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<p>And I agree with that. But I just don’t see it happening. Especially with how “safe” and “good” I am. </p>
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<p>Your logic makes sense. However, I’m a rapist’s worse nightmare. I’m hardly naive and the fact that I’m shrewd, untrusting, and precautious makes me an unlikely candidate (not necessarily impossible, though).</p>
<p>You seem to equate rape with bedrooms, which is a little ignorant on your part. Especially the “at night” factor…In fact, I’ve commonly heard that most reported rapes happen during the day. The point is, it can happen anywhere and at anytime. In any scenario or setting. I find it hard to believe that if a guy is really intent on raping you, he’ll wait until after you’ve invited him into your room. </p>
<p>It’s good to be cautious. No one is arguing that. But what isn’t good is your idea that you’re virtually incapable of being raped. That’s a fallible mindset, and one that would put you in an especially bad position if–GOD FORBID–it were ever to happen to you. </p>
<p>Also, personally, I’ll admit that it’s pretty insulting to those who have been victims of attack. Though you say you’re not, you really are implying that those who’ve been subjects of sexual assault did something “wrong or stupid”, that they weren’t cautious enough. And alcohol is not an invitation to rape…I hate that people try and argue that women just shouldn’t drink if they don’t want to “make themselves susceptible.”</p>
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<p>RAINN.org reports that 73% of rape victims know their attackers. Scarily high…</p>
<p>Yikes!</p>
<p>I can see where this is going (attacks and offended posters and all) so I’m just going to end by agreeing to disagree. From most stories I’ve heard (about college rape victims), alcohol and/or poor judgment were involved. I’m not saying that college rape victims are “wrong or stupid”, but that maybe a rape could have been avoided had one been more cautious and shrewed about their decision making.</p>
<p>I’ve also never said that I was “inescapable” from rape, but I would definitely not be an “easy target” like many other college girls. In fact, I’d be one of the harder ones.</p>
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<p>Translates to, rape victims ARE naive (which, coincidentally, is a word I’d use to describe you :[ ), overly trusting, and just plain careless?</p>
<p>And The PrincessBride this isn’t an attack on you. More worry I guess. I know someone who [i[was* you, and it didn’t turn out well…Her mentality just reinforced the idea that she had done something wrong in order to get attacked, and she’s currently getting help for that. Hell, you might never be a victim and, while that would be a great thing, it wouldn’t particularly be because of anything you did (though that would play a part), but more a great amount of luck.</p>
<p>No offense, but you don’t know crap about me to call me “naive” or “ignorant”. </p>
<p>If you all want to get offended by what I’ve stated, then so be it. It wasn’t meant to insult anyone, but just as a personal observation, especially from all the stories I hear about drunken girls getting raped on campus, girls walking all alone at night and getting raped at gun point, among other things. But yet, I’m the “naive” one for thinking that I’m decreasing my chances for being my precautious. Right.</p>
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<p>That’s not a naive statement? Saying you’ve decreased your chances is one thing, claiming you’re untouchable is another.</p>
<p>This is what I just posted before:</p>
<p>And The PrincessBride this isn’t an attack on you. More worry I guess. I know someone who [i[was* you, and it didn’t turn out well…Her mentality just reinforced the idea that she had done something wrong in order to get attacked, and she’s currently getting help for that. Hell, you might never be a victim and, while that would be a great thing, it wouldn’t particularly be because of anything you did (though that would play a part), but more a great amount of luck.</p>
<p>I never said I was “untouchable” just that the chances of being raped by taking these extra steps decreases my odds of my being raped. And when I meant “don’t have to worry about these things” I wasn’t referring to rape but the risky behaviors associated with drinking/drugs/partying (where plenty of rapes do take place, unfortunately). I should have clarified.</p>
<p>Again, I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way, but I see all these college girls taking some [unnecessary] risks, and I can’t help but not be shocked. It’s like a student leaving their dorm room unlocked and being surprised to find that their labtop has been taken (hope that analogy works). Where’s the surprise?</p>
<p>And my heart does go out to all those who have been rape victims. Hopefully each and everyone will seek help and not keep it in.</p>
<p>"No offense, but you don’t know crap about me to call me “naive” or “ignorant”.</p>
<p>If you all want to get offended by what I’ve stated, then so be it. It wasn’t meant to insult anyone, but just as a personal observation, especially from all the stories I hear about drunken girls getting raped on campus, girls walking all alone at night and getting raped at gun point, among other things. But yet, I’m the “naive” one for thinking that I’m decreasing my chances for being my precautious. Right."</p>
<p>You are not saying your chances are decreased, you are saying the odds are virtually non-existent because of STEREOTYPES of rape victims you have heard about. I am sorry, but that is the definition of naive. I am also not trying to attack you, and am not saying you are not decreasing your chances of being raped, but the fact is you are still very much at risk and it is important to realize that. As a rape victim myself, I wanted to make sure you are aware of that. You are making the mistake that I made. I hope you’ll go through life having never needed anything I have tried to impress on you, but you very well could be wishing you’d known better someday. </p>
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<p>I shake my head at you.</p>
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<p>No, that is NOT what I’m saying, but take it as you will.</p>
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<p>You don’t really know my lifestyle, nor do you know enough about to say that I am “very much at risk”, just like I don’t know enough about you to say that you were being careless at the time of your rape.</p>
<p>And again, how is an extremely cautious, border-line anti-social, homebody “very much at risk” for rape? Please. Do tell.</p>
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<p>You’ve been pretty condescending towards me (“sweetheart” “dear” “ignoramous”). Again, sorry that happened to you, but just because it happened to you it doesn’t mean it is going to happen to me or that I’m at a “high risk” as you would like.</p>
<p>i’d say TPB is MORE at risk for rape since she’s so anti-social, look up studies on how rape is about power, not sex, being anti-social and cautious is going to make her look weak and be a target</p>
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<p>Exactly what I’m talking about and THAT is my mindset.</p>
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<p>Just because one looks weak doesn’t mean one IS weak. Contrary to the anti-social stereotype, I’m quite strong-willed, have a straight head on my shoulder, and I would never put myself in a position to be preyed upon.</p>
<p>some ****ed-up guy could try to get close to you and then take advantage of you</p>
<p>Which is exactly what happened to me, and I am also a strong-willed homebody. So whaaatever, you can lead a horse to water and all.</p>
<p>I don’t think she’s more at risk than anyone else. In fact, she is, at least statistically speaking, less so. I think what got people angry was that appeared she didn’t consider herself at risk at all. Obviously, caution is a big factor.</p>
<p>The only reason I would consider her more at risk, which I don’t necessarily, would be because assuming you are safe is one great way to leave yourself vulnerable.</p>
<p>TPB no one is attacking you. People are concerned about your mindset. I used to think the exact same way (only drunken sluts get into trouble blah blah blah). But like TwistedxKiss I actually trusted the guy I was seeing and although I did make a few poor choices (i.e. not telling anyone I planeed on spending the weekend with him at a hotel) I was expecting sex. HOWEVER, I changed my mind. I told him no plain and simple. I tried to push him off, and all he did was tell me to stop crying and enjoy it so he could finish. You need to realize that these things happen in just about any situation. Even if you’ve already agreed to sexual activity with someone you trust. If at some point you ask him to stop and he doesn’t you’re in the same situation as any those other unfortunate “party girls” who have been taken advantage of.</p>
<p>Hey duke101,</p>
<p>My mindset isn’t that I’m some invincible super heroine that can’t get raped, but being cautious about who I hang out with, where I go, and how I conduct myself sure does make my life alot safer, and it has been for 18 years. If people want to get all upset about that statement, then so be it.</p>
<p>And I never said that it was only “party girls” that get raped, but they sure are more likely to be taken advantage of. Another reason I’m not into the partying scene.</p>
<p>Alot of people on this board have gotten very ticked off by my statements, so I’m done. Whatever. I feel very confident in the choices that I’ve made, and I feel that I am alot more safer than alot of other college girls BECAUSE of those choices.</p>
<p>You’re safer than I am yet you date online! XD</p>