I’ve lived my life with a plan to spend my childhood where I live right now and, come college years, hit the road to ditch everyone I know and find a new life somewhere far, far away. However, (and I should add I’m very early to be considering what college to go to) through some unforeseen circumstances, I found myself wandering the campus of a REALLY good private university that’s basically just down the street from my house. I had always said it was a great school, but I wasn’t interested because of this ditching-everything-here plan. But I loved the school, and now I’m second-guessing myself.
So I’m wondering what college near parents and in the city in which I grew up is like for someone like me who wants to go somewhere new and make my own life. Anyone have two cents?
If you are admitted and it is affordable to live on campus for at least the first year, it will be very much like going far away, and you will have the added benefit of popping home to do laundry/raid the fridge/pet your dog whenever the mood strikes. Your pals from far away will adore you because they will get to tag along, and charm your parents into adopting them for Fall Break, Thanksgiving, and Spring Break. I know this from personal experience as the from far away student.
If you are admitted and it is affordable only if you live off campus, then you can still spend almost every waking hour on campus, and occasionally crash at a friends dorm room when you have worked too late and are too tired to drag yourself all the way home. I know this from watching what my local friends did.
I always wanted to leave for college too, but I ended up going to a small private university about 25 minutes away from where I live. I had planned on going to a big state school far away, but once I went on the small private school’s campus a few times, I just loved it. Also, it’s really nice to be able to go home about once a month and hang out with my family, whereas some of my friends only get to go home for Christmas break and summer.
Living on campus makes me feel like I’m not even close to my parents as I don’t have a car and my parents don’t like to drive to come pick me up lol. But, even if you live at home, you can hang out on campus most of the day, go to classes, go to the library, hang out with friends, participate in clubs, get a job, etc. and it will feel like you barely live at home and still be affordable.
It’s really not all that bad and since you already like the environment of the campus, I’m sure you would learn to love the school even if it is not where you planned on attending your entire life. If it is affordable and you feel like you will be happy, I think the college near your home is a great option!
@happymomof1@emily44 thanks for the advice. I have a lot of time to think about it but I guess I’ll consider this school more seriously now.
one more question tho: in tv shows, parents seem to always love to just show up at their kids’ dorms. is that something that really happens in real life?
Don’t confuse a plot device with real life. Surely there are parents who do that kind of thing (just as there must be some parents who really did make their homes clothing optional when the last kid moved out), but most of us are way too busy with our own lives. You know your parents. What do you think they would do?
.My son’s roommate grew up about 10 min from the college they are at. His parents only show up when requested or expected - like when it was brutally hot in September and they brought a fan. Or on a Sunday when they picked him up for brunch. As the commenter above said, most parents are busy with their own lives. Talk to your parents about it and set the expectation that if you do go there, you want to be on your own and limit the visits. I’m sure they will completely understand. Good luck!
if the college is affordable and right for you and your parents will let you live on campus and are not the type that get too involved in your life, then it would be fine.
I went to a school 25 minutes from my home. My parents promised that they would respect boundaries and never show up unexpected or pressure me to visit. They kept their word and for all practical purposes it was living away. My daughter chose a school about an hour away from home and I made the same deal with her. She is always welcome to come home, but I never pressure and I NEVER show up uninvited or unexpected.
