So I recently started college, living on campus about 2 hours away from home and all that great stuff. My best friend came to the same college as me because we had similar interests (animals). She wants to be a vet, and I wanted to work with wildlife, but now I’m… not so sure?
I’ve always loved animals and I always will, don’t get me wrong. But the big hurdle is the fact that I am quickly discovering that college is not for me. I know its early in the year and I have not been here long, but I’m pretty much miserable. I have aspergers and chronic depression/anxiety as is, and I really just can’t stand it here. I seem to swing from mood to mood faster than I can catch myself and I spend most of my free time being lethargic, crying, or trying to read/draw/play games to make myself feel better. It’s hard to summarize in words what I’m feeling, but I feel like I am not in the right place or where I want to be going with my life. I’ve never enjoyed school, and I am severely regretting not staying home and heading into the workforce, as many ‘simple’ jobs with animals (kennel worker, dog groomer, zoo worker, etc) don’t really require a degree.
My big problem is broaching the topic with my parents, I guess. I’m pretty set on dropping out and am just trying to see if I can make it to the end of the semester or not in all honestly. I don’t think they’ll be mad at me, but I am not sure if they will understand (I’m not sure if I understand myself right now to be honest. Ever since day 1 of school its been drilled into my head to go to college or you are a failure and now I feel lost). They both have graduated college, and my mother is actually a teacher. I suppose I’m more nervous about how I will perceive myself, because if I drop out now I will feel like a failure and a baby but I really don’t think I can make it the semester. But I don’t want to abandon my friend and I don’t want to hate myself for being useless. Thanks for listening to my rant if you managed to read this all
If you want to go back later to any college, bad grades could dog you in the future. To me you don’t necessarily sound like someone who should head for home now. I’d say get busy – get apart time job, join some clubs, volunteer, and work hard on your studies. Less free time might be good for you. Others can talk about withdrawal dates, figuring out if it is too late to get tuition & housing money back, etc. But I think from reading your post that you have the potential to succeed at this.
About 2 weeks I went to school early. I know it’s very early but I really can’t function like this anymore, I can barely pull myself from bed. I guess I’m pretty decided that I want to leave, I just wanted some opinions from people on whether I should slog through the semester (I doubt my grades will be good) or call it quits sooner (and get partial tuition refunds).
Yes, investigate the school counseling services. Why don’t you give that office a call tomorrow morning and let us know if you can get in this week? Also, ask them about whether they ever bring dogs on campus for students to hang out with. My college brings some in around exam time to help students deal with stress. This is a thing.
Please talk to your parents about how you are feeling. With your consent (if you are over 18) they can help you navigate your choices. Also, I agree that using the student counseling services might be very helpful right now.
‘many ‘simple’ jobs with animals (kennel worker, dog groomer, zoo worker, etc) don’t really require a degree.’ And they don’t pay a living wage. Please do not let this difficult adjustment period jeopardize a career. Yes, kids do leave or even flunk out of college, and go back, but it is a longer and more limited route.
‘I don’t want to abandon my friend.’ Not a reason to stay, or even be at same college. She may, or you may, find new people very soon to hang out with.
Posters above have all given good advice. I agree you should contact parents. More than anyone else, they under your Asperger’s and depression. Also vital to get in touch with counseling service at your school. They deal with these adjustment issues all the time. They have motivation to help you and keep you there, for selfish reasons of maintaining college’s reputation, but also just being good decent people.
The worst thing is to suffer in silence and skip classes and not turn in work and flunk out. Whatever problems that you have had, you HAVE overcome them enough to be admitted to that school. You deserve to be there.
Something I forgot to mention – you can definitely volunteer at a shelter, kennel, etc. while being in college. I do and it’s the highlight of my week. Over time I’ve taken on more responsibility with them, like helping with their social media pages and their website.