<p>Missiepie: I am very sorry to hear that your son did not have a good freshman year at college. I wonder if the difficulties are more related to mismatch of classes and /or professors more than the disability office being less supportive than what you expected. It is really important with Aspergers to determine their specific area of high interest and then find an academic program with classes in that area. Perhaps there were too many required Freshman core classes that your son was not interested in which lead to the grade decline. He is obviously very intelligent and bright. Did you match the program to your sonâs keen interests? May be need a smaller school with smaller classes?</p>
<p>I run a group on campus that serves students with autism, so I have been hearing all sorts of different comments and complaints about the autistic experience on my large campus, which has both small and large classes. While in some ways smaller classes can be a really good thing, a common complaint that I hear for our smaller classes is that they are generally very discussion based with an important participation component in grading, which can be extremely difficult for students with autism to cope with. In my experience thereâs been a pretty even split of students who prefer large classes-- which have virtually no social components to induce anxiety or inhibit learning, and students who prefer smaller classes-- which are harder to go unnoticed in when you start to struggle, and tend to have attendance requirements to keep students showing up. The benefits of a smaller school are undeniable since in theory a smaller school would have less bureaucratic BS for the autistic student to get lost in, but small class sizes seem to be hit and miss for the group of students I work with. Just more food for thought.</p>
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<p>mdcissp, I know that youâre very hopeful that with the right school with the right classes all will work out well. And who knows, it might for your son. If a student has Aspergerâs without executive function issues, I think there is a higher liklihood of success. </p>
<p>Sonâs problems were not social, nor were they related to the size of the school or the subject matter of the class. They were a direct result of a disorder in his executive function. Let me give you some examples - I really want you to understand this.</p>
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<li><p>Class that Son loved. Totally grasped the subject matter. Lots of class participation. The teacher required weekly on-line quizzes. She required 14. Son remembered to do 3 and he got 100s on those. But 11 zeros on the online quizzes turned an A into a C-.</p></li>
<li><p>Class that Son loved and should have aced. Lots of reading, which is something at which Son excels. BUT, after the reading, the students were supposed to go onto a website and blog about the material. Son only remembered to do this once, so the A became a C+.</p></li>
<li><p>Math class. Prof was very into a certain computer program. Son couldnât understand the program but could never manage to go in during office hours for help. All tests were taken on a computer, using the program. So during the test time, Son spent the whole time trying to figure out how to work the program instead of answering the questions.</p></li>
<li><p>Teacher in Sonâs favorite class assigns a paper on the first day of class, due the last day of class. In high school, the teacher would have required periodic milestones - e.g turn in notecards in a month, turn in outline two weeks later, turn in rough draft a month later, etc. In college, theyâre just responsible on their own for pacing themselves. Sonâs paper was started with woefully little time left. He read a lot on the topic but just couldnât get started.</p></li>
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<p>If Son was given only oral exams by the prof, heâd ace almost everything because he knows the material. Itâs the details involved in doing what the teacher wants done that is the problem. Iâve always said that if Einstein went to high school, he wouldnât get an A in math unless he turned in his homework. In school, itâs really not about how smart you are or how well you know the material. Youâve also got to master the details of doing assignments, etc. to get the grades. Thatâs the executive function that is missing in my son.</p>
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<p>In high school, Missypieâs son got reminders from his teachers (Monday the paper topic is due, next week the outline, etc.) He also got reminders and structures from Missypie. In college, that support was absent. Since Missypieâs son needs it, he crashed.</p>
<p>If your Aspie child isnât getting that support in high school from parents and teachers, then great. They wonât miss it in college. If your son or daughter <em>is</em> getting it in high school, think very hard about whatâs going to happen when all that support is taken away.</p>
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<p>Another factor is that at college away from home, students are expected to take care of all of the details of life - laundry, getting to meals, getting prescriptions filled, going to the doctor if they are sick, getting up on their own, etc. In the normal progression of maturity, an 18 year old should be able to tackle this. But many Aspergerâs students put all their energy into the day to day living part, so they are overwhelmed when academics are added.</p>
<p>Hereâs my example:</p>
<p>You want to spend a semsester studying abroad and find the perfect program, taught in English, in a large city in a third world country. The school is terrific and your professors are great.</p>
<p>But the only place you can find to live is a flat that is an hour away from school, by bus. And the bus runs on an irregular schedule. And when it comes itâs sometimes too full to enter. You have a hot plate in your flat to cook on, but the electricty is dicey, so sometimes you have no power, so you canât cook and the food in your little fridge spoils. You go to the market to buy food and there are no convenience foods to buy and what there is to buy is unfamiliar. There are no laundrymats, so you have to rinse out clothes in the sink and hang them to dry. You run out of paper for school and canât figure out where you could possibly go to puchase paper, as you have only found food markets.</p>
<p>In this scenario, canât you see that you might bomb out in school, even though the school is âperfectâ, because day to day living is so stressful and difficult for you? I think this is what some kids with Aspergerâs feel like in college - itâs so stressful to deal with people constantly, get to the dining hall before it closes, etc, that they canât simultaneously cope with the academics.</p>
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<p>This may be the only way my son could succeed in college.</p>
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<p>Thatâs the burning question!!! Canât wait for the replies.</p>
<p>I will warn that some for-profit companies that do college admissions counseling have jumped on the bandwagon and are offering executive function coaching. So the high school Spanish teacher moonlighting as an admissions counselor can pick up even more extra money by hiring herself out as an executive fuction coach.</p>
<p>As we have observed on this thread, a college Disablities Office may not be willing to provide a coach and, in the view of some, that is appropriate. So a parent would need to hire one fromâŠsomewhere else. That possiblity may point toward sending your student to school in a city or at least a decent sized town, where the chance of finding the elusive trained coach would be higher than in a small town.</p>
<p>My school provides one, however she is a diamond in the rough in our disabilities program, and they neglected to mention to me that she exists until after my first year was already complete. Iâd seen her when I researched services myself but since they call her an âacademic coachâ I thought she taught study skills or something. Which she does, but she also does executive functioning kind of stuff. I am still in school for summer and seeing her and sheâs not only helping me schedule my schoolwork realistically (and helping me figure out how much work, volunteering, and ECs I can take on a week before Iâve overloaded myself), but she is helping me figure out what I need from the grocery store for the week because Iâve been left home alone for a month and Iâve never done it that long before. It is rather like missypieâs analogy. The coach just helps me think through issues as they come up and find solutions. I still have to do everything myself, and she wonât call me to make sure I did it-- however weâve agreed that I will call her every night to tell her whether or not I did what we agreed Iâd do. If I didnât itâs not like itâs her responsibility to punish me. But knowing youâre accountable to someone other than yourself helps, and if I didnât do it obviously whatever solution she came up with didnât work and we try to find a different one. And itâs not like I am just irresponsible and knowingly procrastinate and blow off my stuff, I just get confused and make mistakes and end up not knowing how to fix it so that I can complete everything I need to. She just comes up with ways to eliminate the confusion and will work WITH me to put together a to do list and a time line in a way that will work for me, and helps eliminate any barriers that come up along the way.</p>
<p>I would wonder if a therapist in town would be able to help with some of these issues at schools where this is not provided. My appointments with my coach feel sort of like therapy sometimes. I walk in and tell her what disasters Iâve encountered that week and what disasters I am worried about occurring during the rest of the week, and she helps me think through it to find solutions. Iâm not sure if any specialized skills besides an understanding of the disorders that come with exec functioning issues would really be required, I donât know. Maybe thatâs something worth looking into if you canât find any other options.</p>
<p>P.S. The advantage to having a coach like mine is that the solutions she helps me find are LIFE SKILLS that I can take with me after graduation. It isnât as though Iâm necessarily going to crash and burn the moment I graduate because I donât have anyone to schedule me anymore, she helps me figure out how I can manage doing things without help. Itâs not about getting my work done, itâs about helping me figure out /how/ I can get my work done. Iâm not going to just forget the skills Iâve picked up when I graduate and sheâs gone. This is almost like another class I am taking, and may be the most important one.</p>
<p>Posted for the benefits of those that are skeptical about exec functioning coaches in college. I agree it does sound weird at first but for students with exec functioning issues itâs essentially just a life tutor helping to bring a student to grade level on their life skills. Itâs not that much different from any other kind of tutor.</p>
<p>Emaheevul07, sounds like youâve found a fantastic coach! Iâm very happy for you. You are very fortunate.</p>
<p>To the skeptical, it may sound like Emaheevul07 is getting too much help, but look at it in the context of using resources to help everyone achieve all they can in life. It is is for the good of society. What if the person who would have found a cure for cancer is working at Best Buy because he didnât have the orginizational skills to make it through undergrad? What if the best math teacher your child could ever dream of is a grocery store cashier because she couldnât buck up and make it through undergrad on her own?</p>
<p>Itâs no different than giving accomodations to deaf people or blind people or people in wheelchairsâŠsociety does not benefit if these folks donât get an education and are unemployable. Society benefits when we all work up to our potential.</p>
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<p>And once weâve figured out a way I can do something, I donât need any more help doing that particular thing. Itâs not like itâs an ongoing forever support thatâs holding me up. Itâs not entirely unlike when a normal student calls home to ask how to remove a stain from their laundry. There are just other life skills I havenât quite picked up yet that are a bit less standard, and the coach discusses with me so that we can figure out why I havenât picked up that life skill yet and how we can remedy the situation. If offering remedial math courses isnât providing too much help I donât know why this would be, itâs the same basic principle just with different sorts of skills.</p>
<p>Thereâs not really anything I CANâT do, itâs just that the way that I have to learn it or go about it is unconventional and I havenât had the opportunity to build some of my life skills the way I need to before now. The point of the coach is not to do anything for me, but to help me learn how to do everything myself. It is about learning how to be independent.</p>
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<p>Sonâs psychologist talked of âscaffolding.â Itâs an appropriate term.</p>
<p>Interesting that you brought up remedial math. In the last month, I think Iâve been on 11 college tours with my younger D. I think every single one mentioned the writing center, where students can come for help with topics, editing, etc. Schools donât say, âgee, sorry your writing doesnât meet college expectations, I guess youâre going to do badly in college.â They provide assistance.</p>
<p>Fang Jrâs (wonderful) coach does pretty much what Emaheevul07âs coach. But Fang Jr wants to try to go back to his college, and I have no idea how to find a coach there.</p>
<p>Might I recommend a good book? Itâs not a miracle worker by itself but it did help me identify what problems I was having so I could begin to fix them myself. Itâs called Aspergerâs Syndrome, An Owners Manual 2. Itâs a workbook with all kind of assessments and activities you can do alone or with a therapist to identify your long term goals, the short term goals that will lead to your long term goal, your strengths and weaknesses, and what you need to work on in order to achieve what you want.</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Asperger Syndrome An Ownerâs Manual 2 For Older Adolescents andâŠ](<a href=âhttp://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Owners-Manual-Adolescents/dp/1934575062/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279916918&sr=8-1]Amazon.com:â>http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Owners-Manual-Adolescents/dp/1934575062/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279916918&sr=8-1)</p>
<p>There is an independent life skills assessment that I found to be particularly useful. It pointed out no less than 5 major, basic skills I lacked that I didnât even realize I was missing. Things I could very easily do if it had just occurred to me that I was supposed to. Itâs made life a lot easier.</p>
<p>Just ordered the book!</p>
<p>Iâm new around here, but this has been the most helpful thread on CC! My S has NLD/ADHD-c and you have all addressed many of the worries I haveâheâs a rising senior and we are looking at collegesâŠmy favorite for him so far is 30 min awayâsmall campus w/quarters, so only 3 classes at a time. Itâs been one of his faves so far, too.</p>
<p>but these posts have given me concrete things to talk with him about: who will wake you up? (itâs mom nowâŠ) etcâŠ</p>
<p>thanks to all who shared their experiences.</p>
<p>marie</p>
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<p>That sounds ideal!</p>
<p>Missiepie: Does your son have a planner to write down his assignments plus a big calendar on the wall so that he can visually see when assignments are due?</p>
<p>Sure. Weâve purchased about every orginizational tool on the market. Last semester he even color coded thingsâŠon the suggestion of the Disablities Office lady. We made a special trip to drive down to the school for a meeting to beg for help and she suggested color coding his calendar.</p>
<p>Might i suggest a digital recorder for class? I have one and it helps me.</p>
<p>And could anyone reccomend a good planner? I had a desk calender last semester (like iâve had sense my soph year in high school) it used to help me, but now that i donât sit at a desk all the time (too small :() i need something to help. Any ideas?</p>