"A few years ago, an acquaintance received a stunning phone call from her daughter’s former college roommate. The conversation went something like this:
"I thought you should know your daughter never graduated from college.’;
‘What? She claimed she was just skipping the ceremony.’
‘Well, the truth is she didn’t attend classes the last two years.’
The parents were shellshocked, concerned and ultimately furious at the school. ‘Why didn’t they tell us?’
I think parents wouldn’t know if they either weren’t paying the tuition OR (dumbly) they were giving the tuition money to their kid and “letting” him/her pay it.
Otherwise, how would the parent “not know”?
In the Mark Hacking case, the parents were (stupidly) giving him the the tuition money…and he wasn’t going to school.
this was a completely avoidable situation.
All parents have the option when a child first enrolls in college to have the child authorize them to have access to records, grades, etc.
If a parent is paying for college, that is a minimal quid-pro-quo that should be expected.
My kids’ colleges don’t have the authorization but, like thumper1, no check is sent out for next semester’s tuition until we see grades from the past semester. I trust my kids but I still hold them accountable.
Agreed, the parents were not paying attention and allowed themselves to be deceived. We ask to see the kid’s grades online every semester – for what we are paying we feel that is a pretty reasonable request.
The parents should pat themselves on their back for not looking at their kid’s grades (not). At work I am required to show my project status, monthly financial statement, and business plan, but it is an invasion of privacy (or too helicoptering) when we are paying for our kids to go to school and want to know how they are doing in college. I am sorry, when I am paying 60k+ a year, I am entitled to a progress report. You are entitled to your privacy, when you are self-employed or self-supporting.
Our kids always shared their grades with us. We have never yelled, scolded, punished, etc. over grades. They have always been responsible for earning their grades and we were responsible for encouraging their best work. No reason for them to now refuse us access to that info.
Their college has a method by which students can grant parents online access to certain information, like the current transcript, schedule and fee statement. We asked and they gave us access. I wonder what it would be like to have a kid refuse to do so!
On the flip side, I can’t tell you how angry I was when my W and I were young. We had to call her parents house in another state to find out her final grades (we were married after the semester started).
I needed son’s grades for auto insurance discount. Payment for tuition was me to fidelity, then straight to college. I never had access to grades and courses or medical records. Some kids are more open, but my son wanted his privacy.
My D2’s college makes it insanely difficult to get a full FERPA waiver (for stuff like attendance and grades). It took TWO in person visits to the registrar by me and my kid to accomplish it, while at D1’s school it was super easy – they provided a form for the student to sign in the orientation packet if they want to.
However, D2’s school does have an easy process to grant parents access to the financial info. I guess they know they won’t get paid otherwise. Funny how easy they make it when it benefits them.
FERPA or not, a parent who is funding college can just require the student to show the courses and grades completed as a condition for funding the next semester.
I don’t think most families need to make seeing school records a condition of funding.
Unless your child doesn’t drive, you’re going to see their grades because you’re going to need them to attempt to get the good student discount from your auto insurance company.
Or, if your child goes to college far away and doesn’t take a car, there’s a discount for that, too, but that one only requires proof of enrollment, not proof of grades. Still, this should be enough to enable you to detect whether there’s a serious problem.
This is a misleading title. It should read “College adults have too much privacy” because that’s exactly what the overwhelming majority of us are, adults. If parents want to, they can require that they be put down as an emergency contact in the event of a crisis, and they can certainly require proof of college attendance/ grades for continual financial and/ or emotional support.
Would any advocates of FERPA overhaul support requiring that parents receive copies of their adult child’s W2 form as well as any other employment or medical document, unless the young adult, who likely has limited awareness of privacy laws, opts out?
Our insurance company does not require proof of good grades, they have accepted when I just tell them the GPA. If your kid gets sick (something serious, either physical or mental illness), FERPA can legally restrict the college from communicating academic status to parents. Haven’t used the FERPA waiver for either kid, but feel better knowing it is there if something like that happened.
FERPA and HIPPA - they sound like a couple of innocuous zoo animals, but they sure have created headaches for those of us who have to deal with them on a regular basis.