College Friends

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hey guys,

It’s my 2nd day of college and I was wondering how long it took for you guys to make long term friends that you can text and hang out with whenever. I have classes spread out throughout the whole day. For me, I can be outgoing but I usually don’t take initiatives (and yes I am working on that, thank you). Recently my schedule has been to wake up, eat, go to class, and then go back to dorm if enough time or just eat (which I do by myself) and move onto the next class. On my spare time I’m either doing homework or texting my friends back at home (8 hours away, it’s not too bad but none of my friends left home.)

I’m hoping to bond with my Alpha mates back at AFROTC. However, this is going to take some time as I only meet about twice or three times a week.

People on my dorm floor are nice. Most of them went to the beach on Sunday however, I was with my family so I didn’t get to bond with them much. Their schedule doesn’t really fit mine.

I’m taking 18 units as a freshman first semester. I mean I met a bunch of people. I know their names and majors, etc but I don’t know them WELL and I don’t have their numbers. They all have their own friends in a sense. Half the time I’m in my dorm on my laptop (since it’s “syllabus” week) but in general, my schedule has been kind of lonely. I mean sometimes I like it but definitely makes me miss my closer friends back at home.

I know it’s only 2nd day and all but I feel like the first week is the best time to meet people.

OH AND YES I do have a roommate. I hung out with him a lot during the first move-in days but he has his brother at this college and they hang out a lot. I mean honestly I’m fine with being lonely at times but I could use a friend or two that is interested in hanging out and grabbing lunch sometimes. I’m a guy. I want a girl friend (not like relationship wise but in general) because I think it’d diversify my friendships.

2

It takes a little bit…ask your roommate and hall mates to go to dinner with you…at first go to the beach and other activities with classmates…this is the prime time to meet people; your family will be there. Make your schedule fit theirs for a month or two. Maybe after class ask if someone is goign to the dining hall and then eat with them.

3

I think you almost answered your own question. They’re “long term” friends. That sort of thing doesn’t ever happen overnight, and probably won’t for at least a week or two. Just keep in touch with those people you’re comfortable around by hanging out in their dorm, lunch, whatever. Eventually it’ll get to the “long term” point. Of course, assuming you’re a freshman, I’m in almost the same spot you are. I’m just taking a wild guess here, but I’d say most people would agree that strong friendships take time to build.

I haven’t really had classes yet, but I have 19 credits and am in AFROTC so we’re very similar. One suggestion would be to get out of your dorm when you’re on your laptop. It IS portable: take it to a dining hall, student center or whatever your college has that is similar to that. Sit there, or find someone also taking a break like you. Ask some of those budding friendships in the dorm or class to come with you. During these few weeks, everyone is very willing to get to know people, so it is probable they’ll say yes.

Did you have a pre-school orientation for ROTC? I did, and my strongest friendships CURRENTLY were formed there. Especially since you have a common bond it will be easier to make friends that want to just hang out.

And for your final point: girls. You’ve really just got to throw yourself out there. Approach them (most of them won’t bite), and just use the classic template from my school: Name, Dorm, Major, Hometown. You’ll most likely find something in common, or if you don’t, just start firing off questions like there’s no tomorrow. Ask about their favorite place where they’re from. Ask how their schedule is working out. Are they in clubs? Sports? TV? Food? What bird would they want to be? ANYTHING. Once you get the ball rolling, it’s really easy to talk to anyone, not just girls. My school had “mixers”, but they were set up between dorms. Notre Dame has single sex dorms, so that made the get togethers easier to facilitate. If your school doesn’t organize mixers, or you can’t get to any parties with that sort of “hang out” atmosphere, then classes would be the best place to start. They will be the people you will see most, and thus the easiest place to build relationships. It doesn’t seem like it will be a problem for you, but finding a girlfriend is going to take a while of meeting and getting to know people, so good for you for not wanting to leap right in.

That was a lot, and I hope I answered some questions. These of course are just my opinions, and you can take them however you want. Just @feartheENGR if you need me to clarify or expand