<p>@Twisted: No offence. I understand that everyone has the right to express the opinion. But, just because you are a victim yourself, that doesn’t give you the right to rant at everyone else who thinks that they won’t get raped. ‘Naive’ and ‘ignorant’ are very derogatory words. Now you think you are very funny eh?</p>
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<p>What is the XD supposed to mean? You do have a good sense of humour.</p>
<p>Now, I’m sorry to hear that you got raped (if you really are, I don’t know). But please pay some respect to other people like you who are expressing their own opinions. And honestly, no one in this world, is naive or ignorant.</p>
<p>I’m with you MrPropapanda. What the hell is that supposed to mean? </p>
<p>Dating online has helped plenty of shy, introverted people connect with current (or past) boyfriends/girlfriends/friends. For someone like me, I have found online dating to be very helpful socially and romantically. Dating online can be very safe…so as long as you aren’t stupid and reckless about it (like giving out your phone number, address, social security number, meeting people at their houses/non-public areas, etc). I’m sorry you have a stuck up disdain for it, but I and thousands of others have met partners and friends online, and I haven’t any regrets.</p>
<p>@ MrPropapanda,</p>
<p>I honestly don’t know what Twisted’s issue is. I’m starting to get a sense that she is bitter and can’t take that not every girl is going to live in fear of getting raped. My opinion is that if you are safe and watch your actions, who you hang out with and where, and don’t engage in reckless behavior, you shouldn’t have to live in constant fear. And it is my belief that some women are more susceptible (sp?) to being rape targets than others, and I don’t think (with good reason) that I’m an easy target. It doesn’t make me “ignorant” or “naive” at all.</p>
<p>The problem is that a lot of girls my age (and a little older) take all these unnecessary risks. I look out my window and see girls walking by themselves at night, going to some random guy’s apartment and having a drunken house party (let’s face it, alcohol is often involved w/college-aged rapes), and/or are just too trusting too soon of people (i.e. inviting people back to their dorms, going to places w/people they are unfamiliar w/). Many of these girls with the “I’m invincible” attitudes live on the wild side, and these are the girls, from my personal observation, that are <em>most likely</em> to get raped. It’s sad, but true. Is it always the case? No. But many times, it is.</p>
<p>Think of it like HIV transmission. Isn’t it logical to think that someone who uses clean needles, uses condoms along w/other STD-prevention methods every single time and is in one monogamous relationship is less likely to get HIV from someone who doesn’t take any of those precautions? Now there is ALWAYS a chance that HIV transmission can occur, but there are ways to make it <em>less likely</em> to happen. </p>
<p>“@Twisted: No offence. I understand that everyone has the right to express the opinion. But, just because you are a victim yourself, that doesn’t give you the right to rant at everyone else who thinks that they won’t get raped. ‘Naive’ and ‘ignorant’ are very derogatory words. Now you think you are very funny eh?”</p>
<p>I really was not trying to be funny when I said that, I meant it. I was also really not trying to rant at her. It is deeply upsetting to me to encounter somebody as utterly clueless as I was, as my own very similar naivete was a major player in getting me raped. I really, truly wish someone had told me that I was a moron. Avoiding dark alleys and abstaining from drinking and partying is not enough to bring you even a semblance of safety, and if you cling to that you are protecting yourself from nothing.</p>
<p>With her later posts, I really don’t know if TPB knows what she is saying. Half the time she chooses to say the odds of her being raped are virtually non-existent-- the part that I take issue with, and the other half she simply states that she is less likely to be raped than some others and/or that she is decreasing her odds of being raped-- which I agree with wholeheartedly. These are two ENTIRELY AND COMPLETELY different statements that she is making at the same time. The only issue I have had with anything she has said is that the odds of her being raped are slim to none-- that is just plain silly. You don’t have to live in fear, but recognizing that the chances are still very real sufficient to recognize those MANY other, less obvious scenarios in which rape occurs is a very important part of protecting yourself.</p>
<p>I apologize that I did get rude with some of my postings. I stand by all of my original sentiments, but am sorry for how I presented them. It’s just frustrating to me because I do genuinely worry for people who hold the unbelievably arrogant belief that it’s really only stupid girls who get raped (or maybe you like it better to say that you are too smart to be raped, instead, as if it doesn’t mean the same thing), not to mention that it is highly insulting that you seem to feel that way. You have offended me, I expect, much more deeply than I have offended you.</p>
<p>"It’s just frustrating to me because I do genuinely worry for people who hold the unbelievably arrogant belief that it’s really only stupid girls who get raped "</p>
<p>I agree with you. I hope that some such people have been enlightened due to this thread. If not, we’ve done all that we could to let them know the facts so they empathize with rape survivors and also know how to lower their own chances of being raped. </p>
<p>I also hope that some people here noticed that men can be rape victims. This can happen even in the man is too drunk, scared or turned off to perform sexually the way that many people think is the only way to have sex. I won’t go into detail because I don’t want to have my post deleted, but there certainly are ways that men can be victimized sexually.</p>
<p>I think people have noticed that, northstarmom, at least I hope those parts of the thread haven’t been ignored. It is a shame that isn’t better known. I feel invisible and misunderstood enough as it is, and it is commonly understood that women are unfortunately raped all the time. I can’t imagine if I were a man in my position and not only have to contend with people doubting my story, but whether or not things like that happen at all.</p>
<p>I was really hoping that this thread won’t be another fail, which would possibly end in flames. Believe me, I’ve been to other forums, and ‘rape’ is regarded as a ■■■■■ thread pretty much because the topic starters, who call themselves victims, are actually clever ■■■■■■ who start the topic and then after 2-3 posts, they leave and watch flamers take over the scene. Flamers, are those who insult people with words, and the normal posters who do not know will ty to fight back against these flamers, ending in 25 pages of posts.</p>
<p>But anyway, let’s assume that this is not a fail thread. For the greater good, this is the lesser of 2 evils.</p>
<p>I didn’t read the 25 pages of posts, so I don’t know where you come from, or how old you are, cause that makes a lot of difference in the person’s thoughts.</p>
<p>The current ‘victim culture’ in America today is responsible for much of the irrational fear people have about this stuff. If you slip on someone’s icy driveway and break your arm it’s their fault for not salting it enough. If you spill your hot coffee and burn yourself it’s the restaurant’s fault for making it too hot. If your doctor makes a mistake you should sue for millions. If you get drunk, bring a guy home, get naked, have sex and later regret it…it’s his fault.</p>
<p>YES, bad things happen. There are many helpless victims of rape each day.
NO, they don’t happen nearly as often as they are claimed to happen. The statistics are misinterpreted, fudged and distorted to make a point and further the culture of fear and victimhood that is so pervasive today.</p>
<p>There’s a lot of rational thinking in there that is missing from this thread. Stop and think for just a minute what it really means for 1 in 3, 1 in 4, 1 in 5, or even 1 in 6 women to have actually been raped. It would be an out of control epidemic and womens colleges would be very popular. Most schools would think twice about letting men in.</p>
<p>Statistics show nothing. Most of the statistics that say 1 in 5, probably did find 5 person and specifically put 1 who really was raped. Then they distribute the surveys asking if you are raped or not. There you have, 1 in 5! Ladies and gentlemen, this sample can be compared to the whole population, and so I present you humbly 1 in 5 women get raped.</p>
<p>“Stop and think for just a minute what it really means for 1 in 3, 1 in 4, 1 in 5, or even 1 in 6 women to have actually been raped. It would be an out of control epidemic and womens colleges would be very popular.”</p>
<p>From what I’ve seen with the women I know, if one includes under rape victims those who were sexually molested as kids at least one in 5 women have experienced some kind of sexual molestation or assault.</p>
<p>I’ve always been the type of person who in real life people will tell personal things to that they haven’t revealed to others. I know that at least 2 of my high school friends were raped. One was date raped while we were in high school. The other was date raped in college, and I learned about that about 15 years later. The latter person also had been sexually molested during her childhood by a friend of her older brother.</p>
<p>Going to a female only college wouldn’t prevent someone from being date raped or being a child sexual abuse victim. I don’t think that most women rape victims were raped by strangers. They likely were sexually abused by someone they knew – a date, friend, relative, neighbor…</p>
<p>The reason that so many people here don’t believe the stats is that your minds are closed to the possibility that the stats are true. Of course in real life no one would tell you about their experiences being sexually abused. They’d figure you’d either scoff at them or blame them.</p>
<p>I haven’t gone through life looking for rape and sexual molestation survivors. I am, though, interested in other people, and can hear a person’s secrets without putting them down. I think that’s why so many people have told me about their sexual abuse. This includes men. For example, when I was in college, I was the first person that my then boyfriend told about his being raped by a male neighbor when he was a child.</p>
<p>I don’t think my “mind is closed to the possibility that they’re true”. Whatever the true number is, its far too high, and I’d believe as high as 1/5, if I was shown compelling enough evidence and the terms weren’t overly broad. But 1/3 just stinks of a moral panic level of overreaching. [Satanic</a> ritual abuse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanic_ritual_abuse]Satanic”>Satanic panic - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>Well, whatever the real number is, it would be more productive to – instead of debating the number of rape victims – to discuss how rape can be prevented and avoided, and how rape survivors can get the help they need. Insisting on debating here whether 1 in 5 or 1 in 3 women are rape survivors seems insensitively off topic.</p>
<p>Much of what people here have offered are anecdotal emotional appeals. Clearly we should work to reduce the incidence of rape, but being alarmist and posting wildly inaccurate statistics about it only serves to make people afraid. There have already been several posts in this thread from people who are scared to go to college because of the frightening things posted about how seemingly everyone gets sexually assaulted there.</p>
<p>My undergrad thesis is on the political implications of the culture of fear in America. We’re irrationally scared of many things and make drastic and unnecessary changes to our lifestyles to avoid them while ignoring many things that we’d do well to be afraid of.</p>
<p>As a male college student I resent the veiled misandry behind statements of very high sexual assault rates.</p>
<p>Um, like how Americans are smoking and eating themselves to death while panicking about terrorists, college date rape and pedophiles, among other things, all three of which are media-blitzed to epic proportions.</p>
<p>For the last time, I NEVER said that it was only “stupid” girls that get raped. I also didn’t say that I couldn’t get raped, just that I’m taking the necessary precautions that make it less likely for rape to occur. You’ve continued to call me names “arrogant, ignorant, naive, clueless”, yet you know nothing of me. I might as well call you a dumb whore for getting yourself rape but guess what? I haven’t because that would be a *****y, inconsiderate thing for me to say, not to mention, I don’t know you from Eve. </p>
<p>Yes, anyone can get raped. Yes, it is real, but you know what? Telling me that I’m at a high risk is a real ***<em>ty thing to say, ESPECIALLY since I go out of my way not to be easy target. I know the risks, and only a truly ignorant, naive person would think that there was *no</em> possiblity of getting raped, and that would oftentimes manifest itself in a care-free life style. It is clear that I realize those possibilities because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be living my life the way that I do.</p>
<p>So you can stop with the back-handed insults, and we can agree to disagree.</p>
<p>I see exactly what you are saying. Americans tend to have these statistically irrational fears (like plane crashes and terrorist attacks), but they aren’t worried about putting toxins such as tobacco and highly-processed foods into their bodies. But at the same time, it is only smart to be a concerned and aware that plane crashes and terrorists attacks can and do occur and to be precautious. </p>
<p>And as for rape? Sexual assault is a problem, but how big/small? We can’t say for sure because we don’t have the exact numbers. Nevertheless, even if sexual assualt was truly minimal, women should be aware of their surroundings and be as cautious as possible, but they shouldn’t blow it out of proportion either. Take one look into the American media and you could easily assume that more than 3/4 of all women were sexually and/or domestically assaulted by a man (and that’s quite insulting to the male population too), and I highly doubt that stat. is true.</p>