I’m a junior who has begun heavily researching colleges and have run into the issue of politics. I’m utterly afraid to tell my parents the list I’ve come up with. My parents are extremely conservative; I consider myself a political moderate (it took me a lot of personal turmoil to come to this conclusion); and nearly all the colleges I’ve been looking at are liberal. However, these are the colleges that offer the best financial aid (my parents have said they are able to give me very little aid for college) and by far the best research, academics, etc. They’re mostly in the Northeast, my favorite region. In addition, I’ve been working extremely hard in high school to make myself a candidate for these colleges, and I can say that I have a fair chance at many of them (multiracial female who wants to major in astrophysics or physics, 35 ACT, all 5’s on 6 AP exams so far, club officer positions, work in a lab, published research, etc.).
So far, my non-safety list consists of Swarthmore, Haverford, Bryn Mawr, Bowdoin, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Colby, and Caltech. I still want to look at Middlebury, Carleton, and Williams, and then narrow the list down from there.
I’m afraid my parents will be afraid to send me to most of these places, for fear I’ll return after the first semester a socialist, although I intend to avoid politics (something quite achievable in my major). I’m afraid they’ll force me to re-do my college list or attend the state flagship after hundreds of hours of running net price calculators, reading about the research done there, and getting my heart set on colleges.
I guess what I want to know is, has anyone else ever dealt with this issue before? Should I just outright explain my list to my (usually intolerant of anything remotely leftist) parents?
First of all, you are very thoughtful - and an excellent writer - for a kid who is a junior in h.s.!
I would just stay focused on the academic excellence of any school where you want to apply. Except for the hard-core Christian colleges, most college campuses (including good ol’ public southern schools) have a liberal bent. Your parents will not avoid that no matter what they do, save sending you somewhere like Pensacola Christian College.
Good luck, and great job with your high school academic career so far!
ETA: We are a fairly politically conservative family looking at all public universities except one or two. Our son is an adult will have to decide that stuff for himself.
Nothing parents can do will control their children’s own life choices and attitudes, and if history is any guide, the more strenuously they strive to do so, the more abject their failure will be.
@lostaccount my parents are heavily swayed by the media; is there any data on this online? I’ve seen scattered statistics like “5% identify as conservative” on such and such a college, but I haven’t found a comprehensive source with this type of info.
@SouthFloridaMom9 thank you! I’ll focus on the specific courses/research when telling them my list, and remind them that almost every college with these is liberal, and that many conservatives attend these colleges and survive. I just hope they’ll let me make my own choices and not fight me for them.
@marvin100 this is something I wish they’d realize. I don’t ever intend to tell them my political standing (they wouldn’t have it), but hopefully saying that I don’t want to get involved with the politics will help them allow me to go somewhere known to be more liberal.
@marvin100 do you think it would be a good idea to tell them? I think it should be really simple–I’m less conservative than they are, natural for younger generations. I wouldn’t even think it’s something I should have to tell them (were it not for their obvious expectations that I’ll grow up to be another tea party member like them). But historically, they’ve been extremely intolerant, and brutally suspicious of me harboring liberal sentiments. Moreover, I’m afraid to tell them at a time like this, when I’m about to visit colleges and they could easily put boundaries on my list by refusing to allow me to visit or help me financially should I decide to attend a college like swarthmore.
I feel like you should explain to them how you think you will thrive in these schools and how they will prepare you for the future.I feel like all parents want their children to succeed and I don’t know of anyone who would turn down the opportunity to go to great schools due to political concerns.Maybe try to see if there is a republican club(not that you want to join) or find a specific blog post from the college website that says something about a student being on the more conservative side.Many people in NE are conservative and do go to these schools so I would say there is a variety of political opinions at these schools which would hopefully convince your parents to let you go.
What is liberal about these college? Is the food service liberal? Are liberal views expressed while discussing math? By liberal do you mean progressive or permissive? Do you mean the administration filters out students who are Republican? What exactly do you mean?
@rhodeisland looking for specific accounts is a great idea; I’m sure they’ll envision me having a similar experience at a liberal college if they hear an account of a conservative/moderate talk about their positive experience. Also, this will work towards my benefit since it’ll show that even the most liberal of these colleges have the tolerance.
@lostaccount from what I’ve heard, a larger percentage of students identify as liberal and extremely liberal (the same going for almost every professor); and economically, and even more so socially, liberal philosophies and policies are advocated by the universities, both my students and faculty. Specifically what would bother them is a lack of solidarity among conservatives at these colleges (whether or not it exists).
@coffeeaddicted - probably best not to tell them, honestly. The schools on your list are spectacular, your major isn’t naturally or necessarily political (although I’d argue that everything is political), and hopefully you can convince them that your life goals necessitate your attendance at a school of that caliber. Schools of that caliber universally have student bodies more liberal than your parents (if, as you write, they’re tea-partiers).
I wouldn’t mention politics AT ALL. I’d talk about strength in your major, how they MEET NEED, and what the net price calculators show. Maybe if you don’t make it about politics, they will be less inclined to. This is the last moment I would “come out” to them politically. I guess you could research whether they have a Republican club on campus (most are going to, although they are going to be more lightly attended – you don’t have to commit to join, just note their existence).
What about more apolitical schools – MIT, Harvey Mudd. They are reaches, but not particularly liberal leaning. Mudd doesn’t specifically have an astrophysics major, but they are very strong in Physics. I also think of UChicago as maybe less political (just really focused on the intellectual side, the grimy side of the world like politics is something they don’t have much time for).
I say sell them on prestige/quality: “These are finest colleges in the country with the most accomplished faculty, the largest endowments and the best facilities. Just look at these USNWR rankings if you don’t believe me. Thousands of of kids around this country are practically killing themselves trying to get into these places, and I have a real shot. I don’t want to let concerns about political views on campus keep me from getting the very best educational experience I can and putting myself in the best possible position for future success.”
Also, I don’t know what your financial situation is like, but these elite schools are also the ones that are the very most generous with need-based financial aid. So that may be another angle you could work. Princeton for instance doesn’t do loans at all. Everyone who needs aid gets it through grants, so post-college debt is really low.
Agree with inparent. You are going to school for the education. Presumably, your parents have done a good job of raising you, instilling values and morals, a work ethic, etc…now they need to trust you that you to make good choices. You presumably have a track record of doing that already which should validate that their confidence in you is justified. If you think it would make them more comfortable, know that there are non-co-ed dorms for women on some campuses (if you are female), there is sub-free housing on most campuses for people who want a community that avoids drugs/alcohol, there are conservative political groups on almost every campus…if you are willing to accept some constraints your freshman year (like calling every week or whatever makes them feel good) and they see you handling the experience well, they may be more comfortable in subsequent years giving you more freedom to make the kind of choices that you’d prefer to make.
@“N’s Mom” you’re right, that would all make them more comfortable. I will definitely focus on the prestige of the academics and research, and the fact that Republicans do exist on these campuses. @intparent I forgot to add that MIT is currently on my list; however I wouldn’t receive enough need-based aid at Harvey Mudd or UChicago for them to be affordable. @rayrick that is a great strategy–I’ll be sure to emphasize how far I’ve come and how lucky I would be to get in.
Thank you everyone, this is making me a lot less stressed out about this issue. I’ll take this all into consideration when we start talking about colleges and visits for next summer!
Seems like a big red herring to me. There may be more liberals as faculty because people who have different values often choose not to take jobs where the pay is lower and where ideas are discussed and central, as opposed to money, for example. But I bet in fields where money is central, like econ or business, there are plenty of republicans. In terms of students, don’t Republicans and conservative go to college?
@lostaccount unfortunately, my mom always tells me that because such-and-such her conservative friend’s son/daughter went to that I should too. She often compares me to other high school/college students at our church (I’m Christian and believe what they believe in terms of faith), when I really shouldn’t be compared to them as my goals are entirely different from theirs, for the most part. She seems to think that every conservative goes to a lower-tier college and does just as well in their career (I want to go to a higher college for both the quality of education/opportunity and the experience of being around peers who are like me), but mentioning the republican politicians who went to Ivies should help @Much2learn
Some conservatives are not fans of government / public things, presumably including colleges.
But are your parents trying to get you to go to an in-state public school because it costs less or because they cannot afford (or think they cannot afford) the private schools you are interested in? Some public schools are quite good in physics, though.
Also, if your parents are the kind of conservatives who take the creation of the universe in the Book of Genesis literally, then science majors like physics and biology can run afoul of their beliefs. So tread carefully here.
