When I moved into my dorm at Georgia State, I spent so much time crying because I missed home especially my family and my dog. My family and I have always been close. I was so distraught that I left the dorm to commute 45 mins to school instead. There was a bus that I would take to get to school which was very convenient. For a while, commuting was fine but I got tired of living with my parents especially when I had friends who were doing so well on their own. At a reunion with my hs friends, everyone was talking about their college experience, and I felt pathetic because I didn’t get to experience that. So as a result, I made a decision to get an apartment off campus. Plus my boyfriend who also goes to school in Atlanta can visit more often. But now I really regret getting the apartment. 1) it’s more expensive than commuting and 2) I’ll miss my family. Even after a semester, I don’t really like the GSU campus. It’s not the traditional campus that I wanted. And to top it off, I have like 3 friends at GSU. I want to transfer to UGA because 1) I have more friends down there, 2) housing is cheaper, 3) I like the campus more and 4) they actually have a microbiology major (GSU only has a major in biology and concentration in microbiology). But the bad part of transferring would be 1) I lose my $3000/yr scholarship from GSU. My parents can’t afford to pay for my education so I’m on my own financially. 2) I’m farther away from my boyfriend and seeing him always helps when I feel bad, 3) it won’t be as easy for me to go home. Right now, I want to continue commuting but I need to learn to be on my own. I figured because UGA coursework is more rigorous and tough than GSU and plus I have friends there, then I will be distracted and won’t have time to be homesick. Idk want to do. I dread going back to school. I have been crying so much. I hate feeling this bad.
You have good social reasons for wanting to transfer, but you’ll also need academic reasons in order to convince UGA to admit you. In addition, you could also apply for a transfer to Agnes Scott, which is very residential. Spelman is another terrific college if you’re interested in HBCUs. You could also attend a community college and commute from home, giving you time to “grow up” for cheaper than now while still accumulating credits. I think Perimeter has good articulation agreements for instance. Kennesaw State is easy to get into and has sumptuous dorms, which may make things easier for you. Ogglethorpe is another one in the metro area where it’s easy to transfer and either commute.
Do you qualify for Zell Miller? Or Hope?
You don’t have to go back to school. You could ask for a leave of absence at GSU and work, saving money and applying to universities within 45mn of where your family lives.
DO NOT MAKE A DECISION YET. Apply to all these schools and wait until you get your financial aid package. (For Agnes Scott, email Admissions today, asking about housing for transfers. You’ll want to live in the dorms in order to make friends quicker). Then, start inquiring about community colleges near your home so that you can commute there.
Finally, re-read your paragraph: you made a lot of impulsive, immature decisions. It’s possible your parents never went to college and didn’t know what to tell you, or that you decided you knew better since it’s your life and you’re paying your way, but either way, look at the sequence of events:
- you felt homesick your first weeks in the dorm. Instead of thinking “this is normal and it’ll pass once I make friends and join clubs” and/or “let’s talk about it with my adviser/the health center/a counselor”, you ran home. That was the first bad decision because it’s hard at first for most students and this is a bonding experience for freshmen; in addition, freshmen make their friends by living in dorms and joining clubs - commuting means both opportunities become severely reduced; it’s harder to get involved on campus and to have a satisfying experience; you’re isolated from your peers. (It’s okay to miss your family and want to commute, but parents advise their children to wait for a semester before they make any decision.) And so, you left without thinking of the consequences for your social and academic life.
- you were home and commuting 45mn by bus, which isn't horrible. You stopped missing your family (the starting point of this whole story)... and, instead of thinking "I'm so lucky I no longer have to miss my family, so lucky I can commute so easily - best of both worlds!", you started disliking living with them. The consequences of living at home (less freedom, being isolated from your peer group) became apparent again. You forgot you were commuting in the first place because you were missing your family living on your own in Atlanta. You got envious of your friends who were having the opportunities you would have had if you'd shown some resilience and stuck it out in the dorms.
- so, you made another bad decision: you decided to rent an apartment in town. Obviously, issue #1 resurfaced. In addition to missing your family, you no longer had the support network provided by the dorms and the friends all freshmen can make there. So, your decision compounded the problem: no social life through the dorms, no family support = more loneliness.
In this situation, I understand why you want to transfer: it’s quite sub-optimal from all points of view.
However, in order for you to make things work wherever you attend college, you need to work through this: no more impulsive decisions, don’t run away from the problem, seek help with counselors/advisers as soon as a problem surfaces, show resilience.
If you don’t work through this, the same issue will pop up again and again, and it won’t get better.
Finally, wherever you go, join a living-learning community. Those create built-in relationships. You may not like all the people in your LLC but at least you’ll have 3-4 you can count on.
Really great advice from @MYOS1634.
Don’t let what your friends are doing dictate what you feel you have to do. If commuting fits your budget and you are homesick, be true to yourself and move back home. If the bus schedule permits, try to join a couple of clubs on campus. You have your whole life to live indepently once you are out of college. Maybe 60 years or more! You don’t have to rush.
Very insightful post from @MYOS1634 . Don’t make ANOTHER impulsive decision today. Choose to work through this problem like an adult. Gathering FACTUAL information about each of your options and getting opinions from trusted elders in your life would be a wise step.
- What are the legal/financial obligations to GSU and to the apartment owner you rented from? Will you be held liable for the entire apt rental if you don't return to GSU? Talk to GSU Financial Aid and find out your options for not returning this semester.
WALKING AWAY FROM YOUR APT RENTAL OBLIGATION SHOULD NOT BE AN OPTION FOR YOU. Find out if you can pay a penalty, or if you can sub-let the apt, or only pay a percentage of the rent by backing out now.
- It is too late to apply and transfer to UGA for spring semester. Find out on UGA website what their transfer requirements are. If you want to attend UGA for Fall 2016 semester, what can you do now to be sure you have the required number of college courses completed? Find out their deadlines for transfer applications.
Find out UGA’s GPA requirements for transfers. Depending on your Fall 2015 grades at GSU, you may need to put in more academic effort for spring semester to raise your GPA.
- The simplest option is to continue taking classes at GSU for spring semester 2016. Complete transfer application to UGA and any other schools you might be interested in. This will give you options to consider. You are talking about 5 months to suck it up and stay focused on a longer term goal, which is getting a college degree.
3A. If you continue at GSU, you can decide if you will live at home (based on what apt rental options you have) or live in rental apt, or is there any dorm space left on GSU campus? Ask those questions today to find out what realistic options are available to you.
- You can withdraw from GSU, take a semester off to live at home and work to save money for college expenses. (Again, depends on if you can get out of the rental apt contract.)
IF YOU ARE NOT ATTENDING COLLEGE AT ALL, IT WILL TRIGGER YOUR STUDENT LOANS TO COME DUE IN 6 MONTHS.
You can use this time for growth and personal reflection. I suggest you find a volunteer opportunity that interests you. Don’t just volunteer for the sake of volunteering, but find an area of passion where you want to make a difference. Sometimes getting outside of yourself and serving others can give you a clearer head and allow you to look beyond the negatives in your own life.
- Is your relationship with your boyfriend a healthy one? Is it new and short-lived, or are you already planning a future together? Either way, I hope you will put your own education as first priority. A strong bond can handle your move to UGA. It's not like you would be moving across the country.
This is a crossroads for you. You have an opportunity to be an adult, and to make adult-sized decisions. Realize that you will most likely experience some amount of homesickness/regret no matter which option you choose. Admit your emotional weakness, and make an action plan to combat those normal emotions that will creep back in.
What matters most to you? Financial implications need to be up there at the top, you need to be sure your choices can be paid for without huge student loan debt.
Take some deep breaths and then start gathering the information you need to make an informed decision.
It was a mistake moving out of the dorms. See if you can get back in. Also see if you can find an adult who is sensible that you can talk to. You’ve made some rash, very bad decisions.