College isn't for me, I think

Student Lounge College Life
1

Heya! So I’ve only made one post on this forum ever, (a little over two years ago, when I had just started college!) and I went through the trouble of setting a new password and logging back in because I think I need some advice again.

When I made my first post, I was scared and anxious that I’d be miserable at college. The good news is, it took me about a year to get used to living away from home and to get over intense feelings of depression and anxiety. It was honestly probably the most stress-filled year of my life, though now that I’m past it I feel a bit more liberated and definitely more happy! I love living more or less on my own, and I think I’m a lot more confident than I was freshman year/in high school.

The problem now is, I think I’ve discovered that as much as I enjoy college life, the actual “school” part of college is extremely frustrating and just not for me. In high school, I was never a very motivated student, and when my parents sent me off to college I guess they figured that would somehow change. Of course, it didn’t, and now I’m struggling to keep my GPA up and stay in good standing. I’ve failed two classes so far, in four semesters of being here, but of all the classes I have passed I think its safe to say I have a perfectly “C” average. I think my GPA’s somewhere around 2.5/6, honestly I’m too nervous to check. I’ve been put in a sort of acedemic recovery program by my school, (where we take a class on making academic progress and starting good habits and stuff,) which I am definitely grateful for, but If anything it’s just confirmed for me that I’m honestly not interested in having a degree. The instructor for said class made a comment a while ago about how hard it is to work towards graduation when you don’t see yourself feeling rewarded by it.

I do have a plan for what I want to do with my life, that doesn’t necessarily involve me graduating, but I figured I’d just wait until after I graduated to get started on it. I want to be a tattoo artist, but before that happens I need to work on an art portfolio and raise the money for an apprenticeship. If anything, at least I feel like I’ve learned a lot in my art classes specifically, and would even enjoy taking more if it weren’t for the massive amounts of out-of-class work that I have a really hard time motivating myself to do.

Anyway, I realize this is getting long, but the main thing I want to ask about is how to confront my parents about this. Obviously this is my third year of school, and we’ve spent a massive amount of time and money to get me this far. I really am trying my hardest to graduate for their sake, at least, but It’s so damn frustrating and grating. I get the feeling my dad at least understands, but my mom is the real issue. She’s incredibly stubborn, and thinks the only reason I’m having difficulties is because she believes I’m still suffering from severe depression and anxiety. (If anything she’s the most anxiety-inducing part of my life right now.) Graduating still seems like a stretch for me, but I don’t see any way of convincing her that I at least want to take a break to focus on what I think is best for my future, or even if i need to graduate at all.

Thanks for bearing with me! If anything, maybe this can serve as a warning to anyone else who feels like they might end up in the same boat.

2

Its time to be an adult and tell your parents you are going to take a leave of absence before you waste anymore of your time or your parents money. then do so.

College will ONLY continue to get harder, so if getting a degree is not for you , and you certainly dont need a college degree to become a tattoo artist, then its time to step back and figure out what you want to do with your life, not the life your mom envisioned .

3

Thank you, I think that was pretty much what I needed to hear. I’ve known for a while my mom was a pretty overbearing parent, and though she says she “accepts” what I want to do with my life, she’s still doing her best to steer me away from it.

Anyway, you’re right about the wasting time and money thing- maybe my best option right now is taking a break from school at least to find steady income, (waitressing and/or something, probably) and to try to convince her that I’ve thought about it a long time and know what’s best for me.

4

sounds good.
good luck!

5

You are looking at your life right now. What do I want to do right now.

Your mom is looking at your future. She knows that your lifetime earnings/potential will be greater if you have a college degree.
Also I think your mom might be right about the depression…given the fact that you are not motivated to do anything…even art when you say you want to be an artist.

  1. Before you do anything, I would first take care of your mental health. See a psychiatrist if you aren’t already.
  2. Talk to your adviser about possible paths you could take. Would part time + working be good? Can you take classes that will work towards your portfolio?
  3. Talk to your dean of students about the best way to withdraw…Can you take a leave of absence? Can you get money back for this semester? Will you leave in good standing?

Also, you say you will work on your art portfolio. Why will you suddenly have the motivation to do that? How is that different than getting through a class?

6

Sometimes it’s actually best to take breaks like what @menloparkmom said because if it’s not working out for you you’ll be wasting your energy as well as you’re parents money. While at break though try to think of what you really want. But I must say, education would still play a huge role on whatever you do from here on. Living in a much diversed world you’ll definitely need that education to survive.

Good luck on your journey! :smiley:

7

Technically, there’s no way she can know that with certainty. Yes, generally speaking, studies show college graduates enjoy higher lifetime earnings than non-graduates, but ultimately that’s a very individual thing. If we really wanted to get into the meat of it, then someone could even propose that we can never know if the college graduate truly would’ve earned more by going to college than not because the individual in question never did “not graduate” and therefore there isn’t a comparison to be made of the two paths. It’s a very path-dependent course, of which you cannot go back and see what it would’ve been like otherwise.

As far as the time and money already spent pursuing your education, that is all sunk cost and should not be taken into account when deciding what you want to do next because no matter the decision you make, the time and money has already been used and it cannot be recovered.

I agree with the sentiments expressed in some comments above: if you haven’t already, just take the opportunity to evaluate your psychological state and make sure you’re okay with that moving forward. If so, then evaluate where you really see your future happiness - either staying in school or pursuing another path. It’s believed in some areas that college isn’t for everyone, and the “college-driven focus” of many parents and high schools do not effectively convey to their child or student other career or life paths. The result is that some students may arrive at college and feel miserable while there. If you evaluate yourself and realize that you’re not motivated in your academics, and likely will not be regardless of different levels of assistance you may receive, then maybe college isn’t your path at that moment. If you still think that there is some possible level of motivation there depending on an alternate structure, then explore those options, such as attending part-time. In any case, best of luck.

8

Just curious, how do you know if a college is not a right fit for you? And hang in there! You are your own person. You will find a solution out of this and you will be better off. This too shall pass. Just consider your options and talk to others in your field, academic advisers, and your parents as well.

9

This exactly. Plus, lifetime earnings aren’t everything: desired career path is important, too. If one is happy on the earnings and the lifestyle of a tattoo artist, then that’s pretty important and may preclude finishing college.

There’s also nothing preventing @sadbulldog from returning to college later in life if s/he really wants to finish later, although it is more difficult.

However, I do agree with one of the earlier questions: If you have a hard time motivating yourself to do out-of-class work for your art classes (which are relevant to your future career), where are you going to find the motivation to work on your art portfolio as a tattoo artist? And do you have a plan for saving the money for an apprenticeship? IT’s okay to not go to college or leave college, BUT you’d have to have an alternate plan just like you would going into college. You’ll of course need to find a job to support yourself and so you can save money for your goals. You may want to continue taking art classes part-time to help develop your portfolio. (Which does raise the question: aren’t your current art classes helping you raise a portfolio?)

The other option is actually finishing your degree, but using your time more wisely and sort of reframing your thinking about it. No, you don’t need a college degree to be a tattoo artist - but it is a useful thing to have for other fields, particularly if you change your mind or can’t get your business off the ground or who knows what else. Since you seem to be taking art classes, can you focus on your time left as a time to specifically prepare for the career that you want by developing that portfolio (using your art classes plus any spare time you have)? Then after you finish college, perhaps you can use your first job to save up enough money for an apprenticeship and to support yourself while you are undertaking that apprenticeship. It may be a shorter road than doing it on whatever job you can find as a high school graduate.

Basically, think carefully before you make decisions.

10

Right now you’re still passing your courses. If you are taking art classes and still have no motivation, and yet you want to be a tattoo artist, there’s a disconnect right there.

Maybe you truly are depressed, and I agree with the other posters who said there’s no guarantee you will work on a tattoo portfolio if left with no structure. Perhaps talk with an art professor. Tell him or her what your plans are and maybe get some guidance as to an appropriate path.

Are there certificates for tattooing? I think you are best served by having some sort of plan that optimally at least includes a certificate. Then later, if you do decide to return to university, you’re at least halfway there. If you never return, you at least have a certificate.

I do think having some sort of graduating piece of paper (e.g., certificate) is important in the long run. If nothing else it shows knowing best practices and follow-through. Good luck!

11

If it is too late to get a refund for the semester, try to stick out the semester. Use the motivation of one day starting your own tattoo shop to motivate you thru the semester. Take relevant art, business, and accounting courses and maybe communications and psychology to help develop your people skills.

Perhaps you could get a job in tattoo studio? Walk in to some and just ask.