Vassar seems like a great academic fit, if Poughkeepsie is large enough for you and it is affordable.
For a friendly place that is the right size, easier to get into (and potentially happy to provide more merit aid), maybe look at Gonzaga University — but make sure the math department offers all that you want.
If cost is an issue, look very hard at the schools that provide lots of NMF aid. There is a great thread here on CC somewhere that describes options - I will see if I can find it.
Even if they don’t appear to be the right size, pay visits to the ones you like best. My daughter loved the vibe at the school she picked even though on paper it didn’t look any different from schools she rejected.
Also look at University of Arizona. It is the right size with a decent math program, the orchestra auditions are open to non-majors, and they offer a generous NMF scholarship.
Basically, once you have your 3 safeties and are sure they are affordable, you can look at the NMF schools and choose the ones you like better than those 3 : better weather? Better Honors dorms? More flexibility in the curriculum? More choices in math, especially interesting courses in subjects you are curious about?
Have you visited colleges? Uaz and ASU both have terrific Honors Colleges/dorms etc. Closer to home, UWisc and UMN are quite different from each other. StOlaf is 45mn from the Twin Cities and easy to visit. All are very different and should give you an idea of what environment you like best.
Before you do anything though, you must run the NPCs with your parents.
Some parents delight in having money to spend on their child’s college and cannot imagine a better use for their funds, even if they’re full pay. Other parents find this silly - why spend so much money when an excellent education can be had for less and their child can be equally happy at many different places ?
Run NPCs and see what they say.