be overweight. I know what my kid will eat, but I learned with some of his friends. Make sure you have lots of options of plain, simple foods available…that is if you want to guarantee they eat. Once I realized it was actually a symptom, instead of something I’d screwed up as a parent over the years, it became alot easier to deal with.</p>
<p>The housing at UT Dallas looks fabulous because you can get your own bedroom in an apartment, and might be able to get your own apartment as well. I would have to check out the noise level.</p>
<p>I bought my son Bose headphones to block out extra sound input and that is effective. However, I am not sure how easily he could adjust to the many differences found in other people (ex. someone who stays up all night, plays loud music, etc.).</p>
<p>We have discussed this matter because I think the dorm situation is a potential deal breaker. I suggested that my son attend the local community college. He can live at home where he is happy in a quiet setting. My son just thinks community college is more limiting than a 4 year school, and seems to desire the 4 year college experience.</p>
<p>I think it will be a good idea for him to attend an over nighter at the schools where he is accepted to figure out if he will be comfortable.</p>
<p>In our case, housing is just a potential deal breaker. In fact, housing’s ability to match my son with the right housing is just as important as a couple of academic accomodations.</p>
<p>Food is very hard sometimes. Certain textures and such (an example i dislike eggs, nuts, and beans due to texture). Other things you can eat day after day and never get sick of (peanut butter or pasta alfrado~).</p>
<p>Believe it or not the dorms were a big deciding factor for me. They placed me in my own room with bath. I emailed my DA and asked if i could get the same room this fall, and guess what, i did! :3</p>
<p>Might i suggest a huge dry erase board for the wall to write down HW and classes and such on?</p>
<p>/student with aspergers and adhd</p>
<p>Just a thought to consider that I don’t think has been mentioned yet is the option of attending a local community college for a year. This is the path we choose. It was a time for us to pull back and let S1 do things like register for classes, get a parking decal, etc. They may seem simple but they were steps to independence. We were there to help if he needed but getting up and to class was his job. We never reminded him. We didn’t ask about assignments etc. He kept his local part time job which added to stability. If you live in a larger area more students than you think are taking the 2/2 option with guaranteed admissions due to the economy. He saw many, many familiar faces on campus.
It isn’t right for everyone but for S1 it was definitely the way to go. He also choose to stop taking the very low dose of meds during this time. We were here to make sure he went off very slowly.
Every student will require a different level of assistance (organization, etc). How you gradually step back will dictate that. The idea is not to go ‘cold turkey’.
Some may not consider S1’s choice and experience a success. We do. It’s positive personal forward motion towers being independent. That road may not be straight. We’re looking at a few zigzags, but feel he’s still moving forward. He’ll be taking a gap year next year. Academically he didn’t do well. Socially and personally he was fine. He knows where he messed up (um out of class work, hello?). He has been promoted at work, is well thought of by managers, customers, and fellow employees. He takes care of his car, pays insurance, maintenance, pays for his cel service, and manages his checking account. These are all things many fellow students his age have not mastered. He has asked about a management path at work, which I’m sure they will point him right back to school. When he wants it bad enough he’ll be ready.
Most importantly. He’s happy. He’s at peace. This is something that has not been true for a long time.
Everyone has their road. I encourage you to check out this option as one of many that may be right in your students success. I also encourage anyone who has not had their student evaluated by a neuropsychologist to do so. It was invaluable in mapping S1s brain function. Many students are misdiagnosed by GPs. Many have co-morbid diagnosis. For some reason the school finally took notice and listened once we had this documentation. It held far more weight and opened more doors for services. We gave up on dx’s as S1 is such a mixed bag, but the neuropsyc was very helpful in aiding us to get past a lable (once the school was satisfied) and deal with coping skills for symptoms. It didn’t matter what we called it, it all fell under the rainbow of autism.
Whatever road you choose for your student, I wish you each peace. That is the most successful thing at the end of the day.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your success story. My son’s GC also thinks community college honors program is the path to start with. I agree that this is a great step towards independence. We discussed this option and my son is open to it, but I don’t think it is his first choice. Why? He thinks the students at the local com. college are academically low and he is very bright. I have tried to explain that the com. college is now highly sought after because of the economy, and therefore will find bright kids too. I can’t seem to convince him. I think this is because Aspies have their own point of view and it is hard to see another point of view. However, my son will apply to one of the honors programs at the local com. college. He is already accepted on early entrance which takes off some of the pressure with the college search. Main thing I also pointed out is that my son is happy at home where it is quiet and he can go out to eat at his favorite restaurants for lunch (i.e. not the fast food on college campuses that he can’t stand). There are some good inexpensive restaurants (pizza, ethnic food, etc.) in the com. college area. I think he needs to do an over night after getting college acceptances to see if he can handle the dorm situation.</p>
<p>I appreciate all the responses and it really creates food for thought. We have struggled with deciding if staying at home and going to school, or going away would be better. My fear if he stays home is that he will not get involved in any of the college activities and will retreat to the safety of home. While this may be easier, I’m not sure it is best for his social growth. I also worry that we will continue to shelter him and again not really help him become more independent on his own. On the flip side he is very proud of his academic success and I sure wouldn’t want him to fail in this arena, as it would be a huge blow to his self esteem. I think he could handle the dorms especially if he has a single room. If he goes away I do feel strongly that he will need support as I realize he will not gain any of these skills overnight. I have read about a number of programs at schools like Connecticut, Rutgers, Marshall, Mercyhurst and Fairleigh Dickinson and wonder if anyone has had any experience with any of these programs or any others, and how successful they are.</p>
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<p>That’s so nice to hear. I think my son is the opposite, even though he’s home from his year in college and will be at community college next year. He’s gained a lot of weight, gets heartburn, has terrible sleep habits. Trying to find a therapist for him.</p>
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<p>Son had a pretty lonely first semester at college, but by second semester he had some friends and a decent social life - much better than I expected. But what you fear is what happened to my son.…2130 SAT, 3.8 GPA, 11 AP classes, ended 1st semester of college with a 2.3 and ended 2nd with a 3.0 (only because he dropped all but two academic classes.) After the year in college, my very bright boy can’t seem to get an A to save his life. His academic confidence has been shattered and it *has *been a huge blow to his self esteem.</p>
<p>adamom,</p>
<p>I’d suggest you look into UW-Whitewater for your student. It is a very manageable campus with an excellent disability support system and a friendly student body. It would be only two hours away from the Chicago suburbs.</p>
<p>Good luck,</p>
<p>Kevin</p>
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<p>How did you determine that the disablity support system was excellent? Was it just luck? Did you interview them and they told the truth? Did you know someone else who went there?</p>
<p>I have a high school aged daughter with CP and cognitive disabilities and have friends with children with disabilities that have felt very well served at UW-Whitewater. I also am on a committee that awards scholarships to Madison-area students with disabilities who are attending post secondary institutions and UW-Whitewater is often their school of choice.</p>
<p>While most of this is not direct experience, I have also visited the campus with two of my other daughters (a 20 year-old at UW-Madison and a 14 year-old with LDs) and have been impressed by the students and the administration. They have also started an on-campus program for students with significant cognitive issues. I’m not certain as to how I feel about those programs for my own daughter but am glad to see them being offered. I think it is further evidence of a school’s true interest in this area.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Kevin</p>
<p>At Son’s school, I got the idea that the disablities lady was competent to deal with needs of the blind kids and the kids in wheelchairs…other disablities, not so much. </p>
<p>I wonder what colleges actually require in terms of the background of their disablities office personnel. The lady at son’s school has a background in clinical social work.</p>
<p>its funny you say that. My DA office had this really incompatent secratary. I had emailed the head about a week before to see if i could get a meeting with her before i did my exam. Well, the secratary kept saying that it wasn’t on the book and that i needed to leave until it was my exam time. The head of the DA overheard, came out and told me it was fine.</p>
<p>I have a feeling that heads rolled after that. There was a deer caught in the headlights type of moment when the head walked into the room.</p>
<p>My executive functioning coach, who is employed by the disabilities office and called an “academic coach,” has a background in psychology, as does the head of the office. I think they personally are great, but the university doesn’t provide them enough resources to do much of anything. The students have taken matters into their own hands and begun to start programs they run themselves to serve the students. I’ve honestly almost got the impression that the university only has the office there because they have to, they really don’t give them anything to work with. If only there were a way to sample the university politics on these matters before you get there, I think that’s the most telling factor.</p>